Sad Panda is Sad

137552-sad_pandaMost of last night was spent talking to kazander about what was going to happen today, once sissy got here.  He was still pretty nervous, and had a lot of questions, including a lot of what-if scenarios that I really couldn’t answer.

But, despite being a bit apprehensive, he was looking forward to it, and I was totally looking forward to it.  It’s been so long since I’ve been able to play with sissy, and I miss doing mean, vicious things to her.  She was excited, too, and looking forward to playing with the both of us.

We arranged for her to come around 3:30 in the afternoon, when we could pass the spawn off to my mom and have the house to ourselves.  I was so looking forward to it.

And then, today, I got a call from her.  She got called into work, and couldn’t get out of it.  She had to be there at 5.

Grrr.

She asked if she could still stop by for just a moment, saying that she had something she’s been wanting to give me, but with the scheduling issues we’ve been having and the universe conspiring against us, she hasn’t had the chance.

So she came by, I met her outside, and she handed me a small black velvet bag, with something deliciously heavy inside.

I seriously squealed like a teenage girl when I saw the gleaming, shiny, steel, jeweled butt plug inside.

It's so shiny!

It’s so shiny!

So that’s pretty cool, and definitely made me smile.  I can’t wait to put it in her.

I’m still bummed that I won’t be able to play with her, but her schedule is pretty open this week, and she can do late nights, so I’m going to see what I can arrange for after the kid goes to sleep.  Fingers crossed!

I’m also seeing sounder on Tuesday, and kazander and I still have an afternoon/evening without the kid, so there is definitely going to be something twisted and depraved in my immediate future.

Humiliation. And calligraphy, because I’m classy like that

Last night, kazander’s sub was supposed to come over, and he’d had a rough day at work, and he wasn’t caged, so he was in full-fledged assertive-man mode.  I was horny and stressed out, and had completely forgotten that she was supposed to come over.  I was a little bummed, but he’d asked me almost a week ago, and I’d said it was fine.  I’m not about to go back on my word. Continue reading

Give and Take

So there are some definite advantages to reproducing. For the more old-school types, you get the whole my-legacy-lives-on thing. And if you’re one of those nurturing types, you get a cute little dress-up doll who may or may not grow up resenting you. Ah, but what the hell. No matter what you do, there’s a reasonably high chance the kid is going to need extensive therapy/resent you/become estranged/whatever. Since I’m not necessarily old-school, and I’ve certainly never been described as overly-nurturing, neither of those things appeal to me. So it may surprise some to discover that kazander and I have a kid.

Why in the blue hell am I talking about a kid on a femdom blog, you may ask? Well, because that little terror, as cute as she may be, has had a massive impact on our lifestyle. For example, trying to make this cuckolding thing happen is exponentially more difficult because we have to coordinate kazander’s schedule with Spooky’s schedule AND we have to coordinate those schedules with our babysitter’s schedule. Frustrating as all hell.

It probably also wouldn’t be appropriate to have kazander crawl around naked, in chastity, with a pig-tail butt plug while she’s around (now THAT would be a new take on “daddy issues”). Luckily for us, she goes to bed at 9, and I have the rest of the night to do whatever I wish to him. Speaking of which, that chastity device is looking AWFULLY lonely there on top of my dresser.

On the plus side, she’s almost two and can now do simple chores that I just don’t wanna do. And as she gets older and masters more of those pesky motor skills, she’ll be able to do more stuff that I don’t wanna do. So, there’s that. Also, now I have an entire person that I can control and shape into a successful adult. And, for a Napoleonic power-monger like me, that’s a pretty significant bonus. She’s also the most unintentionally funny person I’ve ever known. Oh, and since Mother’s Day is tomorrow, I get all kinds of special treatment for having grown a person. I’m definitely looking forward to going to Texas De Brazil tomorrow night. Oh, and my parents are footing the bill. Score!

So, as with everything else, there are pros and cons to having a kid, and having a kid certainly changes part of the D/s dynamic. While my word is law on most things, I fully expect kazander to step up and be the strong, assertive father his daughter needs. And he’s done a pretty good job of that. Sometimes our dynamic changes minute-by-minute. It’s confusing.

Anyway, so pros and cons. Give and take. I have to give up a little bit of freedom as far as when I can beat the living hell out of kazander. But I get free, 24/7 entertainment in the form of my very, very weird and entertaining daughter.