Home Early

I come home from a night out with friends and walk into the bedroom to find you lying on the bed, wearing nothing but a cage and your collar.  You smile up at me.

“Did you have fun?”

“I did,” I reply.  “I had a lot of fun.”

“Then why did you come home so early?”

My grin widens and my eyes darken.  It’s a look that you’ve seen many times before, but no matter how many times you see it, it still makes your heart jump and sends chills down your spine.

I approach and I straddle you, one knee on either side of you on the bed.  You reach up to touch me, but I grab both of your wrists and pin them against your chest with one hand.  My other hand goes to your neck, effectively pinning you beneath me, pinning you against the bed.

“There’s something else I’d rather do,” I murmur, leaning close to kiss you.  I take your bottom lip between my teeth and bite down hard, until you’re gasping and whimpering into my mouth.

I devour your mouth, drinking in your moans and frustrated whines as your cock swells inside its cage, aching to be let out.  Then, I turn your head to the side and kiss my way along your jaw, up your neck, and to your ear.  Gently at first, I take your lobe between my teeth.

You begin squirming as my touch sends chills down your spine.

Your reactions fuel my lust, and I rise off of you, rolling you over on the bed, demanding that you get on all fours, your head down and ass up.  Without a word, I pull my thin leather belt off, fold it in half, and bring it down across your ass.

You gasp and tense, but in the next second, you exhale in relief as you realize I could’ve hit you a lot harder.

Your relief is short-lived, however.  Almost immediately after the first, I deliver five more, much, much harder.  Only a short pause, and then another five.

“Aww, does that hurt?” I ask sweetly, running the very tips of my fingers lightly over the stinging, reddening skin of your ass.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“My poor boy,” I reply, somewhat absently, as I examine the marks I’ve left on you, my eyes trailing up your body, at the half-healed welts and bruises from previous beatings.  I don’t have to ask, I know your asshole is still sore from the beating and thorough fucking you’d gotten this morning.

But it isn’t nearly sore enough.  I bring my hand down hard against your hole, spanking you without pause until you’re squirming and writhing.

“That’s my good little slut,” I murmur, using my other hand around your waist to hold you up and keep you still while I continue hurting you, punctuating each sentence with a hard slap.  “This is what you deserve.  You’re a greedy little bitch, always whining that you want more.  Isn’t this what you want?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” you grunt through gritted teeth as another slap makes you shut your eyes tight against the pain.

I stop spanking you, lean over and spit directly on your hole, then run the tip of a finger gently over your entrance for a moment, but don’t put it inside.  I just keep rubbing it lightly over your puckered hole, teasing you with the touch, occasionally increasing the pressure enough to make you think I’m about to enter you, only to back off almost immediately.  I keep going, working you into a frenzied pile of want, laughing as you beg me to enter you.

Finally, when you’re whining and begging and babbling, barely coherent, I push a single finger inside, grinning as you push back against me, still wanting more.

“Such a greedy slut,” I say, chuckling as I finger you.

Then, after only a moment, I abruptly pull away from you, removing my finger.  You open your eyes, going still, and moan in frustration and want.

“Stay,” I command, then leave the room.

You take a deep breath, looking after me, and shift slightly.  Now that you’re alone, you become aware of the humiliating aspect of the position I’ve left you in.  Your head down, ass up, waiting for me to come back, and wondering what I’ll do with you.

You don’t have long to wait or wonder.  I return quickly, my strapped-on cock hard and rigid between my legs.

Without a word, I kneel behind you on the bed, press the tip of my cock against your hole, and enter you in one long, smooth motion, all the way to the hilt.

“Get on all fours,” I demand, and you quickly obey, putting your hands underneath you and pushing yourself up.  I immediately grab you by your collar and pull your head back, forcing you to arch your back as I begin a long, slow, thorough fucking.

“That’s my good boy,” I murmur as I slide almost all the way out of you before sinking all the way back in.  “This is what you want, isn’t it slut?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” you gasp between moans.  With your caged cock leaking and aching in its cage, the deep ache from previous beatings radiating warmly through your body, the sharp stinging on your ass from the belt and my hand, the combination of your hole stinging and being stretched wide open, and the smooth, steady rhythm of being fucked, all you can do is react.  You can’t put a coherent thought together, can’t focus on anything other than what I’m doing to you.

“Yes, you love this, don’t you?” I ask.  “You love having your sore hole stretched and filled.  I bet you wish my cock was bigger, don’t you?  Such a greedy slut.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Yes, Ma’am, what?”

