Changes an’ Such

A few things have changed. First of all, kazander and I got married in November. The venue was disorganized and awful, but we had a lot of fun. People still give us compliments on the ceremony. We happen to be friends with an awesome officiant (can we say “friendship discount,” everyone?), who is also a part of the local BDSM community. That’s how we met him, as a matter of fact. He’s also known us for almost as long as we’ve been together, so he knows us so well as a couple. Continue reading

Ask a Domina

Hi there,
I’ve had a cuckold fetish for a long time, but I’m trying to understand why. What is it about a woman forcing another man’s huge cock onto me do I find so arousing. her forcing it into my mouth, and then having him cum in my mouth and on my face, then she takes his big cock, and wipes the cum all over my face. It seems like this would be a major turn-off to most guys, so why do I desire it?


Signed, Amazed by Size

Continue reading

Waiting Sucks

So it’s going to be a month before I can see Rocky again, and that makes me sad. It means I have to work on the patience thing a little more, and I don’t like that. But I guess there’s a reason for everything, and if I still like him as much in a month as I do now, then that’ll be a pretty damn good sign. And I guess it’s a good thing that we’ll have to wait so long. It gives kazander a bit more time to get used to the idea. He’s still not particularly enthused about it. I don’t think he will be until it actually happens and he finds out he actually likes it (which I know is going to happen). At least this way, he won’t feel quite as rushed into it. Continue reading

And Just Like That…

I’m back on track.

Just as I was about to lose faith in the internet completely, it gave me a glimmer of hope. I received a message from a gentleman who intrigued me. He seems like he could definitely be what I’m looking for. We spoke briefly on the phone, and his personable and friendly nature caught my attention right from the start. We still need to iron out the details, but I’m meeting him in person tomorrow. It definitely seems like we’re looking for the same thing, and if the meeting tomorrow goes well, I just might get some awesome sex in the next few days!

I don’t want to get my hopes up too high this soon, but I’m definitely looking forward to meeting him in person.

Spooky has tried to contact me, too. Apparently he “got caught up with work” (Yeah, that gas station clerk position is demanding, lemme tell ya) and just didn’t have time to send a text message to let me know he wouldn’t be there, and I that I would be waiting for 40 minutes, and that scrambling to find a babysitter was wasted effort, and that he was flaking out (for the second time, I might add) on plans we literally made 14 hours previous, even though he’s texted and yahoo messaged me while at work before.

So needless to say, those text messages went unanswered, and will continue to go unanswered. Standing me up is unacceptable, and I’m apparently in high demand, so it is the responsibility of the men who want me to prove that they’re worth my time. Those who fail to do so are easily forgotten and replaced by those who make more of an effort.

Well, That’s Frustrating

Well, kazander and I were supposed to meet with Spooky today, and he stood us up. So that’s frustrating. Obviously I won’t be speaking to him anymore. Now I have to start all over again and find someone else who fits what I’m looking for.

Kazander is relieved, I think. But I told him that this is only a temporary reprieve. I WILL find someone else who can give me what I want. I WILL make cuckolding a reality. And he WILL suck dick and bend over down the line.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m being too specific in what I’m looking for. I don’t want a string of one-night stands, and I don’t want to have sex when kazander isn’t present. I want a regular “boyfriend” who would be more than willing to help me humiliate and abuse kazander in a variety of depraved ways. So the bull needs to be bi (or at least bi-curious), have at least a slight Dominant streak, and he needs to not be a flake. And, as I have discovered today, two out of three isn’t good enough.

Believe it or not, that list really does narrow down the list of possible applicants. But what I’m thinking I’m going to do is try within my own group of D/s friends. I used to go to a local munch every Friday, but we haven’t gone in months. Even if none of my friends are interested (I’m mentally running through my male Dom friends, and I’m pretty sure none of them are even remotely bi, and the vast majority are in exclusive relationships), maybe they’ll know someone who is.

And in the meantime, I’m still going to search online and see if there’s at least one bull here in Vegas who is real and not a flake. I know for a fact that real people exist on the internet. The internet is where I met kazander. True, I had to wade through a nipple-high sea of fakes and flakes before I found him, but it was definitely worth the effort. So I venture back out into that sea once more. Hopefully I’ll have more luck next time.

And, as a little bonus, kazander’s sister has agreed to watch the spawn tonight. It’s awesome because now I have all kinds of extra freedom to take out my frustration on kazander. Hmm, we haven’t done sounding in awhile, and kazander hates it, so I think that might just be tonight’s winner.