Written in Stone, Part 7

“You’re mine,” Dryas growled, grabbing him by his hair and yanking him from the bed.  “Did you honestly think anyone else would want you?”

Kieran gasped, grimacing against the pain as he was thrown violently to the floor.  He looked up at the man, realizing he was back in the basement where he had lived for three years.

“I knew she’d get tired of you,” Dryas continued.  “It was only a matter of time.  She begged me to buy you back.”

Kieran moved as far back against the wall as he could.  He knew the mood his owner was in.  He knew what that meant for him.

Charis didn’t want him.  She’d sold him back to Dryas, to be beaten, starved, left tied up in that basement for the rest of his life.

“You thought your pretty face would make her like you?  You thought that would make you valuable enough for her to want to keep you?  What a fool you are.”

Kieran whimpered as his owner reached for him, roughly positioning him on all fours.

“You’re going to remember who owns you,” Dryas snarled in his ear.  “Whenever you think about that mothax bitch, you’re going to feel me inside you, and you’re going to remember that she didn’t want you.”

Tears pricked his eyes, and he tried to think about the feel of Charis’ fingers inside him, tried to think about the touch of her hand.

“Domina,” he murmured, sobbing.  No, she couldn’t have sold him.  She couldn’t have given him back to the man who had tortured him.  It couldn’t be true.

But the pain of his owner’s cock forcing its way inside him shattered every other thought in his mind.

He screamed, bolting upright, his chest tight and his breath coming in ragged gasps.  It took a long few moments for him to register the fact that he was in his bed, in his room, in Charis’ house.

But Charis wasn’t there.  She’d left after he’d fallen asleep.

He was alone.  Gods, she’d left him alone.

Dryas was right.  Kieran could still feel him.  He could still feel the things Dryas had done inside him.

He cringed and lied back down, curling up, pulling the blanket tight around him.  But no matter what he did, he could still feel Dryas invading him.

“Domina,” he murmured, shutting his eyes tight and crying into the pillow.  But when he closed his eyes, all he could see was Dryas’ face above him, grunting as he fucked him.

He sobbed, trying to push that image out of his mind.  But nothing worked.

“Domina,” he cried, clutching the blankets close, desperate to feel something other than Dryas’ hands on him and his cock inside him.

“Kieran?”

Charis’ voice surprised him, and he looked up to see her walking into his room, her brow furrowed with concern.  She hurried into the room and sat down on the bed beside him, reaching down to cup his face.

“Kieran, what’s the matter, love?”

Oh gods, had he woken her?

“I’m sorry, Domina,” he sobbed, moving closer to her.  She quickly pulled him into her lap, running her fingers through his hair and caressing his face.

“It’s alright, you have nothing to be sorry about.  What’s wrong?”

“I… I had a bad dream.”

“About what?”

Kieran hesitated, moving closer to her, clinging to her waist.

“It’s alright, love.  You’re safe, I’m here.  Tell me.”

He took a deep, shuddering breath.  “You sold me back to Lord Roubanis,” he whispered shakily.  “He threw me back into the basement.  He told me he’s the only one who would ever want me.  He… he…”

“Shh,” Charis murmured, kissing him gently.  “You’re mine.  Dryas will never, ever touch you again.  He’ll never be able to hurt you again.”

Kieran shook his head.  “I can still feel him,” he whispered.

“He’s gone.  He has no power over you anymore.”

He couldn’t stop the sobs.  “He’s still inside me.”

“No, he’s far away.  And you’re forever out of his reach.”

Kieran cringed, sobbing harder.  “He’ll always own me.  He’ll always be inside me.”

“Love, I’m here.  I’m going to protect you.”

He sobbed frantically, cringing as he felt Dryas inside him.  “I… I can’t…”

“You’re mine, Kieran.  I will protect you from him.  I’ll protect you from anyone who wants to hurt you.”

But you weren’t here!” he cried.

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew they were a mistake.  Moaning through his tears, he pulled away from her and knelt at her feet in an attempt to apologize for his rude outburst.

He heard her sigh above him, then felt her hand on his head.  “I’m here now,” she said softly.  “Come back up here.  Lie down with me.”

Sniffling, he did as he was told, eagerly retreating into her arms as she lied down on the bed with him.

“You’re not alone,” she murmured.  “I’m right here.  I’ll stay here all night.  And I’ll be here, holding you, when you wake up.”

“Yes, Domina.”

“Are you alright?”

He nodded.  They were both quiet for a moment, then, his heart pounding, Kieran found the courage to speak.

“Domina?”

“Yes, love?”

“Why haven’t you punished me for misbehaving?”

“Because you haven’t misbehaved.”

“But… But just now… I raised my voice.”

Charis sighed, and kissed the top of his head.  “Sometimes the message is more important than the delivery,” she told him.  “You needed me, you needed to feel like you weren’t abandoned, and that was the only way you knew how to tell me.  I’ll teach you how to tell me what you need, but I’m not going to punish you for not knowing how.”

“But I’m a slave.  Why does it matter what I need?”

“Because you’re not just a slave,” she told him.  “You’re a person, a man.  And you have a beautiful spirit that I want to see come out.  Not all slave owners are cruel, Kieran.  You’re going to meet quite a few people who would never dream of abusing their slaves the way Dryas abused you.  Helots that are happy and fulfilled make better slaves.  Their lives improve because their owners love them.  And because their owners love them, they aren’t euthanized or sold to the State at 35.  That’s what I want for you, Kieran.  That’s the life I want you to have.  I want you to be loved.  Cherished.  Taken care of.”

Kieran sighed, nestling in close to her, savoring the feel of her arms around him.  He closed his eyes and imagined the kind of life she described, and fell asleep to the image of the future she painted for him.

When he woke up, sunlight streamed through the windows, and sure enough, Charis was there, still holding him.  Kieran looked up at her face, studying her the way he didn’t have the courage to when she was awake.

She really was beautiful.

His heart pounding, he moved closer to her and nuzzled her neck, kissing her the way he saw Rowyn kiss her, that she had seemed to enjoy.

She stirred, then became alert, a hand going to his throat, claiming his lips in a deep, passionate kiss.

Kieran gasped, surprised that she would kiss him.  But it wasn’t unpleasant, the way she boldly explored his mouth, gentle but brooking no argument and allowing no hesitation.

Suddenly, her eyes shot open and she pulled away, now fully awake.  For a split second, there was a look of confusion and surprise on her face, then she laughed.

“Kieran,” she said cheerfully.  “Sorry, I thought you were Rowyn.”

Kieran was surprised by her apology.  “I’m yours, Domina,” he told her, confused.  “My body is yours.  My mouth is yours.”

Charis was quiet for a moment, studying his face.  “Do you prefer men or women?” she asked suddenly.

The question took him by surprise, but it didn’t frighten him the way it did last time she’d asked.  “Women don’t scare me as much,” he admitted.  “They usually don’t beat me or hurt me the way men do.”

“That’s understandable, but it’s not the same thing,” Charis said.  “Try to put abusive men out of your mind, and think only of physical attraction.”

Kieran closed his eyes, trying to obey her.  He didn’t think about Dryas, or about anyone who used him before Charis bought him.  Instead, he thought of Charis’ body, her exquisite beauty, and he thought of Taber, and Rowyn.  He thought of how much he had loved watching Taber eagerly take a cock in both holes.  He thought of how Rowyn’s cock had felt and tasted in his mouth.

He imagined Rowyn gently bending him over, holding him down as he slowly but thoroughly claimed every inch of him.  He imagined being in Taber’s place, between Rowyn and Cullen.

Gasping, his eyes shot open, and he looked to Charis, a look of frantic helplessness on his face.

Oh gods, he did have a preference.  And it wasn’t her.

That’s what he’d been afraid of.

“Domina,” he whispered, almost pleading, his heart pounding.

Gods, he’d let that part of himself be acknowledged, and found that he did have a preference.  And his owner wasn’t his preference.

What was he going to do?

“Hey, it’s alright,” she assured him.  “It’s alright to prefer one over the other.  I’m not angry at you for preferring men.  Hell, I’m married to a man who prefers men.  It’s alright.”

“I’m yours, Domina,” he said quickly, reaching for her.  “You’re beautiful, and kind, and I love being yours, and I love you, and I want to serve you.  I want to please you any way I can.  I want to make you happy.  I… I want to kiss you, Domina.  Please, let me service you.  Anything you want.  I’m yours.  You saved me.  I want to be perfect for you.  Everything you want.”

His voice and his begging became more and more desperate, until Charis finally silenced him with another deep kiss.

This time, he didn’t remain still.  He melted into her, yielding completely to her, silently begging her for more.

She laughed, pulling away from him.  “Come on,” she told him.  “You can bathe me, instead.”

Kieran couldn’t keep the disappointment from his face, and Charis laughed again when she saw it.  “Don’t worry, love.  I’ll use you again soon.”

“Yes, Domina,” he said, following her out of the bedroom and into the master bathroom.  Once there, he drew the bath the same way he’d seen her do it for him.  While the tub filled up, he went to the linen closet and pulled out some soft towels, setting them on the edge of the tub.

Next came the bottle of sweet-smelling bath oil.

“You’ve been paying attention,” she said approvingly.

Kieran blushed.  “Yes, Domina,” he answered, reaching to help her out of her nightgown.

Just as he did the first time he saw her undressed, he couldn’t take her eyes off her body.  It wasn’t so much sexual, but he certainly had a healthy appreciation for her beauty.

All Spartans were beautiful when naked, of course.  With physical fitness being such a big part of their culture, most had bodies that inspired awe.  Dryas had been toned and fit, as had all his friends.

His new owner was no different.  She looked incredible, and somehow, the dark scars lacing their way across her pale flesh made her even more beautiful.  Her long, blonde hair tumbled down her back in soft waves, almost reaching her waist.

She was all grace and strength as she stepped into the tub, sighing as she sank down into the water.  Kieran got in after her, sitting down beside her and tentatively pressing the washcloth to her back, letting the warm water trail down her skin.

They were quiet as he bathed her, aside from her gentle guidance and appreciative sighs.

Kieran enjoyed being close to her.  True, he was more sexually attracted to men, but there was no doubt in his mind that he loved her.  She’d saved him, she’d rescued him from Dryas, the man who had beaten him and degraded him.

She was gentle with him, and kind to him, and treated him like a human being.

A man.

Gods, it was still such a foreign idea, to think of himself as a man.  Would he ever get used to that?

Would he ever get used to the way she talked to him?  The way she smiled at him?

As if she cared about him?

She’d given so much to him already.  He would give everything to her.

She gave him dignity, and the ability to take pride in his service.  Everything he was, he would give to her.

He was telling the truth when he said he loved her.  He loved her, with everything he had.  And he always would.

So he would spend the rest of his life showing her how much he loved her.  And how grateful he was that she had saved him.

A sudden knock on the door startled him.

“Yes?” Charis called.

The door opened and Cullen stepped in.

“Good morning, Domina,” he greeted.

“Good morning, love,” Charis said.

“Elan’s on the phone,” he told her.

“Everything okay?”

“He said you’d asked him to call when the caterer got in.”

She raised a brow.  “They’re there already?”

“Yes, Domina.”

Charis rose to her feet and stepped out of the tub, into the soft blue robe that Cullen held out for her.  She looked back to Kieran as she tied the sash around her waist.

“Thank you, pet,” she told him.  “Go ahead and get yourself cleaned up.”

“I could help him, if you want,” Cullen said, a mischievous smile spreading across his face.  He winked at Kieran.

Charis paused, then looked back to Kieran.  She saw the blush in his cheeks, the shy, embarrassed smile, and grinned.  “You’re insatiable,” she muttered.

“That’s not a no, Domina,” Cullen pointed out.

“No, it’s not.”

“So I can play with the toy?”

Kieran’s face flamed even hotter, and he lowered his eyes, unable to meet Cullen’s hungry, lustful, playful gaze.  His heart pounded, waiting to hear Charis’ answer.  The strange thing, though, was that he couldn’t decide whether he hoped she’d say yes, or no.

“Go ahead,” she said after a moment.  “Gently.”

Cullen’s smile widened.  “I’ll be gentle.”

“Only his mouth,” she told him.  “Don’t touch his ass.”

He nodded.  “Yes, Domina.”

Kieran’s heart pounded as she left the room, leaving the two of them alone.  Cullen looked to him and grinned jovially.

“Let’s take a shower,” he said.

Wordlessly, Kieran followed him into the shower, watching as he removed his tunic and turned the water on.  But he hesitated when he looked back and saw the expression on Kieran’s face.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

Unable to hold his gaze, Kieran’s eyes dropped.  “A little,” he whispered.

“Hey, you don’t have to be nervous,” Cullen assured him.  “It’s alright.  Come on, I’ll suck your dick first, how about that?”

Kieran stayed quiet, unsure of how to react to that.  No one had ever put their mouth on his cock before.  He was nervous and scared, but also curious.  He had given enough blowjobs, he wondered what receiving one would feel like.

“Come on, get in.”

Cullen took his hand and pulled him under the water, claiming his mouth with a deep, authoritative kiss as the water spilled over them.  His hands roamed across Kieran’s body, exploring every inch of him as his tongue explored his mouth.

“Gods, you’re so fucking hot,” Cullen said breathlessly, pulling away.  “I can’t wait to taste your ass, as well as your mouth.”

Kieran blushed, his cock surging at the idea.  “Y-you can,” he whispered.

Cullen kissed him again, then, grabbing a handful of his hair, pulled his head back, exposing his neck.  “No,” he answered.  “Domina said not to touch your ass.  But the rest of your body… That’s all free range.”

Kieran gasped as Cullen lowered his head to kiss his neck, pinning him against the shower wall as his lips and hands roamed across his body.

He whimpered when Cullen’s hand went to his cock.

Cullen smiled.  “What, you like this?” he asked, gently teasing him.

“Yes,” Kieran murmured, moaning as Cullen kept him pinned with one hand around his throat, the other hand slowly stroking him.

“You want more of this?”

“Yes.”

The hand on his cock disappeared, and Kieran couldn’t stop the soft whine from escaping him.  Then, he felt Cullen’s lips at his ear.

“Beg for it,” he whispered.

Kieran gasped as the command sent an unexpected chill down his spine.  “Please,” he begged.  “Please, Cullen.  Please, touch me.”

Cullen chuckled softly, waiting just a moment before gripping Kieran’s cock again.  The moan that escaped the boy fueled his own desire.

“You are not to move,” he ordered, taking his earlobe in his teeth.  “Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” Kieran gasped.