“Yes, I love having my hole filled.  I love that you keep me sore, and I love being your greedy slut.”

“That’s my good boy.”

I speed up, slamming my cock into you, mercilessly pounding your aching hole until you’re gasping and whimpering and unconsciously pulling away, hoping I’ll stop.

But I don’t stop.  I tighten my grip on your collar, holding you against me as I continue fucking you.

“Stay still,” I command.  “Take it like a good little bitch.  If you do a good job, I’ll reward you later, before bed.”

You close your eyes and grit your teeth, tense and panting as I brutally fuck you, wanting more than anything to please me, to be a good boy, to take my cock because it’s what I want.  You have no idea how long I’ve been fucking you like this, and you have no idea how much longer it’ll be before I stop.  All you can do is endure.

Finally, I abruptly pull out of you and release my hold on your collar.  The movement is so sudden, you gasp with the surprise and have to catch your self from falling forward.  I walk into the next room, taking off the strap-on as I go.  Sighing, your hole stinging and throbbing, you collapse on your side on the bed, sweating and panting.  You close your eyes and wait for me to come back, wondering what I’ll do to you next.

A minute later, you feel me lying down behind you.  With a gentle, soft touch, I spread your cheeks and slowly push a thick plug inside of you, pausing for a moment at the point where it’s at its widest before sliding it all the way in.

With my other hand, I pull you close against me, gently licking and nibbling your ear as I slowly, tenderly pull the plug almost all the way back out and push it all the way back in.

“That’s a very good boy,” I whisper.  Then I sit up and turn the TV on while you curl up in my lap, spent and sated, the plug still inside you.

Strap-ons and Insertables

Domina Jen,

I love that you love pegging your subs.  But I don’t really understand why you like it.  It doesn’t give you any physical pleasure, does it?  I read that you use a strap-on harness instead of something strapless like a Feeldoe.  Why wouldn’t you want a Feeldoe?  Or any of the brands that can give you pleasure?  Why wouldn’t you want to enjoy yourself while you peg a sub?

I guess I just don’t really get the point if you don’t get any pleasure from it.  I don’t know if I would be comfortable being fucked by someone who wasn’t really enjoying themselves.

Thanks for your time.

Jeff

Well, Jeff…

Obviously you’ve read enough of my blog to gather that my strap-on isn’t “strapless.”  However, I’m not entirely sure how you can read that much of my blog and think I’m not thoroughly enjoying myself when I fuck my boys.

And interestingly enough, I’ve had three different conversations about this very subject in the past few weeks.

First of all, I do have a Feeldoe.  Specifically, I have this one.

Somewhere around my house.  I think it’s under my bathroom sink.  Or maybe it’s hidden in the back of my underwear drawer.  Or Kazander’s underwear drawer.  Or Kazander’s sock drawer.

I dunno

I dunno

I haven’t used it in a couple of years, and I have no real intention to use it anytime soon.

Don’t get me wrong.  It looks sexy as fuck when I’ve got it in, and I do like that I can “feel” Kazander’s ass more when I fuck him with it.

But I’ve got a couple of problems with it.

First of all, the bulb that goes inside is pretty damn big.  Like, to the point that putting it in and taking it out is a somewhat unpleasant experience.  Once it’s in, it’s comfortable enough, but putting it in and taking it out is a pain.  Literally.

Secondly, and most importantly, the damn thing doesn’t stay put.  I mean, I don’t have the problem that other women have of it falling out, I’m apparently too tight for that.  But it won’t stay in place.  It moves back and forth as I’m fucking.  It doesn’t have anything to brace against.  It just literally hangs between my legs.  So when I go to thrust, it just moves back.

I have to keep my thighs together to hold it in place.  Which doesn’t seem like a big deal, but if you’re a guy, try fucking someone, and keeping your legs pressed firmly together the whole damn time.  It’s fucking annoying.  I can’t really get into it, because every time I go to change position, I have to readjust the Feeldoe.

And I’m not the only one who experiences problems with the Feeldoe.  One of my boys showed me this article he found, talking about the problems women commonly have with it.  The Feeldoe just isn’t a feasible, realistic option for a woman into heavy strap-on play.  At least not on its own.

I’ve heard that you can use a harness to keep it in place.  And that’s all well and good.  Except my harness isn’t one that you can use the Feeldoe with.  And if I have to choose between my $150 Feeldoe and my $40 harness, I’ll take my harness every damn time.

