Murphy makes an appearance

Southern was back in town this week, so obviously I was eager to see him.  We had originally planned to have him come over to my house to play here, and I’d get to fuck his ass, which I haven’t been able to do since I moved back to Vegas.

But my recent hospital stay meant that Kazander’s parents came into town a couple of weeks early to help take care of the spawn, and we had no privacy.


But that was okay, we could do the same thing we did last time he was in town, and have a lot of fun.  I really enjoyed teasing him and being cruel to him, and was looking forward to doing it again.

So we were set to meet on Monday, and on Sunday night, I went to get the things I’d need together.  I grabbed the vibrating egg he’d gotten me, and the remote.  And just for fun, I decided to test it out.

The batteries were dead.

And of course, the toy doesn’t take AAs or AAAs.  It takes weird batteries that nobody sells.

I was supposed to meet him the next day, and we had no batteries.


But I figured, it’s the Strip.  People from all over the world come to the Strip.  There’s got to be a place in the mall we went to that would have the batteries we needed.

After walking the entire length of the mall, every floor, we were at a loss.  No one had even heard of the batteries we needed.  There was nothing we could do.

So we gave up, and arranged to meet for breakfast on Wednesday.  There’s a battery store in town, and I was planning on heading there Tuesday to pick up the batteries.  The store says they sell “every type of battery,” so we’d be fine.

And in the meantime, we decided to go to Chipotle for lunch.  Neither of us had been there before, so we were standing in line, looking up at the menu, and I discreetly reached down behind him, running my fingers down his ass, completely shattering his focus.  And of course, I did it just as he was about to give the lady his order.

I love the effect groping him has on him.  It completely derails his train of thought, completely destroys his concentration.  It’s beyond entertaining to do that to him in public, and watch him get all flushed and try to deal with it.  Watching him try to carry on a conversation with someone else is especially amusing.

And I hadn’t touched him up to that point, so it was completely unexpected, and totally threw him off guard.

Such a little thing, and it has such a big effect.

It’s addicting, it really is.

After lunch, I drove him back to the other mall on the Strip (I find it hilarious that he knows more about where things are on the Strip than I do, and I have to ask him for directions).  And once we got in the car, the groping continued.

He has this adorable habit of thrusting his hips whenever I play with his cock or his ass, and as we were driving, he was squirming all over the place.

I have to say, I didn’t mind the traffic in the least.

So I dropped him off and went home.  The next day, I went to the battery store, and was stunned to find out that they didn’t carry the batteries I needed.  They could order them, but they wouldn’t be in until Friday.


Every possible thing that could have gone wrong was going wrong.  It was unbelievably frustrating.

But we would still meet for breakfast.  I’d bring the egg with me, and at least he could have it inside him, even without it vibrating.  So I drove to the mall, met him, and we went into one of the family bathrooms.

The poor boy hasn’t had his ass played with in so long, and it was so very tight.  I’d thought about bringing a plug with me, but the only one I have that he’d be able to take has the habit of falling out of Kazander, and the mall just wasn’t the place for that particular experiment.

So I stuck with the egg.  But, as it turns out, Southern had forgotten just how big the egg is.  He was squirming and moaning, and I could tell he was seconds away from telling me to take it back out.

But I’m not the most patient of people.

I pushed it in, gently but quickly, before he had the chance to say anything.  He gasped, then sighed once it passed his entrance.  It was so cute.

While we were at breakfast, he said he could still feel it inside him, especially while he was sitting down, so that was good.  It’s still a bummer that I couldn’t use the remote, but it was better than nothing.

And that’s one thing I like about Southern.  He’s a fun toy to play with, and I love doing mean things to him, but we can sit and talk about anything and everything.  One moment, we could be talking about all of the kinky, twisted things I want to do to him, and in the next, we could be talking about music (we’re both musicians) or family or the economy or literally anything.

We finished breakfast, and we happened to be right next to a theater that he was going to see a show at later.  So we went to stand in line to get his ticket, and I took every advantage I could to discreetly grope and distract him.

And really, his reaction is so great, I just can’t help myself.  I feel like I have to do it.

He got the tickets, and we went back to the bathroom to take the egg out.  I knew it was going to be a little painful for him (he’d mentioned that he was mere seconds away from telling me that he needed a break when I put it in, confirming what I thought).  So I decided to use the Band-Aid approach and pull it out smoothly and quickly.

He damn near screamed, and it was awesome.

We got in the car and took the scenic route back to his hotel, to give us time to grope some more in the car.  I found a somewhat secluded corner of the mall parking garage, parked, and played with him a bit.

Man, I want to do mean things to his cock.  It’s so pretty, I want to hurt it.

But he needed to get back, so I drove him to his hotel, dropped him off, and went home.