Cullen smiled, then began kissing his way down Kieran’s body.  The moans and adorable little gasps turned him on even more, and he almost laughed at Kieran’s reaction when he took a nipple into his mouth.

This would be too easy.

“Don’t move,” he ordered, reminding Kieran before moving further down the boy’s body.

The poor thing was trembling by the time Cullen got to his hips.  But his cock was rock hard, throbbing, and dripping.

Cullen put his finger against the tip of Kieran’s cock, gathering the bead of precum that hung from it, then reached up, pushing his finger into the wet, eager mouth above him.

Then, after Kieran had obediently sucked his finger clean, Cullen turned his attention to the boy’s cock.

And noticed just how much he was trembling.  He hesitated for a moment.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Y-yes,” Kieran stammered.

“Have you ever had your dick sucked before?”

Kieran’s face flamed hot.  “No.”

Ah, so that would explain the trembling.

Cullen smiled, changing his strategy a bit.  “You’re still not allowed to move,” he said.

He went slow, kissing Kieran’s thighs, his abdomen, his hips.  Then, he turned his attention to the throbbing cock.  But he didn’t go fast, like he’d originally planned.  No, this was Kieran’s first time.  Cullen wanted it to be memorable.

Instead, he licked it slowly, from base to tip, savoring the shuddering moans and soft whimpers that set his own cock on fire.  Then, he licked it again around the head.

“Cullen,” Kieran moaned, worried that his knees were going to buckle.

Suddenly, he felt soft lips, a wet tongue, and a warm mouth around his cock, and he very nearly screamed.  He would’ve collapsed, had Cullen not been holding him up.

Easily, the larger man caught him, lowering him down to the floor of the shower.  Once he was lying on his back, Cullen went back to his cock.

“Cullen!” Kieran exclaimed, crying out as Cullen took his cock back in his mouth.

Cullen took his time, using long, slow movements.  He wanted this to last, and Kieran’s body was easy enough to read to control when he would cum.  He had to be careful, though.  It wasn’t going to take much to bring the boy to that edge.

But no, not yet.  This was his first time, his first blowjob, and he was delightfully expressive, his little gasps and moans so damn hot.  Cullen’s own cock hung heavy between his legs, wet and throbbing, waiting to claim the boy’s mouth, to feel every inch of it.

Kieran’s body writhed and squirmed on its own, completely independent of conscious thought.  He moaned as his pleasure mounted, as Cullen expertly brought him to the edge and held him there.

“Cullen,” he gasped on a ragged sob of need.  “Please.”

Cullen smiled inwardly, keeping Kieran on that razor edge for just a moment longer before letting him fall from it.  The boy arched his back and screamed, every muscle tensed, as he came harder than he ever had before.

His head swam, and he was barely aware of Cullen moving up his body, until he was on all fours above him.  He claimed his mouth again, and Kieran was surprised when Cullen pushed the cum into his mouth.  “Swallow it all,” he commanded softly.  “That’s a good boy.”

Kieran obeyed, seeing double, barely able to comprehend what Cullen was saying.

Cullen rewarded him by kissing him again, hard and deep, then moving to kneel above him.  He put one hand on the back of Kieran’s head, holding him tenderly, and used the other hand to push the tip of his cock against Kieran’s lips.

“Open,” he said softly.  His eyes still glazed, he obeyed, and Cullen pushed his cock deep into the warm, waiting mouth.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he whispered, thrusting smoothly into the boy’s mouth.  “Gods, you feel amazing.  That’s good, suck it deep.  Take all of it.  All the way.”

Kieran moaned, his head still swimming, his tongue sliding across the cock as it moved in and out, fucking his mouth thoroughly and deeply.

“Fuck,” Cullen moaned, grunting as his thrusts became a bit harder, pounding the back of Kieran’s throat.  “You’re going to make me cum.”

Kieran tightened his lips even more around Cullen’s cock, wanting to intensify the orgasm.  His eyes watered from the deepthroating, but he found he actually liked it.  Cullen was authoritative and firm, and didn’t give Kieran room to hesitate, but he wasn’t overly rough.  He wasn’t trying to hurt Kieran.

“Gods,” Cullen murmured.  “I’m going to cum.”

Seconds later, Cullen shoved his cock as far into Kieran’s mouth as it would go, gagging the boy as he pumped him full of cum.  He moaned as he held Kieran in place against his body, the whole of his cock in the boy’s mouth.

When the waves of his orgasm ebbed, he pulled out of Kieran’s mouth and looked down at him.  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Good,” Kieran replied, panting, still dazed from his own orgasm.

Cullen grinned.  “Can you stand?”

“I think so.”

“Well come on, get up.  We’ve still got to actually take a shower.”

Benefits of polyamory

Domina Jen,

I’m dating a single polyamorous woman.  She was up front about being poly from the beginning and I was cool with it.  We’ve been dating for a few months and now she’s looking at this guy as a potential partner.

It feels weird. I’m not a jealous guy so on one hand I’m cool with it but on the other… I don’t know I guess it feels weird because I feel like I’m supposed to not be cool with it maybe?

And the idea of telling my friends and family about it really messes with me. They’ve all met her and think she’s cool. But I know she won’t be cool with keeping her other relationship a secret.

She knows something’s up and she keeps asking me about it. I just don’t really know how to answer. Because I’m mostly cool with it but then there’s like “what if she likes the other guy more than me” and “what if she spends more time with him than me” and “what if I don’t like the guy” and all these “what if” things that just bug me.

And then of course there’s “what if she leaves me for him” and “what if she gets a disease from him that she gives to me.”

But then again she’s also cool with me going out and getting another girlfriend if I want so do I really have the right to not be cool with her if I have the same opportunity?

How do I handle this?  And can you list some of the benefits of poly relationships that can outweigh the negatives?  It’s all just kind of overwhelming.

Thanks in advance.

Hi, and thanks for writing.  These are actually very good and valid questions that a lot of people experience when they first get into polyamory.

It’s a lot to take in, and it goes against everything we were taught a relationship was supposed to be.

You being a man makes it even harder, because of cultural expectations placed the way men are supposed to behave within a relationship.  So we’ll start at the top and go down your list of questions/concerns.

First, I’m going to go through the list of terms, because that will make things so much easier through the rest of the post.

Polyamory: multiple loves

Polygamy: multiple spouses

There are two separate kinds of polygamy.  There is polygyny, which is by far the most common, in which a husband has multiple wives.  But there is a second kind, less common throughout history, called polyandry, in which a wife has multiple husbands.

In the vast majority of the world, all polygamy is illegal and criminalized.  So the terms “polygyny” and “polyandry” refer not to marriages, but to certain dynamics within polyamorous relationships.

Of course these are not the only kinds of polyamorous relationships, but polyandrous relationships consisting of one woman and two men are actually the most common type of poly relationship throughout the US and Canada.  This dynamic just seems to work.

It certainly works in my experience.

And the idea of telling my friends and family about it really messes with me.  They’ve all met her and think she’s cool.  But I know she won’t be cool with keeping her other relationship a secret.

Alright, so first of all, I absolutely don’t agree with trying to force your partner to keep something like that a secret.  The only way to get rid of the harmful misinformation and stereotypes that go with poly relationships is for people to see what a healthy poly relationship looks like.

But while you may know that intellectually, putting it into practice is something else entirely, and I get that.  It would be easier if you had a second girlfriend, but her having a second boyfriend makes things tough.

First, you have to understand that there are those who can just never accept it.  No matter what you say, no matter what you do, they’ll just cling to their ignorance with everything they have.  They’ll attack her, they’ll insult you, they’ll call her a manipulative whore, they’ll say that she’s taking advantage of you, or that she’s brainwashing you, or that she’s forcing you into a life you don’t want.

She’s likely no stranger to this kind of thing.  I don’t know a single polyandrous woman who hasn’t experienced this.  Monogamous men tend to get really upset at the idea of polyandrous relationships.  They, more often than not, are downright hostile to the women in these relationships.  Like it’s a personal attack on their masculinity or something.  The only way they can accept it is to assume she’s evil and you’re weak.

So if she’s experienced with polyandrous relationships, she’s been dealing with this for awhile.  She’s used to it.  But it’s all completely new to you, and it’ll be tough.  You’re going to have to decide how much you’re going to let the opinions of others influence you.

Which sounds like an easy thing to do, but in practice, it’s really not.  Ask any submissive guy.  It’s pretty damn tough.

Add to that the cultural expectations of men in relationships, that they’re supposed to “possess their woman.”  There’s this idea that a man can’t be a “real man” if he doesn’t claim some sort of ownership of his partner.  Which is why so many monogamous men get outright hostile about it.

And while, in my experience, the vast majority of the hostility will be directed at her, not at you, you’ll still get your fair share of it.

You’ll have to do some real soul-searching and decide how secure you are in your masculinity, because it will be attacked.  You have to decide whether you’re going to let those attacks affect you.

You’ve got to be prepared for that.  But, while that will undoubtedly happen, it actually won’t be the majority.

As it turns out, most reasonable people will actually be pretty accepting of it, even if they don’t understand it.  Chances are your friends will be curious at first; they won’t understand it, they’ll have this idea of it, but they’ll actually talk and keep open minds about it.

And with friends, it’s easy.  Even if they don’t understand you “letting” her have a second boyfriend.  There’s just one thing you have to say:

That girl at the bar is hot.  I think I’m going to go talk to her.  Flirt with her a bit, maybe if she’s willing, go back to her place.  Oh, and you know what?  I’ve got to get some pictures of us doing it.  My girlfriend loves that.

I mean, there’s just nothing your friends can say about that.  There’s nothing they can say when random drunken blowjobs and one-night stands are legitimate possibilities.

Nah bro, your argument is invalid.

Family is harder.  And I stay out of family issues, unless it starts negatively affecting me.  For example, living so close to Kazander’s family, and him keeping everything a secret from them, has started to negatively affect me.  So as soon as we get his health issues figured out, we’re moving.

The way you deal with your family is up to you, I’m not going to tell you how to handle that.  But as always, I recommend honesty.  People tend to forget that being in your life is a privilege.  It is not a right that anyone is entitle to, regardless of whether you share DNA.

If you are honest, and any member of your family gives you problems, then do you really want that family member in your life?  Why put up with it when you don’t have to?  You don’t have to let toxic people remain in your life.

Now to go through the “what-if” questions:

What if she likes the other guy more than me?  What if she leaves me for him?

This is a very common and justifiable concern with those who are new to polyamory.  But there is one thing you’re forgetting:

What’s stopping that from happening in a monogamous relationship?

Imagine I’m in a monogamous relationship with Kazander.  What’s stopping me from finding a guy that I like better than him?  A single dad at the park, a cute guy at the bar, anyone, anywhere.  There’s absolutely nothing stopping that from happening.

The difference is in a poly relationship, the forbidden appeal is gone.  And having to make a choice is gone.

I don’t have to decide whether I like one person more than the other, because I don’t have to choose between them.  I don’t have to leave one person for the other, because I don’t have to choose.  That’s literally not a line of thinking present in poly relationships.

Poly relationships have problems just as monogamous relationships do, and poly relationships end just as monogamous ones do.  But poly relationships don’t end because someone likes one partner more than the other.  Because no one is worried about that, because it’s not something you have to think about.

And that also goes for the concern about getting a disease.  In my personal experience, poly people I know tend to be extremely careful about this.  More so than monogamous people.

Because I know that it’s not just my health on the line.  Anything that one partner has could potentially be passed to me, which I could then pass on to my other partners.  I’ve taken risks with my health before, but I won’t do that with other people’s health.

And again, there’s nothing stopping that from happening in a monogamous relationship.  Anyone can go out and cheat on their partner* and get a disease, which can then be passed to their partner.  Monogamous relationships don’t protect anyone from that.

What if she spends more time with him than me?

A completely understandable question, and something that must be discussed.  Time management is important in any relationship, but especially so in poly ones.

Because a partner can feel neglected for a number of reasons in both poly and mono relationships that have nothing to do with other partners.  Your partner may spend too much time out with friends.  Too much time working.  Too much time focusing on the kids or other responsibilities, and not effectively managing time.

Poly relationships are just as vulnerable to this as mono relationships are, because now you have the added strain of other partners who need your time, as well.

It’s something that simply requires practice, and mindful time management skills, which can be learned.  It also requires open and honest communication** so that your partner can be made aware of a problem before it becomes a significant problem.

What if I don’t like the guy?

This completely depends on the situation.  If you’re all living together, this can be a significant issue.  Usually it can be fixed, but it takes a lot of work and a lot of emotional maturity on the part of everyone involved.

If you’re not living together, it’s much easier.  For me personally, if I don’t have to live with the person, it doesn’t matter at all.

I didn’t like Kazander’s girlfriend in the slightest.  Not even remotely.

But I didn’t have to deal with her, so I didn’t care.  He’d go on dates with her and I wouldn’t have to see her.  She’d come over, I’d do the polite greeting thing, then they’d go into the bedroom while I watched TV.  I didn’t have to socialize with her, I didn’t have to spend time with her, I didn’t have to do anything.

Now, if I was in a situation where I had to spend time with her, that would be a problem, and quite honestly, I would not have allowed that relationship to begin in the first place.

Because in poly relationships, your current partner(s) must always take priority over potential ones.  Whenever I begin a new relationship, or am even considering beginning a new relationship, I ask my current partners what they think.  And their opinions and thoughts carry quite a bit of weight.

If you don’t get along with the guy, you need to say something ASAP, so the three of you can figure out what to do about it.  Again, a lot of times, it can be fixed.  But you have to be very open and honest about your feelings and what’s going through your head.  And you have to say something immediately.  Don’t wait until it’s a big problem.

How do I handle this?

Honesty.

It’s so important.  You have to tell your girlfriend what you’re feeling.  If you struggle with it, then you’ve just got to find a way to make it work.  A lot of guys struggle with this, because men culturally aren’t allowed to have feelings, much less talk about them, but you’ve got to do it anyway.

If you struggle with a conversation, try writing her a letter, instead.  I had an ex who really struggled with this, so what we ended up doing was going into separate rooms with our laptops, and literally IM each other.

Yeah, I felt stupid at first.  But you know what?  It worked.  It was a lot easier for him to talk about our problems when I wasn’t sitting there in front of him.  It was easier for him to tell me what was going through his head.  Writing it was easier, it helped him organize his thoughts, it helped him open up in a way that he just couldn’t when we were sitting in the same room, talking to each other face to face.

It’s not ideal, but it worked.  Whatever you need to do to talk to her, do it.  It’s the single most important thing, it’s the single most important responsibility you will have, and if you can’t do it, the relationship will fail.

And that’ll be on your shoulders.

And can you list some of the benefits of poly relationships that can outweigh the negatives?

