Learning is Fun!

M’kay, this post is gonna contain pictures of needle play, sutures, and staples. If that sort of thing bothers you, it may be a good idea to skip over this one.

This weekend was seriously fucking awesome. On Friday night, I went to a play party at Sadie’s house.  And last night was the party with Sounder, Sadie, and Kiki.

Amazing stuff.  But we’ll start with the play party.  The ClubFem debacle was a big topic of conversation, since Sadie went, as well as another Domme and sub that were at the play party.  Kiki was fighting a headache and exhaustion (she’s been working a lot), so she stayed home.

Thankfully, their opinion was the same as mine and it was such a relief to know that I wasn’t the only one who thought it was such a joke. It was such a relief when I walked in and one of the first things Sadie did was give me an amused look and ask, “So what did you think of the ClubFem meeting?”

And the way she asked it, I was immediately relieved.

I mean, I knew she would think it was just as ridiculous as I did.  I knew this because I know her well enough to know that she’s not bigoted or stupid.  But there’s always that tiny bit of irrational worry.

So it was awesome that she had to keep herself from laughing through the meeting, and that she thought it was just as ridiculous as I did.

So that was awesome.

And if there’s one thing about Sadie, it’s that she’s extremely knowledgeable about pretty much everything sadistic.  And for me, who has much less experience with things like fire play, needle play, knife play, and all of that, she’s a fantastic teacher.

We had talked about doing needle play or fire play with Sounder at the party, and the possibility of her teaching me there at his house.  But one of her playmates was coming to her party, and she asked if I’d be okay practicing on him, and she could teach me that night, and then I could do it more or less on my own, while she supervised, the next night with Sounder.

Yay!!!!

Why yes, yes I would.

So she got everything prepped and showed me how she goes through that process, and what all needs to be done.  She put him on the table, showed me how to sterilize the area, and we were ready.

The first few times, I watched, and she went slow, going through it step-by-step.  We were doing it on the back of his shoulder, which is a relatively easy area to work with for beginners.

And then, it was my turn.  I put the gloves on, grabbed the needle, and bent over him, getting ready to stab someone I’d just met that night.

And really, I hadn’t felt an adrenaline rush like that in awhile.  I was nervous, excited, and completely stoked.  I began pushing the needle into him, and feeling that very unique resistance, seeing it sliding through his skin and coming out the other side, was seriously fucking incredible.

Like, I love needle play.  It was awesome.

It's so pretty!!

It’s so pretty!!

Seriously awesome.  And pretty easy, one I got the hang of it.  The only real things are to make sure you don’t go too deep (which took a little bit of practice), and to make sure you don’t prick yourself with the needle once it’s already gone into him.  It’s not too difficult to figure out.

So needle play supplies are now at the top of my wish list.  It does take kind of a lot.  Not just needles and gloves, but all of the prep equipment, sterilization equipment, biohazard bags and sharps containers, etc.  It’s labor intensive, but definitely worth it.

Okay, so once I got the hang of that, it was time to move on to something a little more difficult.  We moved down to his ass, she cleaned and sterilized the area, and showed me how to do sutures.

And holy crap, y’all, sutures are way more difficult than needles.  That took some time to figure out.  And then of course, once I got the curved needle in and through, getting the clamps to release was a pain in the ass.  And then, tying the goddamn thread off was incredibly awkward, and took longer than the suture itself.

But I figured it out, and the poor guy I was practicing on took it like a champ, and was very patient with me as I figured it out, and was basically just a huge sweetheart.

So I definitely need more practice with sutures.  And I’m seriously looking forward to getting more practice with sutures.

Yay, sutures!

Yay, sutures!

So after we did that, she showed me how to take them all out, and we turned him over onto his stomach, where she showed me how to do staples.

Now, staples are incredibly easy.  There’s no real skill involved there.  It’s just a matter of having the little staple gun, pushing the tip against the skin, and pressing the trigger.  It’s also much, much less painful than sutures and needles, so it’s a good starting point for subs who may be a little nervous about venturing into needle play or suture play (hint, hint, cough, cough).

And because it doesn’t actually puncture the skin, more just pinches it, it’s easier for people to handle, when they’d have problems watching needles or sutures, or have problems with blood.  A couple of the guests were on the other side of the house for the needles and the sutures, and came in to see if staples had the same effect, and were much more comfortable watching the staples.

The staple does still go into the skin, just a little bit, so you still need the gloves and the sharps container and all of that stuff, and you need a special tool to remove the staples, but it’s way, way more mild.

