Schedules and Responsibilities

I won’t be able to see the Nerd until next week.

140159His work schedule is crazy this week, and I’ve got a lot going on, myself, so it just won’t be able to happen.  And that’s a bummer.  It really is.

He’s so eager, though.  He really is.  He was texting me tonight while I was working, and asked if I had any free time after I got off.  He wanted to come over to suck on my strap-on for a little bit.

And dear God, it was tempting.

But kazander is working a lot of overtime this week, so he’s already in bed, asleep.  Which means the bedroom is off-limits.  And we can’t play in the living room and risk the spawn coming out and catching us.


I had to tell him no.  And it killed me to do it.

But on the plus side, today wasn’t completely kink-free.  I did a lot of edging with kazander.  I love the effect it has on him.  By the 19th edge, he was writhing and panting and squirming and begging for God-knows-what.  It was adorable.  We took a shower together before I had to log in for work, and he did a very thorough job bathing me.  I always love when he bathes me.  He’s so sweet, and gentle, and it really gets him in that servitude mindset.

Throughout the night, I edged him some more, and the more I did it, the more turned-on I got.  Kazander is a very strong, powerful man.  He tends to intimidate people, he tends to be in charge in pretty much every situation he finds himself in.  Even in his circle of friends, he’s the leader.  His own parents defer to him, and let him be more or less the head of the family.

But with me, that strong man is brought to his knees, and reduced to a pitiful, mewling, gasping little boy.  It’s so addicting.  And I love watching him writhe.  It’s such a sweet drug, and I’m completely addicted.

So I teased him relentlessly, mercilessly, because it’s fun.  Then, I sat on his face for a bit, because why not?

I gave him a ruined orgasm (by accident, I’ll admit… An edge went just one stroke too far, and he couldn’t hold back) and sent him to bed.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to see the nerd on Friday, and continue to work on breaking him and making him my bitch.  It really won’t be hard.  Not with him.  Not with how docile and obedient and eager he is.

I kinda love my life.

Taking the Nerd’s Virginity

The Nerd came over last night.  And holy-fucking-glow-in-the-dark-ass-implants, Batman.

I knew this was his first time, and that he was nervous as hell, so I decided I was going to completely capitalize on that nervousness.  I wore my black thigh-high stockings, a sheer, thigh-length camisole, and my black over-bust corset over that.  With black pumps, of course.

I looked damn good.  And scary for a new sub, which was an awesome bonus.  Kazander certainly approved of the way I looked.

It was adorable how eager the Nerd was.  He got here and I immediately brought him into the bedroom and told him to take off his clothes.  So he was standing there, naked, and rock-hard, hairless, and trembling.

And I already knew he was cute.  But seeing him naked, I was reminded that he’s actually really good-looking.  Slender, but not scrawny, around my height (he was actually a smidge shorter than me, but I was wearing the heels), with black hair and a sweet, innocent face.

Yes please, and thank-you-very-much.

I made him stand there for a minute, while I walked around him, inspecting my new toy and loving what I was seeing.  He shuddered a bit when I ran my nails down his back, over his butt, and when I reached lower, to tease his asshole a bit, I heard that soft gasp that I love so freaking much.

I made him bend over and teased him some more, alternating between playing with his ass and his balls.  Really, all I wanted to do was grab him by his hair, pin him down on the bed, and fuck him brainless with the strapon, but I knew I had to take things slow.

And I knew the strapon would be too big for him.  It’s not for beginners, and especially not for virgins.  So that would have to wait.


But still, I had a wide array of toys I could use on him, and I was excited about it.

I have one of those under-the-bed restraint systems, so I had him lie on his back, spread-eagle, and tied his hands down.  I didn’t cuff his ankles, because I needed them up and bent, so I could get easier access to his ass.  I decided not to blindfold him yet.  No, I wanted to see his face when I took his virginity.

First, I just slid a lubed-up finger inside him.  He held my gaze as I fingered him, moaning softly and squirming all over the place.  He was so tight, it was unbelievable.  I’ve gotten so used to kazander, who is well acquainted with ass play, it was actually a little surprising, how much tighter the Nerd was.

I fingered him for a bit, using my other hand to edge him a couple of times (the first of many), then switched to the vibe he bought when I took him to the store.

It was bigger than my fingers, so I needed to go slow.  I lubed it up well, positioned it at his entrance, and started easing it in.

I can’t lie… There was a big part of me that just wanted to ram it in, to completely and utterly violate him, to absolutely degrade him.  The temptation was strong.