With pleasure.

First, I’ll use Kazander’s ex as an example.

I’ve got a pretty high libido.  But even I have days when I’m just not feeling it.  I also have days where I just want to be left the fuck alone.  Not because I’m angry or in a bad mood or anything, it’s just one of my quirks.  I need to be left the fuck alone occasionally.

And sometimes, the times I want to be left the fuck alone coincide with the times Kazander wants to get all up on me.

Any other time, I’d be totally into it.  But more than a few times, when I’ve been in my leave-me-the-fuck-alone moods, it’s caused tension.

When he had his girlfriend, he could spend time with her.  It was a relief for me, actually, because I could get time to myself.  Or maybe I didn’t specifically want time to myself, but maybe I just wasn’t horny that day.  Maybe I wasn’t feeling well.  Maybe I was stressed or annoyed or whatever, and didn’t want sex.

Enter his girlfriend.  It took the pressure off of me, because I wasn’t the only source of sexual/intimate companionship he had available to him.

That doesn’t sound like a big deal, but all I can say is that you won’t understand how much of a relief it is until you live it.  It’s one of those little things people take for granted in mono relationships.  It’s one of those little annoyances you don’t even really register.

But the first time you’re not feeling it, and she is, and she can get it somewhere else, and leave you alone, you’ll feel it.  You’ll feel that relief, and you’ll be able to just sit back and watch TV or surf the web or play video games or read or whatever you want to do.  It’ll be a big relief, and it’ll be surprising, because you’ll realize just how much that has annoyed you in the past.

Other women I’ve spoken to, who were in polygynous relationships, expressed a similar sentiment.  For example, one of the girls in a polygynous D/s relationship, had been nervous when they’d first opened their relationship and her Master collared another girl.

But as it turns out, the original girl hated giving blowjobs.  She would do it, of course, because that’s what she was told to do, but she never liked it, and her Master knew that, so he didn’t make her do it all that often.

The new girl, however, enjoyed giving blowjobs.  So all of a sudden, the original girl didn’t have to anymore.  And she told me that she didn’t realize how much tension there was and how much pressure she felt because of it.  Her exact words were, “Nothing prepares you for the relief you feel.  It’s like a weight off your shoulders that you never knew you had.”

So I know it doesn’t seem like much now, but once it happens, you’ll be surprised at what a relief that is.

And there’s another thing.  I’ll use Kazander and Sounder as examples.

As I’ve said before, Kazander sucks at listening when I’m upset.  Venting to him ends up with me being even more annoyed or angry than I was in the beginning.  It’s not because he’s trying to be disrespectful, and his heart is in the right place, but it’s something he’s just never been good at, and he likely won’t change now.  It caused a lot of tension in the relationship.

Sounder, on the other hand, is eerily good at that.  He’s very good at being sympathetic and supportive, and he knows exactly what to say to calm me down.  Like, the first time or two it happened, I was actually taken aback at how effective it was, and how fast I went from full-on outraged psycho bitch to just moderate irritation at the situation I was venting about.

Okay, so awesome.  I don’t vent to Kazander anymore.  I don’t pressure him to be something he’s not, I don’t pressure him to act or speak in a way that doesn’t come naturally to him.  I don’t need to make him be what I need him to be, because I can get what I need from Sounder.  I can talk to Sounder, I can get what I need, whether it’s advice or just a supportive ear, and I don’t have to try to make Kazander be someone he’s not.

And in this specific situation, it also eases some tension in my relationship with Kazander, because I used to get even more annoyed after venting to him, and that doesn’t happen anymore.  Plenty of arguments have been avoided because I go to Sounder instead of Kazander.

Conversely, Sounder is not a super cuddly person.  He’s very loyal and caring, he’s just not physically affectionate.  He shows his affection in other ways.

This works for me, because I’m often the same way.  But sometimes, I want more.

And Sounder is a very good, obedient sissy.  He cuddles with me on the couch because he knows I want it.  He hugs me because he knows I love hugging him.  He bends over backwards to give me everything I want, and of course that includes physical affection.  It’s just not something he necessarily wants, himself.

While Kazander is much more physically affectionate.  He actually says I could stand to be more physically affectionate, myself, that I don’t cuddle enough.  He enjoys lying in bed, just doing nothing but cuddling.  He enjoys lying on the couch, his head in my lap or leaning back against me, resting his head on my chest.

Okay, so awesome.  I can get the physical closeness from Kazander, and I don’t have to pressure Sounder to do something that doesn’t come naturally to him.  I don’t need to try and “change” him, because I can get what I need from Kazander.

Does that mean I don’t cuddle with Sounder?  Of course not.  He’s mine, I love being close to him, and I never pass up the opportunity to do it.  He also would not hesitate to cuddle with me if I told him to, and he hasn’t hesitated when I told him to.  But since I don’t have to rely on him exclusively for it, I don’t have to make him do something he doesn’t necessarily enjoy all the time.

And honestly, it frees me up to just enjoy both of them for who they are.  I can appreciate them for who they are as men and for who they are as my subs, because I don’t need to make either of them fit exactly what I need in any given relationship.  I feel like I appreciate them even more because I don’t have to try to change them.

It takes the pressure off of them, too.  Because they don’t have to be everything to me, every second of every day.

Because no one can ever be everything to someone else.  That’s not how human beings work.  And if I was in a monogamous relationship with Kazander, I’d just have to deal with my problems on my own, without support, or we’d get into arguments because he unintentionally belittles me when I’m already in a not-super-great mood.

If I was in a monogamous relationship with Sounder, he’d have to deal with more physical affection than he wants.  I have no doubt that he’d give it to me without hesitation, but he’s just not the type to enjoy lying in bed, cuddling, for an hour.  But he’d have to do it, whether he’s into it or not.

Poly relationships have their flaws, but this is a pretty glaring flaw in monogamous relationships.  Each partner has to be everything to the other.  They have to meet their partner’s needs all the time, 24/7.  Sometimes, it’s easy, sometimes, it takes a bit of work and compromise, and sometimes, it’s damn hard.

That pressure just doesn’t exist to the same level in poly relationships.

I want to live with Sounder and Kazander, and that has benefits, as well.  I’ve lived with more than one partner before, and both times I did were positive experiences.

First of all, another income coming into the house is never a bad thing.  The second time was when I lived in Alabama, when I was working 90 hours a week and netting less than $600 a paycheck.  I literally had weeks where I had to decide whether to put my last $3 in my gas tank so I could get to work for the next 4 days, or use it to buy ramen noodles so we could eat for the next 4 days.

My second sub moved in, and having another income was pretty damn awesome, and gave me some financial breathing room.

It also helps because now you have another pair of hands to help out around the house, run errands, etc.  If I was exhausted after a long shift and one partner was busy, I could ask the other to run and grab dinner, or fold a load of laundry, or pick up my dry-cleaning, or change the oil in my car, or whatever.

It helped me relax, because I didn’t have as many responsibilities around the house.

Some people worry about raising kids in an environment like that, and it’s absolute bullshit.  When is having yet another person to love and protect a child ever a bad thing?

I have a friend who has been married for 15 years, and has had a boyfriend for… 8, I think?  I don’t remember.  But they’ve all been living together the entire time.  She has an 11-year-old daughter, and she loves that her daughter has two strong, large, intimidating men who love her.

She laments the fact that her husband (the father of her daughter) and her boyfriend often conspire together to think up new ways to freak out the daughter’s future boyfriends.  I wanna think her husband is 6’2″ and her boyfriend is 6’4″ or something like that.  They’re both tall, broad, big guys.

She says her poor daughter won’t get a boyfriend until she’s 30.  Of course, neither her husband nor her boyfriend see a single problem with that.

The only possible negatives as far as the daughter goes is the way some people react when they find out that her parents are poly.  There have been issues with some teachers in different schools when the daughter was younger, but now that she’s getting older, with a thicker skin, those problems have more or less disappeared.  And they call the boyfriend her step-dad.  It’s the easiest way to describe his relationship to her, it doesn’t require a lot of involved explanations (even if her dad and stepdad are together), and people just generally don’t pry.

Step-parents are common enough that no one cares.  Even those who might raise a brow at her dad and step-dad out together with her don’t say anything.  They usually just assume the two men are gay.

As far as assets or whatever, that could get tricky.  Say, if you decide to buy a house, whose name will the house be in?  If the three of you decide to buy a new car, how will the payments be handled.  How will the money be handled in general?  How will bills be divided?

So if you move in together, those are things you need to think about and talk about before you make the move, that’s a mistake I think a lot of less-experienced poly people make, but you’re obviously not at that point, yet.

Another benefit is just the level of support you get.  For example, when Steel and I broke up, I had Kazander and Sounder who were there for me.  Anything bad that happens, I have two men who care about me and will be there for me.

And that goes for Sounder and Kazander, too.  They haven’t spent much time together yet, but they’re both compassionate men, and they share a connection through me.  I have no doubt they’d support each other if needed.

Also, due to the nature of our relationship, there aren’t a whole lot of people either of them can talk to if they need to vent about the relationship, or if they’re feeling anxious, or if one of them got in an argument with me, or whatever.

Their situations are unique, and not a lot of people can relate to anything they might be feeling or problems they may have that pertain to the relationship specifically.  But they can certainly relate to each other.

I mean, the benefits are many, and they’re significant.

*Most monogamous people I’ve spoken to have assumed that we’re cheating on each other, it’s just that we know about it.

Yeah, no.

Polyamory is not the same as cheating, and you’ll likely find that you have to answer this question a lot.  I define cheating as breaking the rules of the relationship.  In monogamous relationships, having sex with someone else (or maybe even just flirting with someone else) breaks the rules of the relationship.

Poly relationships have different rules, but there are rules, and you’ll have to hash out exactly what those rules and boundaries are.  Maybe you’re cool with your girlfriend having another boyfriend, but you’re not cool with her doing one-night stands.  Or maybe you’re cool with it, as long as she tells you beforehand, even if it’s just a quick text.  I mean, the rules are whatever you want them to be.

If either of you break those rules, you’re cheating.

In my relationships, dishonesty and deceit are breaking the rules.  Kazander, for example, has had a girlfriend, and still sees her once in awhile.  If he were to suddenly stop telling me about when he sees her, or if he suddenly started going behind my back to see her, or anyone, that would be cheating.

** Honest, open communication is the single most important thing in poly relationships, and they cannot succeed without it.

But something you’ll very soon realize is that this kind of openness and honesty is hard.

You’ll realize how often you let minor annoyances go in monogamous relationships.  You’ll realize how often something will bother you, but you don’t speak up because you don’t want to start a fight, or you don’t want to be a burden to your partner, or whatever.  You’ll realize how often you do without, how often your needs go unmet, because you don’t want to make a big deal about it, or maybe you just don’t think it’s that big of a deal.

That can’t happen in poly relationships, and it will be tough to do.  It’s not something that comes naturally to us.  It’s not something we’re accustomed to doing.  It will be uncomfortable.  It will be unsettling and unnerving.  But you have to do it.  There’s just no alternative.  The relationship will fail if you don’t.

Do whatever it takes, but you’ve got to be open and honest with your partner, about everything.

It’s a challenging, fulfilling relationship.  It’s not for everybody, but it seems like most of your fears and concerns have more to do with societal norms and what you’ve been told you’re supposed to feel.

My advice is to trust your gut and trust your partner.  Be honest with her, expect her to be honest with you, and forget about what society says you should want.

Written in Stone, Part 6

The next two days were quiet and pleasant, and passed peacefully.

When she wasn’t at her symposium, Charis spent most of her time either in her bedroom or her training room, with Rowyn.  Often, moaning could be heard from the hallway.

“Yeah, they’re like a couple of rabbits whenever they’ve been apart for any length of time,” Cullen said as Kieran paused outside the training room on the way to breakfast.  “They might start getting back to normal today, or it might be tomorrow.”

Kieran nodded, smiling shyly as Cullen put his arm around the boy’s shoulders.

He still wasn’t sure how to take Cullen.  The man was friendly and cheerful, but boisterous and irreverent.  He was always smiling, always joking, always teasing, even to his owners.

But somehow, he always kept a unique sort of balance between the respectful reverence slaves were expected to show, and the good-natured playfulness.

And underneath it all was an intensity that stunned Kieran the few times he’d seen it.  He would not forget the darkness in Cullen’s eyes when Ilya had lost his temper.  When Ilya had pushed Charis, Cullen had been there, all the friendly playfulness gone from his eyes, replaced by a grim determination.

Kieran had no doubt Cullen would’ve stepped between his owners to protect Charis.  When he saw that look in the man’s eyes, he was completely sure that Cullen would’ve even gone as far as physically attacking Ilya.  Such a move would undoubtedly cost a slave his life.

And Kieran was absolutely sure that Cullen would’ve done it.

That determination, that darkness was nowhere in Cullen’s eyes now.  Now, they danced with playful mischief.

“Want to see what they’re doing in there?” he asked quietly, gesturing to the closed door.

“What?”

“You’re not curious?  They’ve been in there for a long time.  Want to see what they’re doing?”

Kieran blushed.  “I don’t think Domina would approve of that,” he said quietly.

“Sure she would,” he replied, his smile widening.  “She’d just expect us to join in.  So it’s a win-win.”

Kieran lowered his eyes, blushing even deeper.

Suddenly, the door opened and Charis stood there, grinning, at the two of them.  “You’re not nearly as quiet as you’d like to think you are,” she said to Cullen.

“You mean you heard my dastardly plan?” Cullen cried, feigning surprise.  “Oh, I’ve been foiled!”

She laughed, pulling him close for a kiss.  “You’re such a horny slut,” she murmured.

“You wouldn’t want me any other way,” he returned, meeting her kiss passionately.

“You’re right,” she conceded.  Then, she pulled away, her hand going between his legs.  “So are you just going to stand there, all hard and dripping?  Or are you going to come in?”

Cullen whined, thrusting into her hand.  “I want to come in,” he murmured.

“I thought so.”

She turned to Kieran, smiling warmly at him.  “What about you, Kieran?” she asked.  “Do you want to come in?”

Kieran’s face flamed red, unsure of how to respond.  The thought of all three of them was intimidating, but he didn’t want to tell his owner no.

Somehow, as she always did, Charis saw his thoughts in his eyes.

“Not yet,” she answered for him, a warm, reassuring smile on her face.  “Soon, though.”

Soon happened later that night, after dinner.  Charis pulled him into her room and closed the door behind them.

“Take your clothes off, love,” she said.

Kieran immediately obeyed, stepping out of his tunic and standing in the center of the room, adopting the appropriate stance.