And they’re fun because you can thread a thin ribbon through them, and create patterns.  We did a simple arrow, just so she could show me what it is.

Pretty arrow.

Pretty arrow.

So the staples were simple, and easy, and a lot of fun, and extremely versatile.  I’m definitely looking forward to getting myself some of those.  That’s also really high up on my wish list.

Along with a massage table.  How do I not have a massage table?  They’re awesome, they keep the boy at the perfect height, they’re sturdy, they’re portable, and they’re surprisingly light.

I must have one.

So yeah, staples are awesome, and ribbon is awesome.  And just for fun, Sadie decided to pull out her clothespins.

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That frenum piercing is seriously convenient, too….

After awhile, there were so many, it started to look like a hedgehog.

And because Sadie is just that damn awesome, she drew a face on the head of his dick to make it look more like a hedgehog.

And the result is seriously fucking cute.

And the result is seriously fucking cute.

Finally, we took all the clothespins off.  And even once they were off, it still looked pretty cool.

Seriously cool, right?

Seriously cool, right?

So we let him up, and that’s when the violet wands came out.  Because that’s what happens when you put four sadists in a room together.

And the subs were fascinated with the violet wands, so that was a lot of fun.  We turned down the lights, and I was able to get a couple of really nice shots of the arcing.

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The subs wanted to see if you could hit one with the wand, and the other would feel it. You know, for science.

The subs wanted to see if you could hit one with the wand, and the other would feel it. You know, for science.

So yeah, it was a ridiculous amount of fun.  A violet wand is also high on my want-list, especially because Kazander really likes electrical play.  We need a violet want immediately.

And I was seriously looking forward to using the violet wand on Sounder then next night.  He made the mistake of telling me that electricity never really had much of an effect on him.  And of course, I told Sadie that, and of course, she took that as a challenge.  So I was definitely looking forward to having an effect on him.

Greetings from a tattoo chair

Holy shit, I’ve been busy.

So busy, in fact, that I’m writing this post on my phone as I’m getting a 12-hour tattoo done. But luckily it’s on my left arm, and I’m right-handed, so it frees me up to type. You know I made damn sure to bring my phone charger with me.

Seriously, what did people do before smartphones? The idea of sitting here all damn day, with nothing to help me tune out the pain not to mention the fucking boredom) would drive me nuts.

The last seven days or so have been awesome. It started with bending Sounder over his kitchen island and fucking him senseless (which was awesome, and deserves a post of its own. But he discovered his inner slut. It was great), and then continued with bending Kazander over and doing wicked, awful things to him (which deserves a post of its own, but was awesome), and continued again with me playing with a boy (we’ll call him Southern) in a mall on the Strip.

I met Southern when I was a Pro Domme in Alabama. He started as a regular customer, and we bonded. And he comes out to Vegas every year. So whenever he comes in town, we see each other.

Well, except for last time he came. Last time, there was some kind of fucking epidemic tearing its way through Vegas. Everyone was sick. It was like a cold, but a thousand times worse, and lasted for weeks (if you were lucky. Lots of people were sick for a month or two). I was practically bed-ridden, so I couldn’t see him.

But this time, I was healthy. Usually we just have lunch or hang out in a vanilla setting. There’s no play involved, because we don’t have anywhere to play.

But this time, we found a way around that. He bought a wireless remote-controlled vibrating egg, and had it shipped to me. So when I went to meet him at the mall, I brought it, as well as a condom and lube.

Now, you know that I’m not into excessive public play. So I wasn’t going to beat him or do anything obvious. But a vibrating egg would be a lot of fun.

So we found a family bathroom, where I could put it in him. And funny story: of course the women’s bathroom was closed for cleaning at right that moment, so there was a line of women who gave us some funny looks when we went into the bathroom together.

So I got the egg in him, and we went back out into the mall. For a minute, we just strolled, then decided to get lunch at one of the restaurants there.

I didn’t turn the egg on right away. And he said that when it’s off, he could almost forget it was in him.

So we walked a bit, making our way through the mall. We were just talking about vanilla things. Just casual conversation. But then, as he was in the middle of a sentence, I pressed the button on the remote, and the egg buzzed to life inside of him.

And his reaction was everything I’d hoped it would be. He stopped mid-sentence and his hands balled into fists, twitching as he tried not to react. And to his credit, he did a decent job of keeping it together. He kept walking, he walked normally, and other than his hands and his facial expression, you wouldn’t have known by looking at him that anything was going on.

So that was awesome, and I just couldn’t help but giggle. But I was merciful and turned it off after 20 seconds or so, and let him regain his composure.