It was so great being able to see him again, especially so soon.  He usually only comes to Vegas once a year.  But next time, I’ll make sure that I have batteries a couple of weeks before he gets here.  If we can’t swing a private place to ourselves, I’ll at least be able to use that on him again.

Blast From the Past

Alright, so I feel like I should be on an episode of House.  I’ve apparently got some crazy, exotic, rare disease that no one can figure out (don’t worry, I’m not contagious, they checked for all of those).

I’m home, with an appointment to see a lung specialist, a blood specialist, an infectious disease specialist (because of the unexplainable [why does WordPress’ client say that’s spelled wrong?  It’s not spelled wrong] absurdly high white blood cell count, not because of something gross, like the words “infectious disease” tend to imply).  Oh, and then I’ve got to see a psychiatrist, just for the fuck of it, apparently.  I know there’s a list somewhere of kink-friendly medical professionals, including psychiatrists, but I want to find the most conservative, vanilla one in town.  That’ll be a fucking entertaining hour, and totally worth the $20 copay.

So I got home on Saturday, slept for 29 hours, and feel a hell of a lot better.  Hospitals tend to not understand the concept of sleep deprivation.

And what did I find in my Fetlife inbox upon waking up?  A message entitled, “I know I’m the last one you want to talk to.”

Ooooh, this could be entertaining.

Then I saw who sent it.

Well, hello again, Ash.  Dammit, and I thought it would be some crazy, interesting, juicy drama.

Miss Jen,

Because I flaked twice already but I now have a disciplinarian but she lives in Canada. She is trying to find someone to help carry out punishments. Is there any chance you’d consider talking to me again?

I see I even made your blog and that you were looking forward to me serving you until I flaked.

Please let me know if you will hear me out

Oh yeah, because messaging me out of the blue after two years to ask me for something is a great way to get what you want.

And mentioning the blog, and that I was looking forward to him serving me was supposed to serve what purpose, exactly?  Sure, I was looking forward to it.  He’s hot, insanely tall, and made great noises when I did mean things him.  Oh, and he was going to pay me.  Uh, yeah I was looking forward to it.

The sky is blue.  I’m bored with this conversation.  Men who message me out of the blue, asking for shit, are idiots.

Wait, are we not pointing out obvious things?  I thought that’s what we were doing.  Are we not doing that?


I thought about ignoring him, but I couldn’t help it.  I replied.  But hey, I was nice-ish.

Three times. You’ve flaked three times.

And what exactly are you asking me to do? To randomly punish someone I don’t own based on rules that someone else laid out? To do the grunt work for someone who lives in another country? To do all the work and get none of the benefit?

Yeah, I’m not hugely eager to do that. Particularly with you. I’ve got 3 reliable subs now. Any free time I have, I’d rather spend with them. And I’m not about be at the beck and call of another Dominant thousands of miles away.

And yeah, I was looking forward to you serving me. But the same thing happened that’s happened every other time. You flaked. On top of that, you got all butthurt when you weren’t the center of my world. And when I didn’t “discipline” you exactly the way you wanted. I’m a Dominant. Not your personal fetish delivery system. You serve me. Not the other way around.

So no thanks, I’d rather not.

Pretty clear, right?  Pretty cut-and-dry, yes?  Precision of language, and all that?

This was his reply.

Fair enough. I just was hoping you’d give me a few minutes to talk with you. Like 15 minutes to lay out what she had in mind.

I’m sorry I flaked. I got scared and was immature. Hopefully at the very least you forgive me for that

First of all, there’s nothing to forgive.  I’m not angry with him, I don’t hate him.  I haven’t even thought about him in two years.

Secondly, didn’t I just say no?  That I’m not interested?  That I have no desire to get in the middle of their two-week-old relationship?

Didn’t that happen?  I mean, I know I’ve been on a surprising amount of medication, but I could’ve sworn that happened.

An hour later, I guess he decided he didn’t want to wait for me to say no again.  He wrote another message.

She’s going to put me in chastity, make me wear panties 247, and make me into a sissy turning my bottom hole into a vagina.

She wants me to follow rules and then wants someone to come over and do the physical punishments. Id be allowed to serve them domestically as well as worship them sexually as well.

If you aren’t interested which you made clear you are not would you be able to advise me how to approach someone about this? Or am I looking for something that isn’t possible.


Why are you still talking?

Okay, dude….

Seriously, first of all,  he lives here.  Vegas is nowhere near the Canadian border.

So he entered into a disciplinarian “relationship” where the discipline can’t be enforced in any way?  She can’t punish him, she can’t enforce the rules she sets out for him (and he has been known to be disobedient).  There’s absolutely nothing she can do.  So being in a relationship with her still requires being with someone local.