I’m no stranger to strap-on harnesses.  Throughout the years, I’ve had and worn dozens, ranging from the cheapest of the cheap to more than $100.  I’ve tried the name brands and the no-name brands.

And the one I have now is the most comfortable, the easiest to put on and take off, the easiest to adjust, the easiest to maneuver when fucking, it’s just fucking awesome.

So I’m not in a huge rush to go through all that nonsense again to get a harness that can be worn with the Feeldoe.

For those that are interested, here’s my harness.  I bought it from one of the adult stores in town.  If you’re a BBW like I am, there does not exist a more amazing harness.

And in answer to your question, Jeff, no, I don’t get any physical pleasure from it.  There’s nothing inside me, nothing stimulates my clit while I fuck (and unless I’m fucking Kazander, I’m usually fully clothed, anyway).

But still, the comment you made about not enjoying myself and not seeing the point of it kind of hurts my head.

Like, I waited almost a week to answer this question, simply because I just didn’t know where to start.

First of all, I really, totally, completely, utterly, wholly, abso-fucking-lutely enjoy myself while I’m pegging my boys.  Hell, I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t enjoy it.  It’s one of my very favorite things to do.  I have trouble articulating just how hot it is, just how much I love it.

Why do I love it?  Lots of reasons.

First of all, when I’m in a session, I’m not focused on my own physical pleasure.  Like, at all.  And cue the collective gasps.

But I think a lot of people, both my friends and my readers, really underestimate the amount of pleasure I get from Dominating a boy.  When I’m in a session, my mind is on high alert, going a mile a minute, hyper-aware and unbelievably observant.  I’m constantly assessing and reassessing, my goals constantly changing with each new idea.

Those who have played with me more than once know well enough to cringe whenever I say, “Ooooh!”

That means I’ve just had a new awesome idea, a new thing I want to do to him.  And when it happens during a session, my boys know that they’re about to be pushed pretty far.

But I’m so excited about what I’m doing to my boy, I’m so unbelievably turned on by the squirming, the writhing, the moaning and begging, I don’t want it to end.  I want to take him deeper into subspace, I want to mold his headspace and his emotional state, I want to use a combination of mental/emotional manipulation and physical stimuli to keep him overwhelmed and rattled.  I want to break him, to destroy him, to beat and abuse him.

I want to do all of that, and I have an unbelievable amount of fun doing it.  So why would I want to stop all that and have him give me oral, and potentially completely derail the pace of the session?

Now, I should point out that, until I met Kazander, I couldn’t cum.  At all.  Ever.  I’d never had an orgasm.  I was 23 years old when I met him (I can’t remember how long after I met him that I had my first orgasm), and became sexually active at 14.

So for the first decade of my sexual life, orgasm wasn’t an option.  It just wasn’t.  There are a ton of theories why, and the vast majority of people I’ve told have had an opinion about why they think it wasn’t.  And every man I ever told took it as a challenge.  It was annoying, and I was tired of dealing with the teenage therapists and the big-headed boys who thought that the only reason I hadn’t orgasmed yet is because I hadn’t been with them.

I stopped telling people.  I was tired of the “you’re not having the right kind of sex” and the “you just haven’t found a skilled enough man” and all of that nonsense.  I started faking orgasms when I noticed that not being able to give a woman an orgasm really fucks with a lot of men, even though the woman is thoroughly enjoying herself.  And that irritated the hell out of me.  Like, I was quite obviously enjoying myself.  I was vocal during sex, I wanted it all the goddamn time, and I was hugely enthusiastic about it.  But because I couldn’t cum, quite a few guys freaked out, and acted like it was a blow to their manhood or some insecure macho bullshit (my opinion of men in general was pretty low in my late teens and early twenties.  I was wildly irresponsible with my boys and danced across that line between sane and stupid, mostly because I didn’t think enough of them to care about causing damage.  And part of the reason why I didn’t love the gender as a whole was because of the orgasm nonsense).  It was starting to interfere with my sex life, so I just faked it and called it a day.

And really, the absence of orgasms didn’t affect me.  At all.  I didn’t miss it.  I had never had one, so I didn’t know what I was missing.  I still felt satisfied and mellow after sex or oral.  I would have a boy give me oral for half an hour or so, or however long I wanted, then I’d fake an orgasm to make him stop, and then I’d roll over and go to sleep, completely relaxed and sated.  Even during sessions when I wasn’t touched at all, I was still having an obscene amount of fun, and my lust was insatiable.  So who the fuck cared that I couldn’t cum?  I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal for everyone else.  There was so much more to a session, so much more to sex than just cumming.