We got the the restaurant and were seated at our table. Moments later, the waitress came to take our drink order. I gave her mine, and of course I turned the egg on as soon as he started to give her his.

He did a really, really good job of hiding it. She had no idea. But I could see the little signs. The fingers that started frantically tapping the table, the little tremor in his voice, the short hesitation when I first turned it on.

And my grin stretched from ear to ear.

When she walked away, and I turned the egg off, he sighed, then leaned forward and whispered, “You’re evil!”

I laughed and said, “I have never once claimed to be a good person.”

When the waitress came back with our drinks, I decided to be nice, and didn’t turn the egg back on. But she looked at us and said, “You two have been smiling ever since you walked in here.”

And I only grinned wider. If she only knew the reason why…

But as it turns out, the remote was even meaner than I am. At one point, I turned the egg back on, and couldn’t get it to turn off. So he was sitting there, subtly squirming, getting hornier and hornier.

Full disclosure: I wasn’t all that sympathetic to his plight.

We finally left the restaurant and headed back out into the mall. And I think the metal underneath the table must’ve messed with the remote signal or something (I held the remote under the table). As soon as we left the restaurant, it started working perfectly again.

He needed to head to another mall on the Strip to buy a pair of pants, so I drove him there. And once we were in the car, and he didn’t have to worry about hiding his reaction, it was even better. He was squirming and twitching and moaning in the cutest way. It was adorable.

And then, I left it off from the time we got to the mall to the time he was looking at the pants. He bent over to look through a stack on a low shelf, and as soon as he did, I turned the egg back on.

Which was hilarious.

And then I turned it on again as he was talking to the employees, making him deal with it whirring away inside of him as he was trying to carry on a conversation. It was great.

I drove him back to the first mall, and we headed back to the family restroom to take the egg out of him. Luckily, this time, there was no line.

I took the egg out, he walked me to my car, and we hugged and said goodbye. It was a fantastic afternoon.

I can’t wait to see him again. With any luck, next time he comes out, we’ll be able to play privately. That’ll be fun.

So now, I’m about three hours in to my tattoo, and tomorrow night, I’m jumping on a plane to go to the other side of the country to visit my mom’s side of the family.

Oh and it’s cold there. I’ll need a jacket. I’ll need to put a jacket on over a two-day-old, 12-hour tattoo. When I got 6-hour tattoo last year, just the sun shining on it the next morning hurt like a bitch.

That’s not an exaggeration. The sun shining on it literally burned like hell. And it took me completely by surprise, since all my other tattoos are small and didn’t take long. I didn’t know it was even possible for sunlight to be painful, much less that painful. It was nuts.

And now I’m getting a tattoo that’s twice as big (and painful as fuck, by the way), stretching from my shoulder to my elbow, and I’m going to have to put a jacket on over it day after tomorrow.

Fuck me, man.

And I’m not looking forward to spending another week with my mom, and having to deal with my sister. But there is one bright spot during the visit that’ll make my immediate family more bearable. And I seriously love flying, even when it’s coach.

And this’ll be the spawn’s very first plane ride. She’s a little nervous, but I went out and bought her a bunch of new, super-special toys to keep her occupied on the plane. And it’s a red-eye flight, so she should sleep through most of it.

Yeah, so it’ll be fun.

My new toy

My little sissy came over to play.  It was the first time I got to see her en femme, and she’s just as adorable dressed femininely as she is dressed as a man.

I took her into the bedroom, and immediately wanted to devour her.  My desire and lust have been through the fucking roof lately, and I couldn’t keep my hands off of her.  I bent her over the bed, hiked up her mini-skirt, pushed her panties to the side, and pushed the tip of a finger into her dry.  She was so warm, so tight, so inviting.  That ache in me was getting almost unbearable.

I groped her, running my hands all over her hips, thighs, waist, stomach, ribs, everything.  I rubbed her little dick, teasing and playing.

Then, I pulled her panties and her fishnets down, reached over to the pump of lube on top of my dresser, lubed up three fingers, and shoved them into her.  Her adorable little breathless moans did nothing but fuel that ache, fuel my desire, and amp up my sadism to ridiculous levels.

I originally had a general sort of “plan” for what I wanted to while she was here, but all of that went out the window once my Domspace kicked in and the sadistic side of me came out to play.  I wanted to hurt her.  I wanted her to gasp and moan and writhe in pain.