How is that supposed to work?  Logistically, I mean.  What was the thought process behind that?  Behind entering into a remote disciplinarian relationship, a dynamic based solely on a metric fuckton of rules and a level of control I don’t even exert over my collared submissives, much less someone who doesn’t wear my collar?  Who thought that was a good idea?

Now, I’m a possessive Dominant.  My boys are mine.  I’ll often have them play with others, but on my terms, and I’m still in control of the situation.  Every other Domme I’ve played with has known this, has known that the boy we’re playing with is mine, and that my word is goddamn law when it comes to what happens to him during the session.  And it’s the same with me when I’m playing with someone else’s sub.  It’s one of those unwritten rules between Dominants.  You don’t fuck with things that don’t belong to you.

So the idea of entering into a relationship in which I’d have to rely on someone else to do 98% of the interaction would bother the fuck out of me.  I wouldn’t want him submitting on a regular basis to someone who is not me.  I sure as hell wouldn’t want to enter into a situation where that is not only encouraged, but required by the specific dynamic.

And yeah, I’m kind of thinking he’s asking for something impossible.  I sure as hell don’t know any Domme who would want to do all the grunt work, doing exactly as she’s told by another Dominant, basically being nothing but a fetish delivery system for someone else.  She can’t make any decisions, she can’t use her own judgement to guide or correct him, she can’t change or adjust his rules, she basically can’t do a damn thing without getting the okay from his Owner.

Granted, I obviously don’t speak for every Dominant woman in Vegas, but I know a few of them, and there isn’t a single one I can think of that would be okay with a situation like that.  I mean, domestic and sexual service is all well and good, but you can’t develop a relationship with a submissive that belongs to someone else, where someone else dictates what your relationship can and cannot be.

Who would want that?  Especially when, as a Dominant woman, you can get sexual and domestic service basically at the drop of a hat.

And then, of course, there’s the fact that this guy is a proven flake.  Who would want to waste their time with someone who is, in all likelihood, going to flake out again?

So, my dear Ash, no, I am not going to help you approach other women with this ridiculous little proposal.  I think you were an idiot to enter into a relationship like this to begin with.  I do not have the words to adequately express how little I care about your situation and your dynamic.

I also do not have the words to adequately express how thankful I am that my number has been changed since the last time we chatted.  Oh, but every message or email you send me will be posted here on the blog and publicly ridiculed (because really, you just make it too easy).  So have fun, and I’m sure we’ll talk again in another year or two, when you’re still single and unable to find what you’re looking for.  No reason to deviate from the current pattern, right?  It’s worked so well for us for the past what, six years?  Wow, almost seven years.  Almost as long as the average American marriage.

Is it just me, or is that “Definition of Insanity” cliche getting harder and harder to resist quoting?

Home Early

I come home from a night out with friends and walk into the bedroom to find you lying on the bed, wearing nothing but a cage and your collar.  You smile up at me.

“Did you have fun?”

“I did,” I reply.  “I had a lot of fun.”

“Then why did you come home so early?”

My grin widens and my eyes darken.  It’s a look that you’ve seen many times before, but no matter how many times you see it, it still makes your heart jump and sends chills down your spine.

I approach and I straddle you, one knee on either side of you on the bed.  You reach up to touch me, but I grab both of your wrists and pin them against your chest with one hand.  My other hand goes to your neck, effectively pinning you beneath me, pinning you against the bed.

“There’s something else I’d rather do,” I murmur, leaning close to kiss you.  I take your bottom lip between my teeth and bite down hard, until you’re gasping and whimpering into my mouth.

I devour your mouth, drinking in your moans and frustrated whines as your cock swells inside its cage, aching to be let out.  Then, I turn your head to the side and kiss my way along your jaw, up your neck, and to your ear.  Gently at first, I take your lobe between my teeth.

You begin squirming as my touch sends chills down your spine.

Your reactions fuel my lust, and I rise off of you, rolling you over on the bed, demanding that you get on all fours, your head down and ass up.  Without a word, I pull my thin leather belt off, fold it in half, and bring it down across your ass.

You gasp and tense, but in the next second, you exhale in relief as you realize I could’ve hit you a lot harder.

Your relief is short-lived, however.  Almost immediately after the first, I deliver five more, much, much harder.  Only a short pause, and then another five.

“Aww, does that hurt?” I ask sweetly, running the very tips of my fingers lightly over the stinging, reddening skin of your ass.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“My poor boy,” I reply, somewhat absently, as I examine the marks I’ve left on you, my eyes trailing up your body, at the half-healed welts and bruises from previous beatings.  I don’t have to ask, I know your asshole is still sore from the beating and thorough fucking you’d gotten this morning.

But it isn’t nearly sore enough.  I bring my hand down hard against your hole, spanking you without pause until you’re squirming and writhing.