A moment later, he felt her hand on his waist, moving across his back and up to his shoulder.  As always, her touch sent chills down his spine.

“How are you feeling?” she asked quietly.

“Good, Domina.”

She smiled at him.  “Good.  Now that you’ve had a few days to adjust and get your bearings, I’m going to start training you in earnest.  I want to talk to you a bit, get to know you, so I can decide what I’m going to be training you for.”

Kieran furrowed his brow, confused by that.  “Domina?” he asked.

“I want to know what you like,” she explained.  “Where you’re comfortable.  So I can figure out where you’ll be happiest.”

He was even more confused than he’d been before her explanation.  Why would his happiness matter?  He was a slave.  His life was to serve.  That was his purpose.  Why would his happiness influence anything?

“You’re still confused,” she observed, smiling warmly.

He couldn’t help but smile, himself.  “A little.”

“You’re a slave, but you’re still a man,” she said patiently.  “You still have a personality.  You still have personal strengths and weaknesses.  Those strengths and weaknesses affect what kind of slave you are, and how you serve.”

Kieran’s mind rebelled against that idea.  He was supposed to be whatever kind of slave his owner wanted, and serve in whatever way his owner wanted.  His personality was supposed to be pleasing to his owner.  His strengths and weaknesses were supposed to be what his owner wanted them to be.

“I-I’m yours, Domina,” he stammered, unsure of what she wanted him to say.

“Yes, you are.  Your body is mine, but your mind is yours alone.  Knowing who you are, and embracing who you are, will help you find happiness in your service.”

No.

If he allowed himself to acknowledge happiness, the kind of happiness she was talking about, that means he’d also be allowing himself to acknowledge sadness, too.  Bitterness.  Disappointment.

No, he couldn’t do that.  His life was simple, now.  All he had to do was serve.  It was his entire life, it was what drove him.  He couldn’t let that go.

Obey.  Just obey.

“Hey,” Charis said gently, putting a reassuring hand on his face.  “It’s okay.  You’re alright.  You don’t have to be afraid.  It’s alright, we’ll drop the subject for now.”

Kieran took a deep, steadying breath, not realizing until just then that his heart was racing.  He leaned his head into her hand, wanting the closeness and security she offered.

She hugged him for a moment, then pulled away and walked to her nightstand, pressing a button on her cell phone.  “Well, I’ve seen how well you service women.  Now I want to see how you service a man.”

“Yes, Domina,” he answered, relieved.  Whatever she wanted him to do, with whoever she wanted him to do it with, would be easier than this conversation.

“That’s what most of your experience is with, right?” she asked.  “Servicing men?”

“Yes, Domina.  Lord Roubanis did not have many women friends.”

“Did you often service his friends?”

Kieran nodded, lowering his gaze.  “He was proud of me,” he murmured.  “He liked to show me off.”

“How?”

He took a deep breath.  “They used my body in many ways, Domina,” he said.  “Fucking me, beating me, humiliating me.  Whatever they wanted.”

She held his gaze, her eyes dark and wide with compassion.  “You’re so young,” she whispered.  “And you’ve been through so much.”

Kieran averted his gaze, the color rising in his cheeks.  He didn’t know how to respond to that.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Rowyn walked in.

“You called me, Domina?” he asked.

“Yes, come in,” Charis replied, stepping away from Kieran.  “Take off your clothes.  Kieran is going to suck your cock.”

The suddenness and directness of her comment took Kieran by surprise, but Rowyn only flashed a friendly smile as he pulled his tunic off.

“Go on, pet,” Charis urged.

Kieran dropped to his knees at Rowyn’s feet, taking the older man’s cock in his mouth without hesitation.  This was something familiar to him, something he knew, something he was confident that he could do well.

The familiarity was comforting as he felt Rowyn’s cock filling his mouth.  He slid his tongue across the erect member, easily taking the entire length.

“Oh, gods, Domina,” Rowyn moaned, holding Kieran’s head with both hands.  “His mouth is amazing.”

Kieran closed his eyes, shutting everything out but the feel and taste of Rowyn.

So this was what it felt like to be enjoyed.  Rowyn wasn’t rough with him, he didn’t try to choke or gag him.  He wasn’t necessarily gentle, but his movements were smooth and fluid, as if he wanted to experience every inch of Kieran’s mouth.

It was nice, actually.  His mouth wasn’t being fucked to humiliate or hurt him.  Rowyn wasn’t fucking him just for the sake of fucking him.  He was fucking him for the pleasure of his mouth.  And his smooth movements, along with the quiet moans and grunts, almost seemed appreciative.

And Kieran was surprised to feel somewhat empowered.  It was quite clear that Rowyn was enjoying this, and Kieran was the one who was giving it to him.  Kieran could control Rowyn’s pleasure, he could manipulate what the man felt.

He found himself wanting to experiment with this new idea.  He tightened his lips, pressing the flat of his tongue firmly against the underside of Rowyn’s cock.

Rowyn gasped softly, his grip on Kieran’s hair tightening.  Kieran felt a shudder go through the older man, his cock throbbing and his legs twitching.

And Kieran felt a great surge of pride.

It was oddly exhilarating.

“Stop,” Charis said suddenly, surprising Kieran.  Somehow, he’d forgotten she was even in the room.

Immediately, Rowyn pulled away, his cock throbbing.  Kieran noticed that he was panting just a little.

“Enjoying yourself?” Charis asked Rowyn playfully.

“Yes, Domina,” he answered huskily.

“Good.  Go ahead and fuck him.  I want you to finish in his ass.”

“Yes, Domina.”

And Kieran felt his heart plummet to his toes.  Somewhat robotically, he lowered himself to all fours, his eyes glued to the carpet, obediently pushing his ass out, waiting for Rowyn to kneel down behind him.

But that didn’t happen.

“Kieran.”

Charis’ voice startled him, and he looked up to meet her gaze.

“You’re afraid,” she said softly.  It wasn’t a question, and she didn’t give him a chance to confirm or deny it.  “Why are you afraid?”

Kieran opened his mouth to answer, and faltered, unable to find the words.

“Have you ever enjoyed being fucked?”

Kieran’s heart pounded, and every instinct told him to lie.  But he knew better, he knew she already knew the answer to her question, and he knew that he needed to tell her the truth.

“No, Domina.”

Charis nodded.  “Alright, I won’t have him fuck you yet.  He’ll finish in your mouth, instead.”

Kieran gave a sigh of relief.  “Yes, Domina.”

Rowyn moved closer, putting a gentle hand on the back of Kieran’s neck, and pushed his cock into Kieran’s mouth.

“Be just a little rougher with him,” Charis said.  “Only a little.”

“Yes, Domina,” Rowyn replied, firmly holding Kieran in place and fucking his mouth.

Kieran shut his eyes tight, pushing all thoughts out of his head except for the cock in his mouth, and what he had to do.  Rowyn was big, and hit the back of Kieran’s throat with each thrust, but years of training had taught Kieran to suppress the gag reflex, and he took the cock easily.

And while Rowyn was forceful and firm, he wasn’t cruel, and he didn’t hurt Kieran.  The hand on his neck stayed gentle, even after Kieran expected him to grab a fistful of his hair.  His movements were very deliberate, and it became obvious to Kieran that he was thinking just as much about Kieran’s comfort as he was about his own pleasure.

“May I cum, Domina?” Rowyn asked after a few moments.

“Yes.”

Rowyn’s grip on him hardened just slightly, and his rhythm picked up, pounding hard into Kieran’s mouth.

A few seconds later, Rowyn moaned, pushing his cock as deep into Kieran’s mouth as it would go, his body jerking as he came.

Kieran swallowed, remaining still as the quickly softening cock throbbed in his mouth.  He waited obediently for Rowyn to release him.

Rowyn sighed, then stepped back, pulling out of Kieran’s mouth.  He smiled down at him, caressing his face once, and then affectionately ruffling his hair.

“How was he?” Charis asked.

“Fantastic, Domina.”

Kieran blushed, looking away from those bright blue eyes.  He really did feel powerful, having given Rowyn that pleasure, and it made him feel warm and tingly to know that Rowyn had enjoyed him, and that he’d done well.

Charis approached, wrapped an arm around Rowyn, and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.  “Thank you, pet,” she said.  “Go on, we’ll be out soon.”

“Yes, Domina,” Rowyn answered, reaching down to grab his tunic.  Without another word, he quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.

Once they were alone, Charis sat on the bed and gestured for Kieran to come to her.  He quickly obeyed, kneeling at her feet and resting his chin on her knee.

“You’ve been exceptionally obedient,” she said softly, stroking his hair.  “And you’re very good at hiding your feelings when made to do something you don’t want to do.  But no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to hide the things you’re afraid of.”

“I’m sorry, Domina.”

“No, love, you don’t have to be sorry.  After what you’ve been through, I think you’re completely justified in being afraid to be fucked.  Anyone would fear it.”

“Yes, Domina,” he murmured, relieved.

She lifted his chin to meet his gaze.  “I’m going to teach you not to fear it,” she told him.  “And to take pleasure from it, even if you don’t like the person fucking you.”

Kieran’s heart began to race.  “Yes, Domina.”

“Do you trust that I won’t hurt you?”

“Yes, Domina,” he replied, his voice shaking.  He was pretty sure he trusted her, she’d been gentle with him so far.  But the idea of being penetrated by anyone, even her, was enough to make his muscles lock with fear.

“Come on, then,” she ordered softly.  “Get on the bed.  On all fours.”

Trembling, Kieran stiffly moved to obey her command.  His face flamed and his heart raced as he stared down at the sheets beneath him, feeling her move behind him and wondering what she was doing.

“This is not supposed to hurt,” she told him.  “If it does, I want you to tell me.”

“Yes, Domina,” he replied, unable to stop from cringing as her fingertip pressed against his entrance.

“Good.  Now take a deep breath.”

Somehow, Kieran managed to obey.  How, he had no idea, his chest had seized up with fear and dread.  His arms shook as they supported his weight, and the sharp sting of tears could be felt behind his eyes.

Slowly, gently, she eased a single, slender finger into him.  Kieran whimpered, his vision blurring with tears.

“That’s it,” she said reassuringly, running the fingers of her other hand along his back.  “Good boy.  That’s as deep as it goes.  You’ve taken it all.”

He sighed audibly, though he still trembled.

She was right, it didn’t hurt.  Objectively, it didn’t even feel bad.  But years of associating penetration with pain were not easy to let go.

“Deep breaths, love,” she said.  “You’re doing wonderfully.”

The softness of her voice and the reassuring praise helped.  He took a deep breath, trying to forget what his life was like before her, trying to focus only on now, only on her touch, on her voice.  He tried not to remember what it meant before when someone penetrated him.

“Are you ready for me to start moving it?” she asked gently.  “Or would you rather have another minute or so of it just being still?”

Having her ask that question felt more odd and awkward than the finger inside him.  “I’m ready,” he replied.  He didn’t think he’d ever get used to being given a say in what was done to him.

All thoughts of that flew from his mind, however, when her finger began slowly moving back and forth.

He’d never been fucked without it hurting before, and the pain had masked every other sensation.  Without that pain, the feeling was intense and foreign, and made him feel vulnerable and, surprisingly enough, aroused.

He gasped, his hands balled into fists.  The finger inside him stilled.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“Yes,” he managed to croak, wanting the movement again.

When she started fingering him again, he closed his eyes and lowered his face to the bed, moaning softly.

“Well it looks like you can at least tolerate this,” she said.  “Now let’s try something else.”

The movement of her finger changed.  Instead of thrusting smoothly in and out of him, it went deeper, her hand pushing against him, her finger exploring inside him.

Suddenly she touched something…. Something powerful, deep inside him.  It sent bolts of lightning up and down his spine, all the way to his fingers and toes.  He gasped, his body jerking with the intensity of the sensation.

“Ahh, there it is,” she murmured, massaging that spot.

Kieran cried out, pleasure exploding from his belly, shooting up and down his cock, up and down his spine, making his entire body tingle uncontrollably.

“Oh, you’re especially sensitive,” Charis said.  “Do you enjoy this?”

“Yes, Domina,” he gasped, pushing back against her.

Dear gods, he actually enjoyed it.

But then, how could he not?  Whatever she touched inside of him completely took control of him.

“Good.  I’m going to put a second finger in.  It’s still supposed to feel good, so tell me if it doesn’t.”

“Yes, Domina,” he answered, a strange mix of desire and fear building in him at the thought of another finger.  On one hand, he was still afraid of the pain that so often came with any kind of penetration.  But he was surprised to find himself actually wanting something bigger inside him.

She slid the second finger in, stretching him.  Squirming and writhing, he cried out as he was filled up.  The second finger made the sensations even more intense.  There was a slight tinge of pain, but surprisingly enough, he liked it.  It brought the pleasure into sharper focus.

Moaning, he pushed back against her as her fingers sunk all the way inside him, stretching him.

He almost screamed when he felt an unexpected hand on his cock, stroking him.

“That’s a good boy,” she said approvingly, using long, fluid movements on him.

He could feel the tension building in him, hot and sweet, as she massaged him inside and out.  The feel of her hand on him, the feel of her inside him quickly brought him to the threshold.

“Domina,” he gasped.  “Can I cum?”

“Yes, love,” she answered.

Mere seconds later, the tension in his belly exploded, and he cried out, collapsing on the bed, completely spent.

“Very good boy,” she murmured, running her fingertips along his back.

Kieran moaned softly, curling himself around her, wanting to be close to her.  He felt open and vulnerable, but safe and protected.

“So was it as bad as you thought it would be?” she asked playfully.

Kieran closed his eyes.  “I didn’t know it could be like that,” he whispered breathlessly.  Charis laughed.

“And that’s just a finger.  Wait until it’s a cock.”

Shuddering, Kieran buried his face in her lap.  Gods, a cock?  How would he survive something like that?

How would he survive her?

“Come on,” she said, patting him on the leg.  “Get up.  Let’s go to the bathroom.”

“Yes, Domina.”

Somehow, he managed to get his body to move.  His limbs shaking, he staggered to his feet, reaching out to her for support.

She readily helped him, holding him close as she reached down to push another button on her cell phone.  “Come,” she said gently, leading him through the bedroom and into the master bathroom.

Kieran realized he’d never been in the room before.  It looked much like the bathroom down the hall from his room.  The bathtub was in the same place, but larger.  Two vanities sat against opposite walls, the mirrors and counters running the length of the walls.  At the back was a large shower with two showerheads.

Charis led him to the bathtub and turned on the faucet.  He watched, his body still tingling, as she poured a sweet-smelling liquid into the bathtub, just as she’d done his first night there.

