Changes an’ Such

A few things have changed. First of all, kazander and I got married in November. The venue was disorganized and awful, but we had a lot of fun. People still give us compliments on the ceremony. We happen to be friends with an awesome officiant (can we say “friendship discount,” everyone?), who is also a part of the local BDSM community. That’s how we met him, as a matter of fact. He’s also known us for almost as long as we’ve been together, so he knows us so well as a couple. Continue reading

Questions 4

Dear Domina,

I’ve known for a long time that I want to be humiliated and treated like nothing. I’ve talked to my wife about it in passing once or twice, but she hasn’t really shown any interest in exploring that, so I haven’t pressed. But now the craving for that kind of thing is getting more intense. How can I get her interested in being my Mistress?

Signed,
Wanting Abuse
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Reality as a Domme

There are two areas of life in particular that I want an equal partner, not a sub. Those are work/finances, and family/raising kids. The decision to have kazander work while I stay home with the baby was one we came to together, after a lot of negotiating and communication. And I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I refuse to meddle with family and work.

So yesterday, when I was granted a brief reprieve by the gods of porcelain I had worshipped all that morning and the previous night, I asked him to come home from work early and take care of the kid so I could wallow in my misery. I didn’t demand it of him. And if he had said no, then I would have dealt with it and not been angry with him.

Luckily, his boss is also a mom, and understood completely. He was able to come home after making sure the guys working underneath him had everything they needed to finish what needed to be done that day, and I was given relief from parental duties.

There are some in the D/s community who find my relationship with kazander odd, mostly because they find out that I do ALL housework in my home. Kazander has not had to lift a finger to clean something since Monkey was born. To this day, he still hasn’t changed a diaper. So many people find it strange that, as the Dominant in a D/s relationship, I do all of the housework. Some have even gone as far as to say I’m not a real Dominant because I don’t make him clean the kitchen wearing nothing but a thong and a ball gag.

Fortunately for myself, I’ve never really cared about what other people think. Other people tend to be stupid. I’ve got a relationship dynamic that serves me and kazander both. I get what I want, and kazander is kept satisfied as well (unless I decide deliberately not to satisfy him, of course).