“That’s my good little slut,” I murmur, using my other hand around your waist to hold you up and keep you still while I continue hurting you, punctuating each sentence with a hard slap.  “This is what you deserve.  You’re a greedy little bitch, always whining that you want more.  Isn’t this what you want?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” you grunt through gritted teeth as another slap makes you shut your eyes tight against the pain.

I stop spanking you, lean over and spit directly on your hole, then run the tip of a finger gently over your entrance for a moment, but don’t put it inside.  I just keep rubbing it lightly over your puckered hole, teasing you with the touch, occasionally increasing the pressure enough to make you think I’m about to enter you, only to back off almost immediately.  I keep going, working you into a frenzied pile of want, laughing as you beg me to enter you.

Finally, when you’re whining and begging and babbling, barely coherent, I push a single finger inside, grinning as you push back against me, still wanting more.

“Such a greedy slut,” I say, chuckling as I finger you.

Then, after only a moment, I abruptly pull away from you, removing my finger.  You open your eyes, going still, and moan in frustration and want.

“Stay,” I command, then leave the room.

You take a deep breath, looking after me, and shift slightly.  Now that you’re alone, you become aware of the humiliating aspect of the position I’ve left you in.  Your head down, ass up, waiting for me to come back, and wondering what I’ll do with you.

You don’t have long to wait or wonder.  I return quickly, my strapped-on cock hard and rigid between my legs.

Without a word, I kneel behind you on the bed, press the tip of my cock against your hole, and enter you in one long, smooth motion, all the way to the hilt.

“Get on all fours,” I demand, and you quickly obey, putting your hands underneath you and pushing yourself up.  I immediately grab you by your collar and pull your head back, forcing you to arch your back as I begin a long, slow, thorough fucking.

“That’s my good boy,” I murmur as I slide almost all the way out of you before sinking all the way back in.  “This is what you want, isn’t it slut?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” you gasp between moans.  With your caged cock leaking and aching in its cage, the deep ache from previous beatings radiating warmly through your body, the sharp stinging on your ass from the belt and my hand, the combination of your hole stinging and being stretched wide open, and the smooth, steady rhythm of being fucked, all you can do is react.  You can’t put a coherent thought together, can’t focus on anything other than what I’m doing to you.

“Yes, you love this, don’t you?” I ask.  “You love having your sore hole stretched and filled.  I bet you wish my cock was bigger, don’t you?  Such a greedy slut.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Yes, Ma’am, what?”

“Yes, I love having my hole filled.  I love that you keep me sore, and I love being your greedy slut.”

“That’s my good boy.”

I speed up, slamming my cock into you, mercilessly pounding your aching hole until you’re gasping and whimpering and unconsciously pulling away, hoping I’ll stop.

But I don’t stop.  I tighten my grip on your collar, holding you against me as I continue fucking you.

“Stay still,” I command.  “Take it like a good little bitch.  If you do a good job, I’ll reward you later, before bed.”

You close your eyes and grit your teeth, tense and panting as I brutally fuck you, wanting more than anything to please me, to be a good boy, to take my cock because it’s what I want.  You have no idea how long I’ve been fucking you like this, and you have no idea how much longer it’ll be before I stop.  All you can do is endure.

Finally, I abruptly pull out of you and release my hold on your collar.  The movement is so sudden, you gasp with the surprise and have to catch your self from falling forward.  I walk into the next room, taking off the strap-on as I go.  Sighing, your hole stinging and throbbing, you collapse on your side on the bed, sweating and panting.  You close your eyes and wait for me to come back, wondering what I’ll do to you next.

A minute later, you feel me lying down behind you.  With a gentle, soft touch, I spread your cheeks and slowly push a thick plug inside of you, pausing for a moment at the point where it’s at its widest before sliding it all the way in.

With my other hand, I pull you close against me, gently licking and nibbling your ear as I slowly, tenderly pull the plug almost all the way back out and push it all the way back in.

“That’s a very good boy,” I whisper.  Then I sit up and turn the TV on while you curl up in my lap, spent and sated, the plug still inside you.

Contestant #2

I’m still on the fence about the nerd.  We haven’t played since the session where he told me forced bi is a limit.  Part of that is because he had a family thing that took up most of his time this week, and part of that is because I still don’t know what I’m going to do with him.

I mean, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, here.  It could just be nerves, after all.  The boy is brand-spanking-new (see what I did there?) and it’s a lot to take in for a newbie.

And he really is so adorable.  His little mewling cries, his gasping, whimpering moans, the way he grinds against the dildo when I fuck him….  Freaking adorable.  I don’t want to have to let him go.

So I haven’t really made any decisions about that.  But on Saturday night, zane came over, and I got to play with him for the first time.