But unlike his first night there, she rose and removed her peplos.  And unlike his first night there, the thought of being in the bath with her brought no fear.  The sight of her naked still intimidated him, but by now he knew that she wouldn’t hurt him.

He watched quietly as she stepped into the tub, sitting on the curved seat and leaning back against the porcelain.

“Come,” she said, inviting him to sit with her.

He obeyed, stepping into the warm water.  She opened her arms and he went into them willingly, sitting between her legs and leaning back against her chest.

“Good boy,” she murmured, kissing his ear softly as she took a soft washcloth from the edge of the tub, dipped it in the warm water, and placed it on his chest.

Kieran’s head swam.  The afterglow of his orgasm, the warmth of the water, the feel of her bathing him, and the intimacy of being in her arms made it difficult to focus on anything else.  He was barely even aware of Rowyn entering the room.

“You called, Domina?”

“Yes, love,” she replied.  “The comforter on my bed has been soiled.  Will you please throw it in the wash and put a new one on?”

“Yes, Domina.”

“Thank you, my love.”

He smiled at her, then turned and left to fulfill her command, and she turned her attention back to Kieran.

The young boy lied limp against her as she bathed him, his breathing slow and even, his eyes closed, his expression calm and relaxed.  For the first time since she’d purchased him, fear wasn’t etched into the lines of his face.  The corners of his lips weren’t turned in that worried frown he always wore.  His brow wasn’t furrowed with worry.

As beautiful as he was when he was when she’d bought him, he was even more beautiful once the fear disappeared from his face.

She watched him, taking in his expression as her hand lowered beneath the surface of the water, down his stomach, between his legs.

He gasped softly at the feel of her hands on him, but the fear didn’t return to his face.  His expression was still relaxed, his breathing still even, his body still limp as he lied against her.

Gently, tenderly, she bathed him, every inch of him.  And the more she touched him, the more relaxed he became, until she wondered if he would fall asleep right there, in the bath.

When she was done, she set the washcloth down and kissed his forehead gently.  “Come on, love,” she whispered, rising to her feet.

He took her hand, his eyes opening to look up at her.

She helped him out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself, then grabbed another and gently toweled him dry.  Once she was done, she led him through the bedroom, down the hall, to his room.

“Go on, pet,” she said, pulling the blankets back.  “Lie down.”

Wordlessly, he obeyed her, climbing into his bed and resting his head on the pillow.  But even as he moved, he reached for her, wanting to be close to her.

Charis was happy to oblige him, lying down beside him.  For the first time, he actually turned to her, moving closer to her and nuzzling into her.  He gave a soft, contented sigh and fell asleep in her arms.

You are getting sleepy…

1

Very, very sleepy…

Hypnosis has always been a casual interest of mine.  I mean, with as obsessed as I am with psychology, of course I’m at least somewhat interested in hypnosis.

… As a therapeutic tool, done by a licensed professional.

That stage stuff is bullshit, of course.  And I’ve seen FemDom hypnotists who claimed to be able to control the minds of their subs.

That stuff, I was never all that interested in.  I dabbled in it once or twice, but it never really stuck.

Until, of course, Sounder came along.

We’d tried hypnosis once before… God, I don’t even know how long ago.  I did a Google search, studied it for 10-ish minutes, and then we tried it out.

It didn’t work.  And honestly, I wasn’t surprised.  Anyone who has known Sounder for more than a day could guess that he’s not easy to put in a trance.  I just figured he was one of those people who are impossible to hypnotize, and we left it alone.

But I kinda don’t like not knowing how to do something, or not being able to do something.  For months, it bugged me.

And then it occurred to me: What if he’s not impossible to hypnotize, but it’s just blocked somehow?

When I was in my early twenties, hypnotherapy was recommended to me.  So I went to two different hypnotherapists, and neither of them could get me into a trance.  A friend of mine recommended the woman she saw to help her quit smoking, and spoke the world of her.

So I went to see her (we’ll call her Psylocke).  But the entire appointment, she didn’t even try to hypnotize me.  We just talked.  Same with the second appointment.

I was sitting there thinking, “What gives?”

But she knew what the hell she was doing.  When she finally did hypnotize me, I went under super quick, and ended up being one of the easiest people to hypnotize.

So two professionals said I was impossible to hypnotize, but I wasn’t.  The same could be true for Sounder.

Psylocke and I ended up being friends for a bit, after I stopped being her patient, until she moved away.  So I messaged her on Facebook, asking why I was so hard for the others but easy for her.

She explained that my self control is a very big part of my psyche, and I couldn’t let it go enough to go into trance.  So she needed to get to know me first, so she would know how to convince me to let go of that control.

Well, gee, that doesn’t sound like anyone else I know.

Cool, so I already know Sounder really well.  It was just a matter of using what I know, with what Psylocke knows, to figure out how to get him to let go of his self control.

Back to Google.  This time, slightly more than 10 minutes.

15-ish hours later (I’ve been known to be just a teensy bit obsessive when I’m super focused on something), I had a plan, and a script.  I knew exactly what traits in him to appeal to, how to convince his brain to let go, how to seduce his subconscious into handing over that control.

Because control is my drug, and one way or another, I’m getting my fix.

I was pretty confident.  What I had, what I’d written, should work.  It was something that would appeal to his curiosity, his competitiveness, his perfectionism, his desire to serve and obey me, and his need to be taken, conquered, thoroughly and wholly owned.  If there was any possibility at all for him to be hypnotized, this would do it.

So I was cautiously optimistic when I got to his house.  He lied down on the bed, got comfortable, and I got started.

Half an hour later, I counted him back up and was eager to see if it worked.

Of course I could’ve just asked him.  But there are much more effective ways to get that kind of information.  His mind is hard to read, but his body is a completely different matter, and I can say with absolute certainty that no one knows it better than I do.  That would tell me how well it had worked.

I knelt down beside him on the bed and rolled him onto his side, my hand between his legs, rubbing his p-spot.

It didn’t take him long to start grinding against my hand, moaning softly.

He already squirms like a girl, this isn’t anything new.  But immediately I noticed a difference.  He’s already an eager slut, but that was ramped up to an amazing level.  He squirmed and thrashed under me, he gasped and moaned, he whimpered and whined.

And I quickly discovered something even more amazing, something very, very, very useful to me.

His sluttiness and his hunger completely overtook his mind.  I found myself painting for him a picture of the future, the first time he feels a man’s hand between his legs instead of mine, the first time he is bent over and fucked, hard and fast, from both ends, by a group of men.

It was a very depraved, very dark picture.  I have a very vivid imagination, and made good use of it.

Any other time, hearing things only half as twisted would have made him cringe.  But not this time.  He agreed to it, he yearned for it, he craved it.

It actually became a bit of a game.  I knelt over him, bringing him to orgasm after orgasm after orgasm, getting even more depraved, even more twisted, even more fucked up.  It became a game to see if I would hit on something that would cause that familiar cringe.

I never reached that point, though.  No matter how fucked up I got, no matter how deep I took him, he was right there with me, wanting it.  Every time I said something new, every time I told him a new detail, he’d gasp and moan eagerly, arching his back and desperately humping my hand.

Hell yeah, the hypnosis had an effect.  A totally amazing, awesome effect.

Even more of an effect than I realized, actually.  The next morning, he told me that he was still in that trance-like headspace through the entire session, until we went downstairs.  That, I hadn’t expected.  And I can definitely take advantage of it.

Awesome, so hypnosis works, and I now know how to put him in a sweet, slutty, submissive headspace.  Mindless and agreeable.  Empty and obedient.

It opens up a whole new world of opportunities.  It’s a whole new level of control over him.

The things I can do to him, the triggers I can put in his head…

It’s going to be an obscene amount of fun.

Written in Stone, Part 5

Kieran had no idea how much time had passed, but he found that he remembered more than he thought he had, and that he enjoyed reading.  All it took was some prompting from Taber, and he was reading more or less on his own.

He’d been in the middle of sounding out a particularly troublesome word when Ilya stepped into the doorway.  “Having fun?” he asked.

Out of habit, Kieran’s heart jumped into his throat, and fear gripped his body.  What if Taber had been wrong, and Ilya would be furious with him learning to read?

Taber put a reassuring hand on Kieran’s and smiled at Ilya.  “I’m teaching him to read, Dominus,” he said brightly.

Ilya nodded.  “Good.  If there’s any particular subject you’d like to read about, Kieran, just let us know and we’ll see what we can do.”

“Yes, Dominus,” Kieran said numbly.  Not only was he being encouraged to read, but he was being encouraged to ask for books on a specific subject?

“But take a break, boys,” Ilya continued.  “It’s lunch time.”

“Yes, Dominus,” Taber said, quickly setting the book down and rising to his feet.  He walked past Ilya, but the taller man stopped him, grabbing him and pinning him against the doorframe, holding him there with a hand around his neck.

Kieran’s pulse raced.  So Ilya was angry at Taber for teaching him to read.  He stood still, frozen to that spot, as he watched the two of them.

But there was no fear in Taber’s eyes.  Only pleasant surprise.  And when Ilya bent down to capture the slave’s lips in a passionate kiss, the moan that escaped him was far from fearful.  After a moment, Ilya pulled away, then released his neck, pushing two fingers deep into Taber’s mouth.

“I’ll be using this later,” he said softly, his fingers moving slowly in and out of the slave’s mouth.  “Your other hole, too.”

Taber moaned again, eagerly and enthusiastically sucking his owner’s fingers.

Then, Ilya stepped back, releasing Taber fully and smiling at him.  “But first, lunch,” he declared brightly, turning to Kieran.  “Come on, let’s go.  Abby’s waiting for us.”

“Yes, Dominus,” Kieran said, following them out of the room.  They headed to the dining room, and Kieran stilled, staring.  He was surprised to find an extra chair on the right side of the table.

His chair, he knew.

There was a chair.  At his owner’s table.  For him.

There was a chair, at his owner’s table, that was put there specifically for him.  His owners had gotten him a chair at their table.  It wasn’t a chair that belonged to someone else, that he was just using.  It was a chair that they had gotten and placed at their table.  For him exclusively.

“Kieran?” Ilya asked, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I have a chair,” he murmured dumbly.  It sounded dumb, he knew, but it was the only thing he could think of to say.

Ilya chuckled, putting his arm around Kieran.  “You have a chair,” he agreed.  “It always messes with you at first.”

That surprised Kieran, breaking through the fog in his mind, and he looked up to meet his owner’s eyes.  “You don’t think it’s dumb?” he asked.

Ilya’s smile widened, and he gave Kieran a reassuring squeeze.  “You mean you didn’t know?” he asked jovially.  “I figured Dryas would’ve taken every opportunity to point it out.  I’m a helot.  Just like you are.”

Kieran didn’t know how to respond.  Of course Dryas had called him a neodamode, and he’d wondered if it was true.  And hadn’t Taber mentioned it, as well?  Still, it was different hearing Ilya confirm it as casually as if he were talking about the drapes.

“He… He did say something, Dominus,” he said haltingly.  He wasn’t sure how his Dominus would react to him acknowledging the fact that his former owner had insulted him.

But it didn’t seem to bother Ilya.  He chuckled again.

“Trust me, everything you’re feeling, I’ve felt it too.  And trust me when I say it’ll get easier.”

“Yes, Dominus.”

“Go ahead, have a seat.  You’re right here, next to Charis.”

Kieran hesitated, realizing that the seat Ilya had gestured to had been Rowyn’s place.  “Dominus?” he asked nervously.  The last thing he wanted was tension with his owner’s primary.

“It’s alright,” Ilya assured him, understanding his concern the way only a helot could.  “Rowyn isn’t the type to get offended by that sort of thing.  Charis calms you, doesn’t she?”

“Yes, Dominus.”

“Then it’s better for you to be close to her.  Rowyn knows that.”

Kieran hesitated again, still unconvinced.  From his place across the table, Taber smiled at him.  “It’s really alright,” he said.  “You’re not the first to sit there.  Rowyn understands.  He’s completely fine with it.  It was his idea to have new slaves sit there in the first place.”

Kieran was still unsure, but he finally sat down, his hands folded in his lap, feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

But Taber and Ilya seemed not to notice.  “Is Domina coming to eat?” Taber asked him.

Ilya laughed.  “Rowyn just got back,” he answered.  “We won’t see him, Charis, or Cullen for a few hours yet.”

But suddenly, as if on cue, they heard Charis’ cheerful laugh from the hallway.  A moment later, all three of them filed into the room.  All three looked flushed and happy, with their hair and clothes disheveled.  Charis, who usually dressed impeccably, had her peplos tied crooked and her hair messy.

“Ah, I stand corrected,” Ilya declared, smiling at Charis as she sat down with a contented sigh.  “I hope you had fun.”

“Absolutely,” she replied, flashing a grin at Kieran and patting his hand affectionately.

Kieran was grateful for her attention, but his focus was on Rowyn, and how he’d react to seeing someone else in his place at Charis’ right hand.

But Rowyn only smiled.  “We even had a head start, since Kieran was kind enough to get her warmed up for us.”

He clapped Kieran on the back playfully as he walked behind him, to take the seat between Kieran and Ilya.  He winked at Kieran as he sat down, and Kieran found himself blushing madly.  The compliment flattered him, especially since he wondered if he’d been pleasing to her.

He loved knowing that he had satisfied her.  He loved knowing that there was at least one thing he could do well, one thing concrete that he could give her.

“Well, I didn’t see you come in,” Ilya said to Rowyn.  “I’m glad you got in alright.  Did you have much trouble?”

“Not really,” Rowyn answered shrugging.  “More strange looks than anything else.  The odd cop asking for my paperwork.”

He laughed, suddenly.  “An elderly perioeci woman offered to ‘adopt’ me,” he said.

Charis laughed.  “Really?  To adopt you?”

Rowyn nodded.  “She assumed I was trying to run away, I think.  To get out of being sold to the State.  She said she didn’t have any children of her own and she’d care for me as her son.  I think she thought I was a child.”

“Everyone is a child to the elderly,” Abby said as she opened the door and entered the room, carrying her tray.  “She probably would’ve insisted on hand-feeding you, too.”

Rowyn laughed.  “You know, I got that impression.”

“It’s good to see you back home,” she said, pausing behind him as she made her way around the table and hugging him with her free arm.

“It’s good to be back,” he replied, returning the hug.

She nodded, patting his shoulder affectionately, then finished passing out the plates and left.

“How was the trip?” Ilya asked once she was gone.  “How was the appraisal?”

Suddenly, Rowyn’s expression fell, and he fiddled with his food.  “It was productive,” he answered, his tone flat and low.  “I learned enough to make an accurate judgement.”