I tend to get what I want.  But still, this was my first time playing with her, and I really do prefer to keep things a little bit more mild the first time or two.  She told me she used to be a hardcore masochist (like being-suspended-from-hooks-stuck-into-the-flesh-of-her-back hardcore… like goddamn) but that she’d kind of gotten away from that.  So I didn’t know where she stood as far as being hurt.  I decided I’d satisfy my sadistic urge, but I’d go just a little easy on her as well.

So I told her to take off her shoes, take off the skirt and panties, and lie down on the bed.  I tied her wrists down, blindfolded her, and grabbed a few of my “insertables.”

I started with the smallest first, as I always do, although in her case, I knew just from fingering her that she probably would’ve been able to take my strap-on without needing to be worked up to it.  I slid the vibe inside her and grabbed my Wartenburg Wheel, pressing it hard against her skin and running it up and down her ribs, inner thighs, balls, and dick.

She was gasping and squirming so deliciously.  And when I reached down to turn the vibe on, I damn near came right then from her reaction.  I fucked her with it for a few moments, loving the soft, shivering noises she made.

Then I pulled out my bag of clothespins.  They’re just crappy little plastic ones that don’t have a lot of bite to them, but they’d work for what I wanted.

Starting at the head of her dick, I began clipping them on her, working my way down her shaft and to her balls.  By the time I was done, she had 34 of them on her, and was rock hard and dripping like crazy.  So I rubbed her head with my fingertip while the vibe whirred away inside her, eliciting lots of fantastic moaning, trembling, and squirming.

Which was fucking awesome.

Finally, I started taking them off, pulling them one by one.  They don’t have a lot of bite, but they have enough to hurt when being pulled off.

But my sadism wasn’t satisfied.  I took the vibe out of her and replaced it with my strap-on, which she took easily.  Too easily.

So I have this plug.  I bought it for that night, but never got around to using it.  And it’s so big, I would probably end up breaking someone (and not in the good way) if I had tried to use it on any of the anal virgins I’d played with most recently.  So it’s been lying, lonely and neglected, in the bottom of my toy bag.

I took it out and lubed it up.

And I’ve got to hand it to her.  She was a trooper.  She ended up not being able to take the whole thing (and I tried for awhile), but she got damn close.  Closer than I thought she’d be able to.  And seriously, she’s fucking adorable when she’s in pain.  It fueled my desire even more, and made me push her even harder to take more and more of it.  She squirmed, she writhed, she would push herself up higher on the bed, trying to get away from me.

Fucking hawt.

Then, I decided to take pity on her, and stopped pushing.  The way she was lying on the bed, I could leave it halfway inside her, and the bed kept it from coming out.  So I grabbed my trusty Thunderstick and pressed it against her dick, turning it on and letting her enjoy it for a minute.  She started squirming again, fucking herself on the plug, pushing it deeper and deeper inside her.

But the thing I love most about the Thunderstick is that it can be so nice, but it can be so very mean

The Hitachi doesn’t hold a candle to it.  I’ve made people scream from it.  Hell, even I can barely handle it turned up just over halfway.  The highest setting is downright fucking evil, and I’m convinced it was designed specifically to use to torment bound subs who can’t get away.

Hitachi who?

Sissy got a taste of that.  I’d already kind of tortured the hell out of her, so I didn’t hold the wand against her for more than a couple of seconds before turning it back down to the nice, sweet, friendly settings.

And then, I wanted to fuck her.  I buckled into my strap-on, untied her, took the plug out of her, and bent her over the bed once again.  I fucked her for a moment before telling her to play with herself.  I wanted her to cum with me inside her.

I grabbed her by her hips, pounding against her, pulling her back against me with every thrust.  She’s about my height, but so slender and little, and she sounds so lovely when she’s being fucked.  It didn’t take her long to cum, and didn’t take me long to figure out that she’s insanely sensitive after cumming, which you know I took advantage of.

But then, finally, I let her go and let her get dressed.  We chatted for a few minutes, and then she surprised me again by grabbing a small book out of her purse and handing it to me.

During our first meeting, we discovered that we’re both fans of Luis Royo, but that I don’t actually own any of his stuff.  So she got me one of his sketchbooks to – as she put it – start my collection (happy squeal).

Seriously… Future subs, she’s ruining it for all y’all.  Tough fucking act to follow.

So I sent her on her way, and cannot wait to see her again.  Now I know that she’s a lot of fun both to talk to and to do wicked, awful things to.  I think I’m definitely going to enjoy my new toy.

Let’s try this again.

I thought I was more or less done getting emotionally attached to subs.  That turned out to be wrong for a number of reasons, most of which I won’t get into here.  That’s a post for another day.