And you know what?  I think I’ll be okay even if I have to let go of the nerd.

I knew zane was into bondage, forced femme, humiliation, and forced bi.  He didn’t have much experience with anal, other than the random self-fingering on occasion, so I knew I’d have to start small.

He came over, we went to the bedroom, and I told him to strip.  And once I saw him without his clothes on, I immediately knew that humiliation wouldn’t be the least bit difficult with him.

As I said before, he’s a good-looking guy.  Well-groomed, well-dressed, well-spoken.  A little on the chubby side, but still attractive.

But dude, his dick!

It was tiny.  Laughably tiny.  The smallest I’ve ever seen in person.  Like, whoa.

Small-penis-humiliation it is, then.

I had him stand in the center of the room, naked, his hands behind his back, while I walked around him, inspecting my new toy.  When I trailed my fingertips across his butt, he let out this soft, shuddering gasp that made me instantly wet.  So I tied him spread-eagle to the bed and just spent a few minutes lightly trailing my fingers across his body, talking to him and watching him tremble.

Then, I took a short length of rope and tied it tightly around his dick and balls.  By that time, I was just aching to put something inside him, so I got the smallest vibrator I own and lubed it up.  I fingered him for a bit, first, and I loved his reaction.

He didn’t moan (actually, he hardly made any noise at all, through the entire session) but he gasped and started writhing a bit as I slowly fingered him.  I gave him a moment to adjust to being penetrated for maybe the fourth time in his life, and certainly the first time by someone else, and then pressed the tip of the dildo against his hole.

God, he was so nervous!  It was so cute.  As I started sliding the vibe inside him, he gasped again and arched his back, pulling on the cuffs that held him down.  It was freaking adorable.

So I fucked him for a bit, then left the vibe inside him and moved on to the whartenburg wheel, vampire gloves, and nipple clamps.  A little pain is good for the soul, after all.

After a few minutes of that, I reached back down to the vibe and turned it on low.  I guess he didn’t realize that it vibrated.  He was completely startled by it, and it elicited one of the very few moans I got from him throughout the night.  Again, I spent a few minutes giving him a slow, thorough fucking.

But then, I figured his ass would probably need a break.  He was still practically a virgin, after all.  So I took the vibe out, untied him, and tossed him a pair of panties to put on.  I spent some time verbally humiliating him, calling him a girl’s name, reaching into his panties to rub his “clit,” or reaching further down to finger his pussy, and grabbing his tits.  I made him kneel down and kiss my feet, taking the opportunity to reach over and play with his ass some more.

Then, I buckled a collar around his neck and attached a chain with two wrist cuffs and two ankle cuffs attached to it.  It’s great for hogtying, but I used it in the front, cuffing his hands and ankles and effectively forcing him into a fetal position.  I did some spanking, some mild CBT, and then put the vibe back inside him and turned it on as high as it would go, alternating between fucking him with it and spanking him.

I was surprised, though.  I was expecting his ass to be sore by that point, but it wasn’t.  So I left it in and grabbed my vibrating wand, pressing it against his dick.  He immediately started writhing and panting, but I kept asking him questions, making him answer, keeping him distracted and not allowing him to lose himself in the pleasure.  I asked him about his previous play experiences, about the cocks that he’s sucked, I asked him if any woman had ever laughed at his pitiful dick, etc.  I only meant to edge him, but as it turned out, I gave him a ruined orgasm.  Oops.

But I wasn’t done with him yet.  After humiliating him for cumming in his panties, I started playing with the super-sensitive head until he was begging me to stop.  Then I flipped him over, so he was on his knees, ass in the air, and face down on the bed.  He was still cuffed, so he couldn’t move.  I pushed his panties down, and started fucking him again.  And he was doing much better than I anticipated, so I moved up to my next-size-up dildo and put that in him and fucked him for awhile.  He was still doing great, so I decided to try my strap-on (which I didn’t think he’d be able to take for at least a few weeks).

But he took that one like a champ, too.  So, to reward him for being such a good butt slut, I grabbed the wand again and held it against his dick while I fucked his ass.  He came in less than a minute.

And then he collapsed, falling onto his side, panting and breathing hard, goosebumps all over his arms, legs, chest, and butt.  I took the dildo out of him, untied him, and spent a few minutes running my fingers through his hair as he recovered.  I gave him some water and let him get dressed.

He was adorable.  He said he felt like his whole body was buzzing, and he had some trouble remaining upright.  I asked if he was okay to drive, and when he didn’t answer right away, I told him to sit back down and hang out for a minute.  So we chatted.  I asked him what his favorite part was, and he said it was having the vibe in his ass and on his dick at the same time.  His least favorite was adjusting to each new toy as I pushed it in.  But he was surprised when I showed him my strap-on.  He didn’t realize he’d taken something that big.