“Rowyn?” Charis asked softly, her voice heavy with concern.

The older man sighed, setting his fork down.  “It was bad, Domina,” he murmured.  “We can never be associated with them.  We could never undo that kind of damage.”

“What happened?” Ilya asked.

Haltingly, hesitantly, his eyes glued to his plate, Rowyn began to speak.

“They were cruel,” he whispered.  “Unimaginably cruel.  I watched them… I watched them tie a man up… tie his wrists to his ankles so he couldn’t stand up.  He had to stay on his knees.  They… they pushed him into the public baths.  It was deep enough that only the top of his head stuck up out of the water.  They kept him down for longer and longer, shoving their cocks in his mouth both when he was under and when they pulled him up.  Finally, he passed out, from… from lack of oxygen.  Once that happened, all the men took turns fucking him.

“They had a couple of females there.  One of them, they tied to a pole in the middle of the main lounge.  All the members were given the opportunity to whip her with a single tail.  Some of them were so brutal.  It cut to the bone.  Finally, when she’d screamed herself out, she was tied down, for them to fuck.  They used her own blood as lubricant.”

There was a movement from the end of the table, from Ilya.  The next actions happened too quickly for Kieran to really register what was happening.

The first thing he was aware of was Charis’ voice, loud and firm.  “Rowyn!” she exclaimed, the word a command that Kieran didn’t understand.

Then he was aware of Taber leaping out of his chair.  Next came Rowyn’s touch.  The hands that had been gentle and friendly moments before were now rough and forceful, grabbing him and pulling him up out of the chair, away from the table and pinning him against the wall.

Then, just as he noticed the weight of Rowyn’s body, keeping him against the wall, he saw Cullen fling himself across the table.

After that, his mind started to catch up.  He saw Ilya standing up.  He’d stood up so quickly, and with such force, that the chair had clattered back against the wall behind him.  He was gripping the table so tight, his knuckles were white.

He’d intended to flip the table, Kieran realized.  Cullen had seen it coming and threw his weight on top of it to give Ilya pause.

Charis’ command to Rowyn had been to protect Kieran.  To move him back and shield him in case Ilya had succeeded in flipping the table.  And still, Rowyn shielded him, using his body to protect him.

And Taber had leapt up, fearlessly wrapping his arms around his owner.  He was easily six inches shorter than his owner, but his touch, while not technically restraining, seemed to be enough to keep Ilya from the violence they were all trying to prevent.

The slave was holding tightly to Ilya, murmuring constantly to him in a voice too low for Kieran to hear.

Charis, who had risen to her feet, smoothly walked to the other end of the table, and stood to Ilya’s other side, putting her hand over his.  Cullen got off the table and stood just behind her, watching Ilya closely, all the playfulness in his gaze replaced by dark determination.

“Let go,” Charis said quietly, looking up at Ilya.

In a move that made Kieran gasp, Ilya violently shoved her away, breaking easily out of Taber’s grip and shouting at her.  The force of his shove knocked her back, but she easily, gracefully regained her balance and held up a restraining hand to Cullen, who had stepped forward to defend her.

Don’t touch me!” Ilya shouted.  “You can’t just tell me to sit down and shut up.  Don’t pretend to know what’s going on in my head.  None of those people will ever be able to get away.  None of them will ever know anything different.  You will never understand what that feels like!  You’ll never understand what it feels like to not have any control over your life.  But you walk around here as if you know everything, like you can just wave your fucking hand and solve everyone’s problems.  How are you going to solve their problems, Charis?  How are you going to make their lives better?  It’s your people who are hurting them!”

Kieran started trembling.  The insults that Ilya was throwing would not be taken lightly.  And the helots were the ones who would suffer for his irrational temper.

But Charis didn’t look angry as she held his gaze.  She stood still, listening to him, watching him as he continued to yell at her and insult her Spartan heritage.

When he paused for a breath, she fearlessly stepped close to him, taking his face in both her hands.  “Do you need to be hurt?” she asked, her voice calm and steady.

The strange question seemed to break through the wall of anger.  He hesitated, then lowered his eyes, shaking his head.  “No,” he said.

“Do you need to hurt?”

Taber stepped forward again, taking Ilya’s hand in his.  “Do you need to hurt me, Dominus?” the slave repeated, looking up at his owner with love in his eyes.

Ilya forced a smile and squeezed Taber’s hand.  “No,” he said again.  “I’m alright.”

“Come here,” Charis said, extending her arms.  Ilya immediately retreated into her embrace, looking much smaller than his six feet, five inches as she held him.  Taber righted Ilya’s chair, and Rowyn stepped away, releasing Kieran from his place against the wall.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly, turning to Kieran.  “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No,” Kieran managed to whisper, still shaken.

“Take a breath,” Rowyn urged.  “You’re alright.  No one’s going to hurt you.  Come on, sit.  Domina knows how to calm him down.”

He looked up to Charis just in time to see her pull away from Ilya and lead him back to his chair.  He sat down and she kissed the top of his head gently before returning to her place at the head of the table.

Taber moved to kneel at Ilya’s side, but Ilya stopped him with a hand around his waist, pulling him to sit in his lap, instead.  The blond man’s eyes flitted around the room and settled on Kieran, who was still pale and shaking as Rowyn helped him to his seat.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Kieran,” Ilya said.  “My temper got the best of me.  Are you alright?”

“Yes, Dominus,” Kieran answered, unsure of how to react to the fact that his owner had just apologized to him.

“Come here, love,” Charis said, gesturing for him to sit on her lap.

Eagerly, Kieran obeyed, wanting the comfort of her closeness and the warmth of her body.

Once he was comfortable and had pulled his plate to him, Charis looked to Rowyn.  “You’re right.  We can never be associated with that place.  Even gutting it and banning every member wouldn’t be enough to get the horror and evil out of the walls.”

Rowyn nodded his agreement.

“Did anyone try anything with you?” Ilya asked him.

“No, they all knew who I am,” Rowyn answered.  “The symposiarch made a point of bragging about it every chance he got.  He wanted them all to know that Domina had sent me to survey the place.  That she was considering a professional association.  They knew better than to try.  I think they actually ramped up the usual cruelty of the place, thinking that it would impress me.  I think they were trying to show off.”

“They thought we’d be impressed by cruelty?” Charis asked.

Rowyn shrugged.  “Rumors are everywhere, Domina,” he pointed out.  “Everyone speculates about what makes your symposium so much better.  I think a lot of people think it’s because you’ve been crueler than any other symposiarch.”

“Well, we’ll have to do something about that,” Charis said.  “I don’t want helots suffering needlessly because their symposiarch thinks they’re being more like me.”

Cullen scoffed.  “Yeah, you should start a fanclub, Domina.”

To Kieran’s surprise, Charis laughed at the offhand remark, and even Ilya chuckled softly, the tension in the room lifting.

That seemed strange to him.  The atmosphere had been so tense, Charis and Ilya were so intense, Ilya had just shouted at Charis, had just attempted to flip the very large, very heavy dining table.  It had hardly seemed like the appropriate time to make a joke.

But Cullen had.

Not only had he made a joke, but it had been well received.  Even by Ilya.  Who had, moments ago, been shouting and cursing at Charis, who had been consumed by an irrational, explosive temper.  Even he had actually smiled and laughed at the joke.

Taber smiled and leaned against Ilya, resting his head against the taller man’s shoulder and kissing his neck.

Ilya sighed.  “That’s very distracting, you know.”

“Yes, Dominus,” Taber answered.

“You haven’t finished your food.  Aren’t you hungry?”

Taber’s smile widened.  “No, Dominus.”

“Well, I am, you insatiable slut.  Let me eat.”

Taber chuckled, reaching up to nip at Ilya’s earlobe, and Ilya laughed, shuddering and trying to move away.

“Gods, you’re impossible,” Ilya groaned, laughing as he pushed the eager slave away.  “I swear, you’re not happy unless there’s something in your mouth.”

“Either hole,” Taber corrected.  “I’m not picky.”

“I’m trying to eat.”

“Are you?”

Ilya laughed again, then turned to Cullen.  “Would you keep him occupied so I can finish my lunch?” he asked, exasperated.

Cullen grinned, meeting Taber’s gaze.  “I’d be happy to, Dominus,” he answered, rising to his feet and grabbing a fistful of Taber’s hair, firmly pulling him off Ilya’s lap and onto his knees.  Still holding him by the hair, Cullen pulled up his tunic, pushing his already-hard cock into the slave’s wet, eager mouth.

“Insatiable,” Ilya muttered, shaking his head as Cullen began thrusting smoothly into Taber’s mouth.  He grinned as he turned his attention back to his food.

Kieran toyed with his own food from his place on Charis’ lap, watching the people around him.  Cullen seemed to thoroughly enjoy using Taber’s mouth, and didn’t seem to mind being told to do so.  But more than that, Taber didn’t seem to mind it, either.

The younger slave knelt in front of Cullen, his hands on Cullen’s thighs, seeming to be completely at ease with being told to suck Cullen’s cock.  And by the expression on Cullen’s face, Taber was very eager and enthusiastic in his sucking.

Kieran watched them for a moment, then turned his attention to Rowyn as the older slave and Charis began talking cheerfully.  He’d never really gotten a good look at his owner’s primary.

Rowyn was exceptionally beautiful, there was no doubt about that.  Dark, sandy blond hair framed his face, though it had begun to go gray around his temples.  A well-defined jaw and strong chin were only slightly marred by a thin scar running from the top of his right cheek to just under his chin.  The scar was enough to detract from his monetary value, but not enough to take away from his beauty.

His most striking features were his eyes.  Bright, blue, and piercing, and they always seemed to have a smile in them.  The intelligence and spirit in his eyes were just incredible.  Hypnotic, almost.

Kieran liked looking at him, and didn’t even realize he’d been staring until Rowyn turned those piercing eyes on him, and smiled.

Blushing, Kieran lowered his gaze.

He sighed, setting his fork down and leaning back against Charis, savoring the feel of her fingers running up and down his back.  Ilya was right.  Being close to her was calming.  He could let his mind wander, he could just let himself be with her.  It was relaxing in a way he never thought he’d be able to relax with his owner.

He still was riddled with doubt, he still felt consumed by fear most of the time.  But in these quiet moments, sitting in her lap or kneeling at her feet, he could almost forget how frightened of her he actually was.

“Are you all done fighting?” Abby asked suddenly, opening the door and walking in.  “I don’t want to interrupt any fighting.”

Ilya laughed.  “We’re done fighting, Abby.  The excitement is over.”

“Oh, good heavens!” Abby exclaimed as she turned to see Cullen and Taber in the corner.  “And they barely touched their food.”

Cullen smiled at her, not stopping his rhythm.  “I just thought I’d give him dessert first, Miss Abby.”

“I did not work for two hours, making your lunch, for you to put other things in your mouth,” she scolded.  “Are you saying you don’t like my cooking?”

Cullen, unable to keep from laughing, finally released Taber and stepped back, pulling his cock from the younger slave’s mouth.

Taber wiped his mouth as he smiled sheepishly up at Abby.  “I guess I got a little excited,” he murmured apologetically.

Abby shook her head.  “You know, the more you bat those long eyelashes at me, and flash me those puppy-dog eyes, the less effective it will be.”

“Yes, Miss Abby,” Taber said innocently, his expression guileless as he gazed up at her.

“Well, I suppose you’ll want me to wrap up his lunch for later,” she said, reaching for his plate.

“I have a feeling he’ll be swallowing quite a bit between now and dinnertime,” Charis replied dryly.  “I highly doubt he’ll go hungry.”

“Now see, that is something I did not absolutely need to know,” Abby said.  “Careful, or you’ll offend my delicate sensibilities.”

Charis laughed goodnaturedly, waiting for Abby to finish gathering the plates.  Once she was gone, Cullen reached for Taber once again and, without a word, thrust deep into the slave’s mouth.

“Domina, can I play, too?” Rowyn asked, grinning.

Charis nodded, and Rowyn immediately rose to his feet, moving around the table to kneel behind Taber. Cullen lowered himself to his knees as well, forcing Taber down on all fours, exposing his ass.

Rowyn spit on Taber’s exposed hole, then pushed a single, slender finger inside.

Taber gasped and moaned, squirming just slightly as he was penetrated from both ends.  He arched his back, pushing his butt out more, urging Rowyn to go deeper.

Happy to oblige, Rowyn slid a second finger in alongside the first, swirling them around inside Taber’s body.  Then, after only a moment, Rowyn repositioned himself, the tip of his hard cock pressing against Taber’s tight, warm hole.

Slowly, Rowyn eased the head into Taber, using more spit as necessary to make the younger slave comfortable, until he had sunk all the way into him, his hips pressed firmly against Taber’s butt.

“Gods,” he murmured, finding a slow, steady rhythm.

Rowyn and Cullen took their time, not rushing, almost as if they were savoring every moment, every part of Taber’s body.  They were both firm and unyielding, but gentle.  Their use of him was slow, and fluid, and thorough.

Kieran watched them intently, wondering what it would be like to be used like that.  He’d never experienced anything like that before.  Those who had used him had always been rough, and fast, and painful, pounding into him as hard as they could.

But the way Cullen and Rowyn used Taber was completely different.  There was no spastic thrusting, no animalistic pawing, no slapping or beating.  Just two men enjoying the feeling of being inside him.  Enjoying him.

What would it feel like to be used like that?  What would it feel like to have someone truly enjoy being inside him?  To savor him, the way Rowyn and Cullen savored Taber?

What would it feel like to be completely, fully, wholly filled up?

“Jealous?” Charis asked, loud enough for only Kieran to hear.

He turned to look at her, confused, until her eyes flitted down to his lap.  Following her gaze, he blushed madly to find that his own cock was rock hard, poking up through his tunic.

“I’ve never seen you aroused before,” she whispered, trailing a single fingertip up his shaft, through the thin material of his tunic.  “Tell me, which of them has sparked your imagination?  Which do you wish you could be?”

Her purring voice, the directness of her question, and the feather-light touch of her fingers on his shaft made it very difficult to keep his thoughts straight.  The feel of her hands on him, gentle and soft, was foreign and surprising.  She’d never really touched him there before.

Obediently and instinctually, he spread his legs, exposing himself and giving her more access to him.  His heart fluttered as she fondled him, feeling very vulnerable and open to her.

The first time a new person touched him was always a bit unnerving.  Everyone’s hands felt different, everyone’s touch was different, and he never really knew what to expect.

