Dear Domina Jen,
Long time reader, first time writer. Firstly, I’d just like to thank you for your blog. It’s wonderful, and I always enjoy reading it.
There is one thing I’ve not noticed much of on your blog, and that’s ball busting. Is that something that interests you at all? It’s always been my primary fetish, but as of yet I have not had the opportunity to try it. Is there any advice you could give a novice?
Thank you in advance for your time and for your blog.
Thank you for the kind words. And yes, to answer your question, I do enjoy ball busting.
Kind of a lot.
Ball busting is a lot of fun. Like, an obscene amount of fun. I’m not sure many people are aware of this, but I’m just a tad bit on the sadistic side.
I haven’t really mentioned it much because I haven’t really done much of it lately. Kazander isn’t a masochist, Steel doesn’t live here, star has a different set of equipment (oh, and I’m going to have fun exploiting that), so the only one I could really do it with is Sounder (assuming I let him keep them….), and I’ve had my focus elsewhere with him.
But yes, I enjoy it. The thing is that I’m picky with what I like.
In ball busting, as in most of my other sadistic urges, it’s not the pain itself so much (although I’m a huge fan of leaving marks on a sub) as the reaction. When I was a ProDomme, I had a client with a pretty big ball busting fetish, and he was quite experienced with the practice.
But my sessions with him bored me to tears.
The problem was that he was quite experienced with the practice. I’m not a small woman, and I used to be a runner. I’d kick him square in the nuts as hard as I could (which was fucking hard, m’kay) and he’d wince and grunt a bit, and that was it.
And then the silly boy made the colossal mistake of telling me it was impossible to get more of a reaction out of him.
It took four sessions, but I finally got the reaction I wanted out of him. Not surprisingly, that was the last time he came to me for sessions, the poor dear.
When I hit you in the nuts, I want the reaction. I want you to scream, fall to the floor in the fetal position, and roll around in agony for a bit.
That’s what I like. And there are a number of ways to achieve this, and conversely there are a number of reasons why it can be hard to achieve with certain experienced men.
I’ve learned that, for a number of these men, the pain definitely plays a role, but it’s more the force that gets them off. They like to be hit hard. They like to see a woman wind up and punch or kick with all their strength.
Which is fine for many women. Just not for me.
What happens is that they get used to being hit that hard. Their body learns to adjust, and while it still hurts, it’s not the fall-on-the-ground-and-fight-back-nausea pain that I’m looking for. They become desensitized.
And I don’t want my boys to become desensitized. I once had a sub with the fetish, and this became a big problem in our relationship. He wanted the force. I wanted to be able to make him collapse in pain, not just today, but a year, two years, five years from now.
Want to take a guess whose desires I cared more about?
Granted, not every time I bust a boy’s balls will end in nausea and crying. One thing I love is to stand in front of a naked boy and cause just enough pain to make him drop to his knees. He’ll take a second to gather his composure, then obediently stand back up, put his hands behind his back, and wait for me to hit him again.
It’s a relatively simple thing, but it’s so awesome, seeing him drop, tense with the pain, then stand back up, presenting himself so I can cause more. He knows I’m going to cause more. He knows I’m going to hurt him again. He’s expecting it and dreading it. But he knows I want it, so that’s what he does.
It’s pretty to watch.
If you’re into it, if you want to try it, I definitely suggest going out and finding someone (preferably someone experienced, there are potential health risks involved) to do it to you. There’s nothing wrong with a good ball busting session. I would just advise that you start slow. Even if the force is your primary motivator, it would do you well to start out a little more gently, and gradually work your way up in intensity. It’s a sensitive area, it won’t take a lot to give you what you’re looking for.
But go for it. Go out and have fun, and experience for yourself how awesome it really is.