It took almost twenty minutes before he felt up for driving, so I walked him to his car, gave him a hug, and sent him on his way with strict orders to text me so I’d know he got home okay.  And he did, because he’s a good girl.

I can’t wait to play with him again.

Well, dammit

The nerd came back over last night.  Due to both of us being supremely busy this past week, this was only the second time we’ve been able to play.

Still, it was fun.  I pushed his limits a little further than last time.  I started out by tying him spread-eagle to the bed and fingering his ass a little bit.  He was still super enthusiastic about anything having to do with anal, and that was totally fine by me.

I tied him down on his back, and made him look me in the eye as I fingered him.  He’s still practically a virgin, so he was unbelievably tight, and it didn’t take much to elicit a sexy reaction from him.  Within minutes, he was panting and gasping, and I was loving every minute of it.  It’s still such a novel thing for me, for it to take so little to get him going.  What kazander and I consider a good warm-up is about all he can handle.

So after a little bit of fingering, I switched to his vibe.  He tensed and arched his back as I slid it in.  Even as slender as the thing is, it’s still a bit much for him.  So I took it slow.  Sure, I love causing pain, but I want him to enjoy anal.  There’s plenty else I can do to cause him some pain.

Once it was all the way in, I left it there, without turning it on, and found other ways to amuse myself.  The wartenberg wheel was pretty fun, especially around his groin.  When I ran it lightly over his balls or up and down his shaft, he’d gasp and hold his breath, his entire body tense and his hands balled into fists.

Freaking adorable.

I also introduced him to my flogger, using it just a bit on his inner thighs, just enough to leave a few nice red marks, and make him squirm a bit.

I always love tying a boy spread-eagle on the bed, because they just look so cute when they squirm in their bonds.  It’s hard to explain, but just the way they writhe, the way their legs bend and tense as they twist their bodies, the way their hands ball into fists, the way they try so hard to bring their limbs together, trying to protect themselves…

God, that’s the best.  And the nerd certainly didn’t disappoint.  He’s just so adorable, and so little!  I didn’t realize that he’s so much shorter than I am.  I’m not insanely tall, at 5’9″, but I’d worn heels both when I first met him, and when we played the first time, so I couldn’t accurately judge.  But this time, I was barefoot, and when he took his shoes off, and I approached him, I saw that I’m a good half a head taller than he is.

So he’s significantly shorter than I am (I’m guessing 5’5″, maybe 5’6″), he’s only 23 (a baby!), he’s unbelievably shy (so cute!) and he just has this adorable, lost-puppy type of face.  God, I just want to chain him to the foot of my bed and keep him as my pet.  Maybe even give him a butt-plug tail.

Yeah, that would be awesome….

Anyway, where was I?

Ah, spread-eagle.  Right.

So after the flogger, I turned the vibe on medium and started fucking him with it.  And the way he writhed was just freaking awesome.  He was panting and moaning and straining against the cuffs, my panties were immediately soaked.

I untied him and told him to get on all fours on the edge of the bed.  He’s not ready for my strap-on (dammit) so I had to settle for holding the vibe in place with one hand, and using the other to grab his hip as I thrust into him.

And wow, he loved that.  That was the least shy I’d ever seen him.  He went nuts, pushing back against the vibe, rocking his body back and forth so I’d fuck him even faster, mewling and moaning like he’d been fucked a hundred times before.  There was nothing shy or reserved about him.

Like, whoa.

At one point, I reached down and gripped his dick, playing with it a bit while I fucked him.  And within seconds, he’d reached the edge, and I had to stop.  He was totally, completely loving every moment of it.

But after awhile, it started to get to be too much for him, and I saw him starting to wince in pain.  I wasn’t done with his ass by a long shot, so I decided to give him a little bit of a break.  There was no reason to push him to the point where it would be too much.  Not yet, anyway.

So I went back to the flogger, letting him deal with the pain of that.  My flogger is leather, and rather thin, so it’s light and stingy, and it doesn’t take much to leave little red marks.  So I spent a few minutes testing his pain threshold, bringing him to a few more edges, and verbally humiliating him.

But there was something else I was eager to try, something he’d mentioned the day after our first play, so I tied him back down and blindfolded him.

I knew he was ticklish from our first time playing.  But he told me that having his nipples licked was actually his biggest weakness as far as being ticklish goes.

Go figure, right?  But I was definitely going to take advantage of that.  He’s not a masochist, and I wanted to bring him to the point where he’s profusely begging for mercy.

So I went to it.  Since he was blindfolded, he had no idea it was coming, and his reaction was everything I’d hoped it would be, and more.  I combined that with reaching across and tickling his sides, and that was just all kinds of awesome.  I loved it.  It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to play with an extremely ticklish sub.  It’s something I plan on taking advantage of quite often in the future.