With Charis, it was no different.  He was relatively sure she wouldn’t cause him intense pain, but he was nervous and curious to see what her touch would be like.  He’d heard of people who could cause mild or moderate pain, at just the right moments, in just the right way, that would actually intensify pleasure.  Being a symposiarch, he had no doubt that Charis knew how to do that.

Would she hurt him?  Would her touch stay light?  Would she take enjoyment in touching and exploring him?

“Well now,” Ilya declared suddenly, startling him.  “This is just wholly unacceptable.”

“What is, dear?” Charis asked, still running her fingers up and down Kieran’s cock.

“I’m the only one with no one to play with.”

Charis laughed.  “Sounds like you should join in the fun.”

“That’s a fantastic idea.”

Ilya rose from his chair and approached Taber, Cullen, and Rowyn.  He stood over Taber, straddling him, facing Cullen.

“I want your mouth,” he said to the brown-eyed slave.

“Yes, Dominus,” Cullen murmured, meeting his owner’s gaze as his mouth was filled up.

Ilya’s rhythm was a bit faster, just a bit rougher, than Cullen and Rowyn’s, but still gentle.  And Cullen easily kept his own rhythm, still holding on to Taber as Ilya held on to him.

“They look like they’re enjoying themselves, don’t they?” Charis whispered, still caressing Kieran through his tunic.

“Yes, Domina,” he murmured, breathless.

She kept touching him, and with her other hand, grabbed him gently by the back of his neck, pulling him close so she could nibble on his ear.

Kieran gasped as chills shot down his spine at the new, novel touch.  No one had ever licked or nibbled his ears before, and the sensation, the continuous jolt it sent down his spine, was almost overwhelming.  Without thinking, he gripped her arm, clinging to her as she continued licking, sucking, and biting his ear, while still maintaining the soft touches on his cock.

Waves of pleasure rippled through him, and he squirmed and writhed in her lap, completely unable to control himself.  And still, the firm hand on his neck held him close, keeping him still.

Every thought that tried to make its way into his mind was immediately shattered by the constant sensations.  The only thing that he could think of was, how?

How did she completely shatter his self control like this?  How could she completely overwhelm him by doing nothing but touch his ear and his cock?  How was it possible?

And gods, if she could overwhelm him this much, by something so simple, what else could she do?

“You look like you’re enjoying yourself,” she murmured, her lips brushing against his ear as she spoke.

“Y-yes, Domina,” he gasped.

“Why don’t you show me how much?”

Before he could ask what she meant, she took his earlobe between her teeth while gripping his cock firmly, stroking it as she played with his ear.

Kieran gasped, his focus completely shattered.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered that he needed to ask permission before he came.

“Domina,” he managed, his throat tight.

“Cum for me,” she told him, understanding the thought he couldn’t put together.

Almost as soon as he had permission, he felt the pleasure build to the breaking point.  Crying out, his entire body tense, he came harder than he ever remembered cumming before.

“There you go,” she murmured approvingly as he relaxed, whimpering, against her.  “That’s a good boy.”

He lied back against her, curling himself up in her lap, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

“Yes, that’s a very good boy.  You made quite a mess, didn’t you?”

He started to sit up, but she held him down.  “No, no, it’s alright.  You can clean it right here.  Go ahead and open your mouth, there’s a good boy.”

Relaxing back against her, he closed his eyes and opened his mouth.  When she pushed her fingers inside, and he tasted his cum on them, he obediently, almost absently, licked them clean.

“Very good boy,” she told him, kissing his forehead as she dipped her fingers back into the pool of semen on his belly, then put them back in his mouth again.

His head swam and his body tingled and pulsed as he lied against her, limp and weak, obediently licking his cum from her fingers every time she put them in his mouth.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he was aware of rhythmic grunting and soft moans coming from somewhere in the room.  But for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out where, or who it was coming from.  And he really didn’t care.  All he was truly aware of was the feeling of her gentle hands on him, the warmth and softness of her body, and the taste of himself on her skin.

It felt good, being there, in her lap, held in her arms, sated and satisfied, and safe.

From somewhere in the back of his mind, that bitter voice still screamed.  He didn’t deserve this kindness, he wasn’t good enough to warrant it.  And once his owners realized that, the kindness would stop.

But he decided that he didn’t care.  He’d simply enjoy it while it lasts.

Let’s play a game

I love the things Sounder’s depraved sissy mind comes up with.

He had a dream last week, that he shared with me.  In it, I give him the ability to help decide what I will do to him next time I see him.  I do this by telling him to find me a hot sissy caption each morning.  Each picture is assigned a number of points, and if he meets certain thresholds, he’s able to avoid certain unpleasant things.

Which is a fucking awesome idea, m’kay.  Like seriously.

So of course, this week, I wanted to do it. We started on Monday, and I’m going to see him on Sunday.  He sends me one picture each morning, and each picture is given a score between 1 and 5.

To avoid figging, he must earn 5 points.

10 to avoid ass to mouth.

15 to avoid Kazander Topping him for the entire evening.

20 to avoid being spitroasted.

25 to avoid begging Kazander to fuck him.

And 30 to avoid begging Kazander to be allowed to suck his cock.

The first two pictures he sent me were good, with one earning 3 and the other earning 4.  On Wednesday, the one he sent was really hot, and earned him 5 points.

On Thursday, he went with a different tactic.  Instead of looking for a picture online, he took one of the photos he’d taken for me, and added his own caption to it.

It was beyond hot.  I absolutely loved it.  And I wasn’t expecting it at all.  I broke my own rule, but the reaction he got out of me deserved something extra.  I gave him 6 points.

And that put him up to 18.

That picture shows his face, so it won’t be posted here, but the one he sent this morning is perfectly fine.

And amazing.

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I took the photo last Sunday.  He edited it and wrote the caption, and gave it to me today.

Definitely worth 5 points.  Which puts him up to 23.  And he’s still got two more days, and only needs 7 more points.

Next time we play this game, I’ll have to make it harder.  But isn’t my sissy so creative?

Written in Stone, Part 4

Sunlight streamed through the window, and the warm light, combined with the warmth of the bed, pleasantly woke Kieran.

He was surprised to discover that the warmth he felt came primarily from the body of his owner as she slept beside him, an arm protectively around him even in sleep.

Kieran remained still, studying her face.  He was surprised at how beautiful she really was.  Until now, all he’d had the nerve for were fleeting looks and glances when she’d commanded him to look at her.  He’d been too afraid to really get a good look at the woman who owned him.

Her blonde hair splayed out against the pillow, framing a pleasant face.  The sharp, predatory Spartan features were softened by the perioeci influence.  Her cheekbones were high, as they often were for Spartans, but with a delicate nose.  She had the Spartan jawline, but it wasn’t as pronounced as in a full-blooded Spartan.  Her chin wasn’t as square.  It gave her face a younger, more rounded appearance.

It seemed as if the best traits of Spartans and perioikoi combined within her.

In sleep, she looked so gentle, so young.  If he didn’t know who she was, he would’ve found it impossible to believe that a woman with a face this innocent and guileless could ever run a symposium.  She looked so kind.

He’d always wondered what it would be like to be owned by a kind person.  He’d always wondered what it would feel like to be held in someone’s arms, safe and protected.  He’d wondered what it would feel like to be someone’s pet.

A soft knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts.  A moment later, the door opened and Cullen quietly stepped in.  He grinned when his eyes met Kieran’s, then quickly turned his attention to Charis, approaching the side of the bed where she slept.

“Domina,” he murmured gently, running the tips of his fingers across her cheek affectionately.

“Mmm?” she mumbled sleepily, stirring slightly.

“Domina,” he called again, smiling down at her with an expression of pure, genuine love.  “It’s time to wake up.”

Suddenly, apparently awake and alert, she reached up, cupping her hand on the back of his neck, and pulled him down to meet her lips in a fierce kiss.  Startled by the unexpected action, Cullen stumbled forward, bracing himself on the headboard to keep from falling on top of her.

But she didn’t seem satisfied with that.  Deepening the kiss, she rolled, pulling him off balance and across her body.  It looked as if she would devour him, right then and there.

Until she felt Kieran beside her.  She abruptly broke the kiss and turned to look at him with confusion in her eyes, until, laughing, she realized that they were in his room.

“Well, good morning, Kieran,” she said cheerfully, still holding Cullen against her, seeming to take pleasure in his awkward attempts to support his weight.  A quick jerk of her arm knocked his own arm out from underneath him, and with a surprised gasp, he collapsed on top of her.  He chuckled as he made half-hearted attempts to struggle, but she clasped one of his arms behind his back and raised her knee between his thighs, keeping him still.

“Oh, that’s not fair,” he joked, finally going still on top of her.

“It’s not my fault you’re so cute when you’re all helpless,” she replied easily, reaching for his other arm and pinning it behind his back, as well.

Cullen whimpered playfully, nuzzling her neck as she turned to Kieran.

“How did you sleep?” she asked Kieran.

“Very well, Domina, thank you,” he replied softly, unsure of how to take the situation.  It was so strange, how being in Cullen’s position with Dryas would’ve been terrifying.  Being restrained and made helpless by one’s owner is always terrifying.

But here was Cullen, a man who had been badly abused before, very obviously enjoying being made helpless by his owner.  He continued to nuzzle and kiss her neck while she spoke to Kieran, squirming just a bit as she bent her knee more, rubbing her thigh between his legs.

“Of course he slept well, Domina,” Cullen murmured, smiling over at him.  “He got to sleep with you.”

Charis laughed.  “Are you jealous, my boy?”

Cullen squirmed more, intentionally grinding on her leg.  “It was so very cold, in that dark room, all by my poor, lonesome self,” he said jokingly.

Charis laughed.  “Oh you poor dear.”

She kissed him once more, deeply and passionately, before releasing him.  He quickly rose up off of her and helped her up.  She laughed when she saw his erection poking through his tunic.

“Well someone is awake,” she said, her hand going to his cock.  Cullen moaned softly as she stroked it through the material of his tunic, thrusting his hips slightly forward.

“Yes, Domina,” he murmured, the playfulness gone from his face, replaced, to Kieran’s surprise, with genuine desire.

He liked having her hands on him?

Wide awake,” she continued, still stroking him.

He whined, a soft, lustful, needy, begging sound.  “Please, Domina,” he breathed, stepping closer to her.

“What do you want, boy?” she asked, grinning, her grip on his cock tightening.  He gasped, trying harder now to thrust into her hand.  But she prevented him from doing it, teasing him instead.

“You, Domina,” he whispered, reaching for her and clinging to her.

She laughed, stepping away suddenly.  “Well, you can’t have me.”

His jaw dropped, and he looked at her incredulously as she turned to extend a hand to Kieran.

“Oh, that’s just cruel,” he protested.

“I never claimed to be a nice person,” she answered.  “Come on, let’s get dressed and have some breakfast.”

“Domina,” Cullen whined, his frustration and longing evident in his face.

Charis turned to him and laughed softly when she saw his expression.  “Oh, my poor boy,” she said playfully, reaching for his hand.  “Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait long.  Breakfast first.”

Cullen pouted for a moment, until a smile broke out on his face.  He wrapped Charis in a big hug, nuzzling her neck for just a moment before she, laughing, pulled away.

“Breakfast first,” she repeated.  “Come on, let’s go.”

She turned and took Kieran’s hand, and the three of the left the room and made their way downstairs, to the dining room.

“Good morning, boys,” she said cheerfully to Ilya and Taber.

“Good morning, Domina,” Taber answered.

“You look like you had a fun night,” Ilya said.

Cullen scoffed, still pouting playfully.  “I wish.”

“Oh, hush,” Charis scolded, lightly swatting his butt as he made his way to his chair.  “Kieran, come here.  Sit with me.”

She led him to sit on the floor at her feet, and Kieran quickly sat down, resting his head against her thigh.  He was grateful to sit on the floor, instead of at the table.  It was more familiar to him, and he didn’t have to try and pay attention to everyone at the table.

And he didn’t have to deal with the strangeness of sitting at the table with his owners.  He could just relax, and enjoy being close to her.

The more time he spent with her, the more he discovered that he liked being close to her.  She had a very calming effect on him, even as everything she did confused and frightened him.  Being close to her was reassuring, and being close to her without having to try to figure her out was the closest thing to comfort and happiness he had ever known.

From his place beside her, he heard the door open and Abby walk in.

“Good morning, everyone,” she said quickly.  There was a pause, then, “Where’s the little one?”

“Here,” Charis answered gesturing to him sitting beside her.

“And his food?”

“You can set his plate next to mine.  He’ll eat here today.”

She stepped around in Kieran’s view, and smiled gently down at him.  “Good morning, Bambi,” she said.  “Still adjusting?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he whispered shyly, moving closer to Charis.

Charis ran her fingers affectionately through his hair.  “It’ll take time,” she said.  “But he’ll get there.”

“Well if anyone can get him there, you can,” Abby said, setting down her plate and Kieran’s plate before moving to the other side of the table to serve Ilya, then Taber and Cullen.

“Thank you, Miss Abby,” Cullen and Taber said, more or less in unison.

Abby nodded, then turned and left the room.

Kieran didn’t pay attention to the conversation around him, just letting his mind wander as he ate his breakfast from his owner’s fingers.

And he loved every moment of it.  He loved the softness of her thigh, he loved the feeling of her fingertips on his lips as she fed him, he loved the intimacy and security of the moment.  He felt peaceful, and comfortable, and safe.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like that.

Was this what Cullen and Taber felt all the time?  Was this what it felt like to be loved and cherished, instead of just owned and used?  To enjoy being close to the one who owned him?

Was this what Cullen felt when she’d touched him that morning?

Would Kieran enjoy being touched by her, too?

He’d never enjoyed being touched by his owner before.  The thought was a foreign one.  What would it feel like to want her hands on him, the way Cullen did?  Cullen had been abused and beaten so much more, and so much longer than Kieran had ever been.  He had been very familiar with not wanting to be touched.

But he had truly enjoyed Charis’ touch, and had been disappointed when she had stopped.  Would that ever happen to Kieran, too?  Would he crave her hands on him?

He already liked being close to her, and he liked when she caressed him and ran her fingers through his hair.  Would he like her hand between his legs, as well?

He was lost in thought, letting his mind wander, when Charis’ fingertip under his chin, bringing his head up to look at her, pulled his attention.

“Did you get enough to eat?” she asked.

“Yes, Domina,” Kieran replied, surprised at the question.  It seemed so odd, for an owner to ask her slave a question like that.  Dryas had never asked him anything like it.

“Good.  Come upstairs with me.”

He quickly rose to his feet, following her out of the dining room and back up the stairs.  But when she expected her to turn right, down the hall to his room, she turned left, instead taking him to hers.  He followed her obediently into the room and stood in the center as she closed the door behind them.

