30 Days of Kink: Day 28

How do you dress for kink/BDSM play?  What significance does your attire have to you?

There are a couple of different ways I’ll dress for a session.  Occasionally, I will dress in the corset and leather you see in the Femdom porn videos.  Other times (and most commonly) I’ll dress in a T-shirt or tank top and jeans.  Sometimes I’ll dress in lingerie.  Sometimes I’ll be naked.

I definitely think that my attire makes a difference.  A subtle difference, but a difference nonetheless.  And it definitely makes a difference to the sub I’m playing with.  A corset, leather skirt, and thigh-high boots, with my hair slicked back and my makeup severe, portrays a completely different attitude than my normal T-shirt-and-jeans style.

Now, the vast majority of the time, I don’t dress particularly “special” for a session.  I prefer being myself, dressing in a way that makes me comfortable and allows for a deal of movement and flexibility.  As sexy as my corset is, I can’t bend or stretch or anything like that while wearing it.  It looks great in the pornos, but doesn’t really translate well to real life.

As I’ve said a bajillion times before, and will say a bajillion times again, this isn’t a costume I put on and take off at will.  And while dressing up occasionally is cool and a lot of fun, I don’t go walking down the street dressed like a slutty Dominatrix, so why would I do it during a session?

Besides, being in vanilla clothes most of the time has worked to my advantage quite a bit.  If I have a boy come over, and I’m dressed in the lingerie and thigh-highs, he knows without a doubt that something twisted and kinky is going to happen.  But if I’m in my regular vanilla clothes, he doesn’t necessarily know.  I could just have him clean my house.  I could have him draw me a bath or give me a vanilla back massage after a long day.  I could have him serve drinks while I socialize with a friend.  Or I could bend him over the back of the couch and brutally fuck him without a word.

See, it’s that element of surprise.  He never knows what to expect, and I like that.

Sad face.

My corset doesn’t fit right anymore.

But, but, but why?

But, but, but why?

I’ve recently lost a shit-ton of weight, all from my stomach, waist, and hips.  I kept the triple-Ds.

Which, generally speaking, is fucking awesome.


I went and got pictures taken with the other leaders of the Femdom group last night.  And I wore my corset, because I love that thing (fun side fact…. I had to be barefoot, because I wore my knee-high boots, which have a substantial heel.  I’m 5’9-ish, maybe 5’10” barefoot.  When .I had the boots on, I was so tall that they couldn’t fit both me and the seated group leader in the frame).

But I haven’t worn the corset in a few months.  I didn’t tighten it at home, because trying to drive a car with a tightened corset is a ginormous pain in the ass.  I waited until I got there, and then had one of them do it.

About halfway through, I looked back at her over my shoulder and said, “You’re still good.  You can go way tighter.”

She hesitated, looked up at me, and said, “Uh, no I can’t.”

The two edges were touching.  It literally couldn’t go any tighter.

My $300 corset is too fucking big for me.

Except, of course, for in the chest.  It’s an over-bust corset (which is the style I prefer) and while it was way, way too loose in my stomach, the girls kept trying to poke out the top.  I didn’t realize how noticeable it was until I saw the pictures from the shoot.

Like damn.

So that sucks.

There’s an awesome seamstress and corset-maker here in town, so I’m going to take it to her and see what she can do to fix it.  It might be a little bit expensive, but it damn sure won’t be $300-expensive.

Still sucks, though.  Pouty face.