I gave him a break, and turned my attention back to his ass.  I used another toy on him, a soft rubber one with balls that start small and gradually get bigger.  He can handle all but the biggest relatively easily.  I pushed the biggest one into him without any hesitation.

He was panting and squirming, trying his best to handle it.  I said, “Aw, what’s the matter?  Does it hurt?”

He said, “Yes.”

“A lot?”


“Would you like a distraction?”

He was about to ask me what I meant, but I started tickling him again and he lost all ability to speak.  And tickling him with the toy all the way inside him was even better.

Still tickling him, I reached over with one hand and started jerking him off.  It took literally seconds for him to reach the edge, but this time I told him to cum.

And good God, he made a mess.  Ah, the benefits of youth.

It was at this point I discovered another weakness, quite by accident.  Of course, most men are incredibly sensitive after they cum, which is awesome, and something I enjoy taking advantage of.  But he’s more sensitive than most, and when I rubbed the head of his dick, he went nuts.  It was amazing, and I spent a few minutes doing that before finally letting him relax, removing the toy and blindfold, and uncuffing him.

So all in all, it was fun.  But today, while we were texting, something rather disappointing came up.

Forced bi is a hard limit.

Well, dammit.

That’s the whole reason I started looking for a sub.  I wanted to add another boy to my marriage, and Dominate the two of them together.  My fetlife profile explicitly states that I am not even a little bit interested in straight men, or men with forced bi as a hard limit.  And in all of our conversations, he said that it was something he was willing to try.

So part of me was pissed that he changed his mind.  But I took a moment and thought about it.  He’s brand-new, after all, and really doesn’t know what he likes.  Sure, when he had absolutely zero experience, the idea of it may have been hot.  But now that he’s gotten his toes wet, he has a little bit better idea what he can and cannot tolerate.  So I expected his interests to change.  I just didn’t think it would change that quickly, and without even trying it (throughout all of our conversations, he kept saying he was willing to try anything once).

He said it’s something he’s not mentally ready for, which leads me to hope that he’ll eventually get there.   So I’ll give him a few months, and hope it happens.  If it doesn’t, I’m going to have to let him go, which I really don’t want to do.  He’s pretty much perfect in every other way, but if he can’t/won’t do forced bi, then that means I’ll have to get another sub for it, and I just can’t have three subs right now.  That’s too much.

I still have the other sub I’m looking at, zane, and am planning on playing with him sometime next weekend.  And zane has enough experience to know, without a doubt, that forced bi is absolutely doable.  So if the nerd doesn’t work out, I still have options.

I really hope the nerd works out, though.  I don’t want to have to let him go.  I think he’d be a perfect fit for what I want, and I think, once he gets over his shyness and kazander’s overall intimidating nature, he and kazander will get along pretty well.  I’m definitely keeping my fingers crossed.

Taking the Nerd’s Virginity

The Nerd came over last night.  And holy-fucking-glow-in-the-dark-ass-implants, Batman.

I knew this was his first time, and that he was nervous as hell, so I decided I was going to completely capitalize on that nervousness.  I wore my black thigh-high stockings, a sheer, thigh-length camisole, and my black over-bust corset over that.  With black pumps, of course.

I looked damn good.  And scary for a new sub, which was an awesome bonus.  Kazander certainly approved of the way I looked.

It was adorable how eager the Nerd was.  He got here and I immediately brought him into the bedroom and told him to take off his clothes.  So he was standing there, naked, and rock-hard, hairless, and trembling.

And I already knew he was cute.  But seeing him naked, I was reminded that he’s actually really good-looking.  Slender, but not scrawny, around my height (he was actually a smidge shorter than me, but I was wearing the heels), with black hair and a sweet, innocent face.

Yes please, and thank-you-very-much.

I made him stand there for a minute, while I walked around him, inspecting my new toy and loving what I was seeing.  He shuddered a bit when I ran my nails down his back, over his butt, and when I reached lower, to tease his asshole a bit, I heard that soft gasp that I love so freaking much.

I made him bend over and teased him some more, alternating between playing with his ass and his balls.  Really, all I wanted to do was grab him by his hair, pin him down on the bed, and fuck him brainless with the strapon, but I knew I had to take things slow.

And I knew the strapon would be too big for him.  It’s not for beginners, and especially not for virgins.  So that would have to wait.


But still, I had a wide array of toys I could use on him, and I was excited about it.

I have one of those under-the-bed restraint systems, so I had him lie on his back, spread-eagle, and tied his hands down.  I didn’t cuff his ankles, because I needed them up and bent, so I could get easier access to his ass.  I decided not to blindfold him yet.  No, I wanted to see his face when I took his virginity.