But I want him to enjoy anal.  I want him to enjoy and crave being filled, being fucked, being used.  And with what I knew of his personality, I needed to go slow with him to achieve that goal.  I needed to be gentle.

So I was.  I slid it in slowly, giving him time to adjust.  He was breathing hard and gasping, still moaning and squirming in that delicious way of his.  Finally, it was all the way in, and I started caressing his chest and stomach, giving him a moment to get used to the fact that he was being penetrated for the first time in his life.

And the look on his face as he looked up at me, the vulnerability, nervousness, desire, pain, humiliation, and trust there, was insane.  I was already dripping wet, and we were barely fifteen minutes into our play.

Then, after a moment, I reached down and turned the vibe on, setting it to a medium speed.  And his reaction was priceless.  His eyes widened, he gasped, his whole body tensed up, and he started writhing slowly on the bed, grinding his butt into the mattress.

He wanted to be fucked.

And who am I to deny such a sweet little thing what he wanted?

So I gripped the end of the vibe and started fucking him with it, pushing it in as far as it would go, then pulling it almost all the way back out.  I went slowly, letting him savor the experience, letting him savor the sensation.  It was a long, slow, thorough fucking, and he was going nuts.

After a few minutes, I left the vibe to continue whirring away inside him, and turned my attention elsewhere.  I put on my vampire gloves and ran them across his chest, ribs, stomach, and thighs.  Mostly, I was gentle with them, but of course there was the occasional slap to his thigh, or reaching down to cup his ass cheek tightly, or pressing a fingertip to his nipples, balls, or shaft.

Next came the Whartenburg Wheel, which got some nice, shivery reactions from him.

By this time, he was actually getting pretty overwhelmed, and I had to remind myself that he’s completely new, completely inexperienced, and while he wasn’t a total virgin, he hadn’t been with a lot of women, either.  I needed to take things slow. What kazander and I would consider a great warm-up was about all he could handle.

So I didn’t take it much farther than that.  About an hour after we started, I grabbed my vibrating wand and held it to his dick, while turning the vibe inside him all the way up, as high as it would go.

It took less than a minute.  He came all over the place, and I gently pulled the vibe out of him, handed him a towel, and gave him some time to recover.  It was his first play session, and his first experience with the sub drop that sometimes comes afterwards, and seemed a little worried.  I explained that he’d just pretty much exhausted his body’s supply of adrenaline, endorphins, and seratonin.  It’s normal to feel a little “off” afterwards.

So I sat with him for about twenty minutes after the session was over, just chatting and letting him recover.  Once he was feeling a bit more steady, I walked him out, gave him a hug, and sent him on his way.

And I’ll have to be honest, I was half-expecting to run damage-control with kazander after the Nerd left.  It had been my first time playing with another sub since the very earliest days of our relationship, and while we had both talked about it, and agreed to it, I didn’t know how he was going to react.

So I was prepared for anger, or hurt feelings, or jealousy, or anything like that.

Instead, when I approached him on the couch, he leaned forward, grabbed my panties in his teeth, and pulled them off of me (I should say, I was ridiculously wet at this point, and the panties were soaked).

Well, okay then.  I can definitely work with that.

I took my cue from him and grabbed him by his hair, pulling his head back and shoving the wettest part of the panties in his mouth, making him taste it.  I leaned over and whispered, “How does it feel, knowing it was someone else who got me this wet?”

He didn’t answer with words, but his dick jumped immediately to attention, and he melted into that mushy, squishy pile of subby goo that I love so much.  He and I played for a bit, and he gave me oral, and then we went to bed.

It was a fucking awesome night.

Changes an’ Such

A few things have changed. First of all, kazander and I got married in November. The venue was disorganized and awful, but we had a lot of fun. People still give us compliments on the ceremony. We happen to be friends with an awesome officiant (can we say “friendship discount,” everyone?), who is also a part of the local BDSM community. That’s how we met him, as a matter of fact. He’s also known us for almost as long as we’ve been together, so he knows us so well as a couple. Continue reading

Second (and Third) Chances

So when a friendship/relationship/whatever is new, I’m not big on second chances. If you stand me up, lie to me, flake out on me, or anything stupid like that, you’re done. I don’t have the patience for it, and it’s just too easy to find someone else who will put forth the effort. Continue reading

If I Had Known Then What I Know Now…

I’ve said before that I have a pretty damn fantastic self image. But that wasn’t always the case. In junior high and high school, I had some nasty self-esteem issues, like many teenage girls tend to have. On top of that, my parents never really taught me or my sister about hygiene or house-cleaning or healthy eating habits or anything like that. So I was always the chubby frumpy girl growing up. Continue reading