“Take off your tunic, love,” she said gently.  “I want to take a closer look at you.”

His voice caught in his throat, but somehow he managed a quiet “Yes, Domina,” as his fingers numbly went to the clasp at his shoulder.  His heart pounded as the fabric fell to a pile at his feet, and he stood in front of his owner, naked and exposed.

Just as she did the first night she met him, she made a slow circle around him, examining him, and he felt himself shrink under her scrutinizing gaze.  This time, she touched him a great deal more, her fingers lingering on his stomach, his hips, his back.  And she was much more thorough in her examination of him.

He couldn’t help but whimper under the strength of her gaze.  When she moved back to his front, and he saw her frown and furrowed brow, it took all his willpower to keep from collapsing at her feet.

Gods, she wasn’t disappointed in his body, was she?

“It’s alright, Kieran,” she murmured, seeming to know the worry that ate at him.  “You’re a beautiful boy.”

“Thank you, Domina.”

“A lot of these bruises are still really dark.  Did Dryas enjoy beating you?”

“Yes, Domina.”

“Did you enjoy being beaten?”

Kieran dared a questioning glance to her.  “Domina?”

“Did you enjoy when he beat you?”

He had no idea how to answer that.  “I was happy to serve my former Dominus, however he wanted to use me.”

But she shook her head.  “No, that’s not what I asked you,” she said patiently.  “And I don’t want the ‘correct’ answer.  You’re not being tested here.  I just want the truth.  Did you like when he beat you?”

Kieran shrank, both from his owner having to repeat herself, and for fear of answering.  “No, Domina,” he whispered.

“Good boy,” she said, reaching a hand up to caress his face, reassuring him.  “That’s what I want from you.  I always want the truth, even if you feel like you shouldn’t say it.”

“Yes, Domina,” he said, sighing with relief.  It was so strange, the effect her praise had on him.  How was it that two simple words could have such a strong effect?  Even before he was hers, he loved the sound of those words on her lips.  He wanted to earn more of that praise from her.

“Have you ever served women?” she asked, turning her focus back to his body.

“Yes, Domina,” he answered.  “But not often.  And not recently.”

She heard the hesitation in his voice.  “Do you not like servicing women?”

“I’m afraid I won’t be good at it, Domina,” he corrected quickly.

“Well, there’s only one way to find out.  But you still didn’t answer my question.  Do not like servicing women?  Do you prefer men or women?”

Yet another question he didn’t know how to answer.  “I… I’m a slave, Domina,” he stammered, confused.  “I don’t have a preference.”

“You don’t have a preference?” she asked.  “At all?”

Fear started creeping up in him.  Was he supposed to have a preference?  What if he didn’t?

Oh gods, but what if he did, and she wasn’t it?  What if he opened up that part of himself, and she wasn’t the gender he preferred?

No, his mind said sternly, recoiling from the idea.  You’re a slave.  Be a slave.

“Domina,” he said shakily, his heart pounding.  How could he tell her that he just couldn’t risk that?  Being trained not to have a preference made his life easier.  He couldn’t let that go.

But would she be angry at him for that?  Would she punish him for disobeying her?  Would her kindness and compassion stop?

“Hey, it’s alright,” she said, taking his hands.  “It’s alright, you don’t have to think about it.  I’ll leave it alone for now.  Come here, there’s something else you can do instead.”

Relieved, he followed her to the bed, and stood still, watching her as she pulled her nightgown up over her head.

He was stunned at what he saw underneath it.

The first thing he noticed was her beauty.  Thin and voluptuous, with dizzying curves and impossibly smooth, porcelain skin.  He wanted to touch her, to see if she was as smooth and soft as she looked.

But then he noticed that her skin was marred in a great number of places by scars, some impressively large and dark.  She was certainly no stranger to pain.

She chuckled as she noticed him staring at her.  “Yeah, agoge was fun.  As it turns out, most full-blooded Spartans don’t love it when a mothax outranks them.  The poor dears.  Come here, though.  I want your focus somewhere else.”

“Yes, Domina,” he replied, forcing himself to tear his eyes from her exquisite body.

He watched as she lied down, stretching out on the bed, her body moving hypnotically.  His eyes trailed down from her face, to her breasts, down her stomach, to the part of her that seemed to be simultaneously the most vulnerable and most intimidating part of her body.

It was the part of her body he was expected to service, and the idea made him unbelievably nervous.  She scared him, she terrified him.  But at the same time, he wanted to serve her.  He wanted to please her, to make her happy.  He wanted to bring her pleasure.

So, focusing on his desire to make her happy, he tentatively crawled onto the bed, lying between her legs, and shyly tasted the woman who owned him.

It wasn’t unpleasant, and she was very expressive, giving him enough feedback to learn quickly what she liked, and how best to service her.  He slowly gained confidence as his tongue dove through the folds of her body, licking, kissing, and sucking.

His mouth had always been particularly talented, he knew.  Many men knew just how talented his mouth was.  He was sure he could achieve the same level of skill with a woman, too.  And he would, with Charis.  He would show her how useful his mouth was.

Her soft moans fueled his desire to please her.  He could feel the muscles in her legs tense as the waves of pleasure swept over her.  And, just as when men used his mouth, he found himself swelling with pride as her pleasure mounted.  This was something he was skilled at, something he could do.  And he enjoyed seeing her react to the way his tongue felt on her.

When her fingers dove through his hair, gripping him and holding him against her, he intensified his movements, reading her reactions and her moans to judge how to bring her the most pleasure.

It was a skill he was very good at, and it didn’t take long for her to reach orgasm.

Her entire body tensed and she cried out with the strength of her orgasm.  Kieran slowly, gently licked her clean, swallowing all of her juices as she relaxed on the bed.

After a moment, she sighed contentedly and reached down as he rested his head against her thigh, running her fingers gently through his hair.

He burned to ask her if he’d satisfied her, if he’d lived up to her expectations.  He had almost gathered enough courage to give voice to his question when the door opened suddenly.

Startled, Kieran looked back to see a strange man, wearing a helot’s tunic, walk in as if he owned the place.  The man grinned widely at the two of them before his eyes met Charis’.

“Did I miss all the fun?” he asked

“Rowyn!” Charis exclaimed happily, sliding out from under Kieran and rising to her feet.  She crossed the room in a few steps and threw herself into the man’s arms.

He hugged her tightly, lowering his head and burying her face in her hair.  The embrace was so loving, so affectionate, so intimate, that Kieran averted his gaze, feeling as if he were intruding on them.

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to keep his eyes lowered for long.  There was obvious love between them, something so much purer and deeper than he’d ever seen before.  Dryas had certainly never regarded anyone the way Charis regarded this slave.  Her joy in seeing him had been palpable, and the way she held him made Kieran’s heart ache.

Would anyone ever hold him like that?  Would anyone ever love him the way his new owner loved her pet?

Kieran was surprised, too, to discover how old Rowyn was.  He had to be in his mid-forties, at least.

But just as surprising as his age was the fact that being in his forties didn’t detract from the man’s beauty in any way.  He was tall, fit, and very obviously still in the prime of his life.

Our world doesn’t work that way, Charis had said to him when they brought him home.  Not everyone treats slaves the way you’ve been treated.

All he’d known had been Dryas and his friends.  Were there others who didn’t sell their slaves when they hit 35?  Were there other slaves who still looked this good at 40, 45, or 50?  Or older?

Finally, Charis pulled away and turned to face Kieran, but Rowyn wasn’t satisfied with just standing near her.  He threaded his arms under hers, around her waist and pulled her back against him.  She seemed delighted by the slave’s very bold actions.

“Rowyn, this is Kieran.  He’s the newest addition to the house.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Rowyn said politely, although it was clear his focus was elsewhere.  He lowered his head, kissing and nibbling her bare shoulder.

“Kieran, this is Rowyn,” she explained, leaning back against him.  “He had to go to Mystras to survey a symposium for me.”

“Hello,” Kieran said awkwardly, unsure of how to address his owner’s primary slave.

Rowyn lifted his head to smile warmly at the boy, then pressed his cheek affectionately against Charis’ ear, whispering something to her.

Charis’ lips turned up in a mischievous, wolfish smile at the slave’s words.  “Kieran, darling,” she said, turning to face Rowyn.  “You may get dressed and enjoy some free time.  I’ll be unavailable for a bit.”

“Yes, Domina,” Kieran replied, quickly rising off the bed and grabbing his tunic.

“You have free reign of the house,” she told him as he walked past them, to the door.  “But don’t go outside.”

“Yes, Domina.”

He hurried out of the room, closing the door behind him.  As he did, he heard Charis giggling playfully from the other side.

Once he was dressed again, he thought about going to his room, then decided against it.  It would be comfortable in his room, alone, but curiosity got the best of him.  Given the freedom to explore, he wanted to learn more about the place he was now living in.

His mind wandered as he walked slowly, aimlessly, through the halls.  Rowyn had gone to the next town over, to survey a symposium.  That’s what Charis had said.

What did that mean?

Was Rowyn, a slave, really given the authority to make business decisions on his owner’s behalf?  Had he actually been allowed to travel on his own, to judge a symposium on his own, and then trusted to return?

Most slaves would have jumped at the opportunity to escape.  Granted, trying to flee Laconia from as far south as Sparta or Mystras would be difficult, but it was a well-known fact that Epirus, which bordered Laconia to the northwest, was a country that did not share the Spartan tradition of slavery.

The chances of successfully making the journey were slim, but for many helots, the risk was worth it.

But not, apparently, for Rowyn.  He’d been given the authority to travel and make decisions in the name of his owner, and had come back.  More than that, he’d been genuinely overjoyed to return to his owner’s arms.

It was an odd concept.  But then again, Kieran was quickly learning that his new owner did not conform to what he had expected.  Perhaps he’d be happy to return too, if he had a loving, caring, kind owner to return to.

He absently made his way down the stairs, and walked past the library.  He paused when he saw Taber alone in the room, reclining on a large, overstuffed chair reading.

Taber looked up to him as he stood in the doorway.  “Kieran,” he said cheerfully.  “Come in, you don’t have to be shy.”

Kieran hesitated only a moment before walking into the room.  Ilya’s slave was quiet and reserved, but friendly, with a calming nature.  Kieran liked him.  Liked being around him.

So he awkwardly stepped into the library, gazing at the shelves upon shelves of books.

“How are you adjusting?” Taber asked.

“Very well, thank you.”

The older slave chuckled softly and set his book down.  “You know, the only person I’ve ever met who is better at reading people than I am is Domina.  That lie won’t fool her, either.”

Kieran blushed, turning to face Taber and leaning back against the shelf.  “I’m alright, I really am.”

“I told you before,” Taber said patiently.  “You don’t have to pretend here.  I can tell that you’re uneasy.  You can talk to me.”

Kieran sighed.  There was no hiding from those observant brown eyes.  “I’m not sure what’s expected of me,” he admitted finally.  “I’ve been here for days, and Domina only used me once, just now.  Then, she left me alone.  I don’t even know if I pleased her.  I want to make her happy, and serve her the way she wants, but I don’t know how.  I’m afraid she’ll punish me for misbehaving, but I don’t know how to behave.”

Taber smiled gently.  “Domina is one of the most amazing people you’ll ever meet,” he said.  “But she’s human.  She has faults, just like everyone else.  Sometimes, she forgets to acknowledge other people’s emotions.  She’s not particularly emotional, so she naturally assumes everyone else is the same.  You don’t have to worry, though.  She’s a good woman, and she’s fair and kind.  She won’t punish you for not knowing how to behave.”

“Are you sure?”

“If you make a mistake, it’ll just remind her that she needs to spend more time training you.  And she will.  She doesn’t play games, and she doesn’t ever want you to have to guess at what she wants.  She’ll teach you.  As hard as it may be for you to believe, she actually wants you to be happy.  It’s something that’s very, very important to her.  She wants you to be just as comfortable here as Rowyn, Cullen, and I are.  And she will go out of her way to make sure that happens.  You just have to be a bit patient with her sometimes, if she gets distracted.”

Kieran didn’t know what to think about Taber’s words.  He had just spoken ill of their owner.  What if Ilya had heard that?

“Relax,” Taber said.  “She will admit those faults herself.  Acknowledging the fact that our owner isn’t perfect is an important part of serving her.  We have to accept and acknowledge the fact that she’s not infallible.  She will make mistakes.  Pretending she’s perfect will set us up for failure.  That’s something she’ll teach you, too.”

“I don’t ever want to anger her,” Kieran said quickly.  “I’d never dream of insulting my owner.”

Taber sighed.  “Dominus has blond hair,” he said.  “Is my acknowledgement of that insulting?”

“No,” Kieran replied, confused.

“Why not?”

“Because pointing out his hair color isn’t an insult.”

“Exactly.  Pointing out the truth isn’t an insult.  Dominus has his faults, too.  He’s not perfect, either.  He tries to be, because he was once a slave, and knows firsthand how bad it can be.  But he makes mistakes, too.  It’s not an insult, and it’s not disrespectful.  It’s the truth.  Acknowledging that truth allows me to serve him wholeheartedly, to remain genuinely happy to serve him even when he makes mistakes.  It helps me better serve him.  It makes me a better slave to him.”

“Doesn’t he ever get offended?”

Taber shrugged.  “He has moments where he’ll lose his temper,” the slave admitted.  “But he’s never cruel, and he’s never caused me harm.  If I were to say something that upsets him, he’ll talk to me about it.”

“He won’t punish you?”

“He might, depending on the situation.  But even when he does, he’ll always talk to me first.”

Kieran sighed, raking a hand through his hair.  “This is too much,” he murmured.

Taber nodded in agreement.  “It’s a lot to take in.  But just be patient, both with Domina, and with yourself.  She’ll teach you everything you need to know.  Try to relax.  Pick up a book, if you want.  Domina will call for you when she wants you.”

Kieran turned, looking to the books on the shelf behind him.  There really wasn’t anything better to do, and he liked being in the company of the quiet, gentle slave.  He picked a book at random and opened it, looking at the pages cramped with small letters.

“Can you read?” Taber asked.

“I was taught,” Kieran answered.  “When I was younger.  I’ve forgotten most of it, though.”

“Well, that book probably won’t be a great place to start.  That’s advanced psychology.  It’s pretty boring stuff.  Domina loves it, though.  I can help you learn to read, if you’d like.”

“Would that be alright with Domina?” Kieran asked nervously.

“Of course.  She encourages it.  Come here, we’ll look at this one.  It’s not difficult to understand.”

Taber moved to the side of the large sitting chair, giving Kieran room to sit beside him.  “Alright, what do you remember?”