First, I just slid a lubed-up finger inside him.  He held my gaze as I fingered him, moaning softly and squirming all over the place.  He was so tight, it was unbelievable.  I’ve gotten so used to kazander, who is well acquainted with ass play, it was actually a little surprising, how much tighter the Nerd was.

I fingered him for a bit, using my other hand to edge him a couple of times (the first of many), then switched to the vibe he bought when I took him to the store.

It was bigger than my fingers, so I needed to go slow.  I lubed it up well, positioned it at his entrance, and started easing it in.

I can’t lie… There was a big part of me that just wanted to ram it in, to completely and utterly violate him, to absolutely degrade him.  The temptation was strong.

But I want him to enjoy anal.  I want him to enjoy and crave being filled, being fucked, being used.  And with what I knew of his personality, I needed to go slow with him to achieve that goal.  I needed to be gentle.

So I was.  I slid it in slowly, giving him time to adjust.  He was breathing hard and gasping, still moaning and squirming in that delicious way of his.  Finally, it was all the way in, and I started caressing his chest and stomach, giving him a moment to get used to the fact that he was being penetrated for the first time in his life.

And the look on his face as he looked up at me, the vulnerability, nervousness, desire, pain, humiliation, and trust there, was insane.  I was already dripping wet, and we were barely fifteen minutes into our play.

Then, after a moment, I reached down and turned the vibe on, setting it to a medium speed.  And his reaction was priceless.  His eyes widened, he gasped, his whole body tensed up, and he started writhing slowly on the bed, grinding his butt into the mattress.

He wanted to be fucked.

And who am I to deny such a sweet little thing what he wanted?

So I gripped the end of the vibe and started fucking him with it, pushing it in as far as it would go, then pulling it almost all the way back out.  I went slowly, letting him savor the experience, letting him savor the sensation.  It was a long, slow, thorough fucking, and he was going nuts.

After a few minutes, I left the vibe to continue whirring away inside him, and turned my attention elsewhere.  I put on my vampire gloves and ran them across his chest, ribs, stomach, and thighs.  Mostly, I was gentle with them, but of course there was the occasional slap to his thigh, or reaching down to cup his ass cheek tightly, or pressing a fingertip to his nipples, balls, or shaft.

Next came the Whartenburg Wheel, which got some nice, shivery reactions from him.

By this time, he was actually getting pretty overwhelmed, and I had to remind myself that he’s completely new, completely inexperienced, and while he wasn’t a total virgin, he hadn’t been with a lot of women, either.  I needed to take things slow. What kazander and I would consider a great warm-up was about all he could handle.

So I didn’t take it much farther than that.  About an hour after we started, I grabbed my vibrating wand and held it to his dick, while turning the vibe inside him all the way up, as high as it would go.

It took less than a minute.  He came all over the place, and I gently pulled the vibe out of him, handed him a towel, and gave him some time to recover.  It was his first play session, and his first experience with the sub drop that sometimes comes afterwards, and seemed a little worried.  I explained that he’d just pretty much exhausted his body’s supply of adrenaline, endorphins, and seratonin.  It’s normal to feel a little “off” afterwards.

So I sat with him for about twenty minutes after the session was over, just chatting and letting him recover.  Once he was feeling a bit more steady, I walked him out, gave him a hug, and sent him on his way.

And I’ll have to be honest, I was half-expecting to run damage-control with kazander after the Nerd left.  It had been my first time playing with another sub since the very earliest days of our relationship, and while we had both talked about it, and agreed to it, I didn’t know how he was going to react.

So I was prepared for anger, or hurt feelings, or jealousy, or anything like that.

Instead, when I approached him on the couch, he leaned forward, grabbed my panties in his teeth, and pulled them off of me (I should say, I was ridiculously wet at this point, and the panties were soaked).

Well, okay then.  I can definitely work with that.

I took my cue from him and grabbed him by his hair, pulling his head back and shoving the wettest part of the panties in his mouth, making him taste it.  I leaned over and whispered, “How does it feel, knowing it was someone else who got me this wet?”

He didn’t answer with words, but his dick jumped immediately to attention, and he melted into that mushy, squishy pile of subby goo that I love so much.  He and I played for a bit, and he gave me oral, and then we went to bed.

It was a fucking awesome night.

Humiliation. And calligraphy, because I’m classy like that

Last night, kazander’s sub was supposed to come over, and he’d had a rough day at work, and he wasn’t caged, so he was in full-fledged assertive-man mode.  I was horny and stressed out, and had completely forgotten that she was supposed to come over.  I was a little bummed, but he’d asked me almost a week ago, and I’d said it was fine.  I’m not about to go back on my word. Continue reading