When I was 16, I started to explore BDSM.  So as I came into my own as a Dominant, my orgasm was never a priority.  Cumming was never a goal of mine.  My attitudes toward my sexuality, my kinks, my Dominance, and sex in general were colored by my inability to reach orgasm and my complete indifference to whether or not I’d ever have one.

When I finally came, I loved it, of course.  But my style, my preferences, my BDSM kinks and turn-ons/turn-offs had already had 8 years of development at that point.  I had a pretty good idea of who I was and what I liked.  The addition of orgasms didn’t really change that.

So today, nothing’s really changed.  I can cum, sure.  But I can cum on my own using a wand, and it feels just as good.  When I’m in a session, there’s just so much else going on that I’m so much more excited about.

And when I’m fucking a boy, I just throw myself into the moment.  I’m deep in that Dommespace, I’m hyper-aware and completely attuned to him and his reactions to what I’m doing to him.  It honestly doesn’t even occur to me to think about my own physical pleasure.  I’m just having too much fun in the moment.  I’m too revved up.  I don’t want to stop.

If someone is that hung up on whether or not I’m getting physical pleasure, that they “wouldn’t be comfortable” playing with me, a) that person obviously isn’t someone I’m interested in playing with, and b) that kinda sounds like they’re more concerned about their own comfort and enjoyment, rather than mine.

So you’re “not comfortable” unless I have specifically the kind of enjoyment you think I should have?  Um, no dear.  That’s not the way I work.

I do my sessions my way, the way I want.  I understand that it may be rather “different” for a Domme to not be focused on her own physical pleasure, but it’s important to remember that, just because I’m not focused on my physical pleasure doesn’t mean I’m not focused on my pleasure.

Experiment time

We’ve talked about kazander’s focus being on his dick before, and what sort of consequences that brings about, and how it affects him and his mindset.

And we addressed the fact that the majority of sexual attention I give him revolves around the dick.  And Hapa made a good point in saying,

“Repeated sex and penis centric attention fuels the alpha in me whereas chastity and non-penis centric sexual attention fuels my sub side. In sexual terms, relating to a man as though his only sexual organ is his ass instead of a penis knocks him squarely into subspace.”

So it got me curious.  What would happen if I completely ignored the dick, and make his ass the only source of sexual pleasure?  What kind of effect would that have on him?

For the record, since putting the contract in place, things have improved exponentially, and he’s been obeying the rules I’ve set out for him.  And he’s unbelievably eager to suck the strap-on every day.  I know the contract says he’s supposed to do it when he gets home from work (which implies weekdays, and not weekends), but I figured why not do it every day?  He certainly wasn’t complaining.

Which is awesome.  It’s been knocking him right into that slutty space, right where I want him.  And I’ve been fucking him and fingering his ass, as well, to really make sure he knows his place.  It’s been great.

But I’m a greedy bitch (we all know this).  I want more.

So for the next week, I’m not touching the dick at all.  100% of the sexual attention he receives will be focused on his ass (and his mouth, and the rest of his body).  I know I mentioned the maintenance edges, but that’s going to be put on hold for now, until the experiment is over.

I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of effect it has on him.  I’m already very happy with the improvements so far, and I’m excited to see how it goes, and if it takes him further into that space.

Butt-Sluts Anonymous

I happen to be a huge fan of anal play. There’s just something so thrilling about shoving something in a man’s ass. Strap-ons, butt plugs, dildos, vibrators, lit candles (and with that, I think I just figured out what I’m going to do to kazander tonight)… Anything that can be shoved up there, you can probably count on me to shove up there. What can I say? It’s fun.

Surprisingly enough, kazander was not always the butt-slut he is today. When we first met, he wasn’t particularly thrilled about anal play, but he was willing to tolerate it because I wanted it. Now, however, he loves it. He tries to deny it, but there have been occasions where he even begged for it. And it’s so awesome when he begs for something I was going to do anyway. So many possibilities.

It’s humiliating for him, too, which is all the more appealing. I love bending him over and fucking him like a bitch. It’s a definite psychological thrill. And it gives me all sorts of opportunities to say mean and cruel things to him. Ahh, I love that pillow-talk.