But there is one thing I will talk about.  And that is the sweet little CD sissy I met for lunch yesterday.  I had been talking to him for about a week, and he’s quite adorable.  He met me yesterday, dressed as a male, but I’m mostly likely going to be interacting with him while he’s en femme, and calling him by his sissy name, so it seems fitting that I refer to him as as “she” here.  I’ll also henceforth refer to her as “sissy.”

I got to the restaurant around 1:30 and met her outside.  She was extremely polite, very sweet, and a little bit nervous (they’re so freaking cute when they’re nervous, aren’t they?).  And for a moment in the beginning, there was a little bit of that awkwardness that always happens when I meet a new sub.  But within minutes, that awkwardness disappeared without a trace, and we found ourselves lost in conversation.

I was expecting to be there for an hour, maybe an hour and a half.  I finally left a little after 4.  I’d completely lost track of time.

She’s a great conversationalist, with a fantastic sense of humor.  I laughed so hard and so often, when I finally got the chance to look in a mirror, I saw that some of my eyeliner and mascara had smudged a bit (gasp!).

We talked about a wide variety of things.  I was surprised at how knowledgeable she was, with so many different subjects.  She’s only 25, but it’s obvious she’s spent a lot of time educating herself on a variety of things.  I certainly wasn’t bored.  And when I finally did look at my phone, I was shocked to find out how much time had passed.  It really didn’t feel like that long.

She seems so genuine, so sweet, so willing to go above and beyond what I normally expect from first meetings.  She even surprised me by handing me an envelope shortly after we sat down.

WP_20150728_15_45_59_ProTaped to the envelope are some bluebells.  When she handed it to me, she explained that bluebells are the flower symbolic of submission and submissives (I seem to remember seeing a sub with bluebells etched into her collar, but I may be mistaken… that was years and years and years ago).

She laughed, pointing out that these flowers are Texas bluebells, so technically not the correct flower, but try finding actual bluebells in Vegas in July.

I’ll be honest, I was stunned by that.  In all the years I’ve been doing this, with all the subs I’ve met, I’ve never had one go that far to make a good first impression.  So she has probably pretty effectively ruined it for any sub I meet in the future.  That’s a tough act to follow.

And, because I’m an astrology nerd (shut up, I do it for a living… for the moment, anyway) I asked when her birthday is.  I was stoked to find out that she’s an Aquarius, like me.  So that could definitely have something to do with why we were so comfortable with each other.  What’s more, I’m a mid-Aquarius (which is typically the most “Aquarius-like” Aquarius), while she’s a late Aquarius (which sort of gives someone a somewhat mutable, almost Gemini-like influence to the typical Aquarius traits), which could help alleviate the only real weakness in Aquarius-Aquarius relationships; emotional distance and a tendency to occasionally neglect the relationship.  With her having a more mutable influence, she may be able to help balance that out.

She’s pretty cute, too.  I’ve seen pics of her dressed, and can’t wait to see her en femme in person.

Oh, and she’s familiar with poly-type relationships.  She’s even sort of in one, herself.  She’s got a girlfriend, who knows about this side of her, knows that she likes to dress, knows that she’s submissive and wants a Domme.  The way sissy described it to me is that their relationship is amazing, and they’ve truly brought out the best in one another.  However, their sexuality is so completely different, so completely incompatible, they have opened their relationship and allow each other to have different partners (which makes me wonder if sissy’s girlfriend is an Aquarius, as well, or maybe a Gemini).  They both recognize that they’re simply too good together to break up because of a difference in sexuality, but that they both have needs that need to be met.

And damn, that’s pretty fucking awesome.

The bottom line is that she’s adorable, and I’m really looking forward to seeing where things go with her.  Because of past problems, I’m still staying a bit guarded, and not letting myself get too excited quite yet.  But I’m cautiously optimistic.  I’m going to wait a few months, and hopefully she’ll prove herself to be just as honest and genuine as she seems to be, and we’ll go from there.

Still kind of excited, though.  I’m letting myself be kind of excited.

I hate humans.

God fucking damn it.

Zane was supposed to come over tonight.  We’d gotten it all arranged.  And I told him that I wanted him to suck kazander’s dick (which he had known I wanted for weeks, and was completely fine with).

Then, this morning, I got a text saying that he wanted to cancel, because he “really needs to think about whether he’s comfortable with the whole poly thing.”

Translation: I need to find someone else.

Twice, now.  Twice.  And he was the one I thought I was the safest with, since he’s bi!

I told kazander, and he laughed and said, “I knew he would.”

I said, “What?  How did you know?”

“He was totally fine coming over to play with you, and he was totally fine going out on dates with you, but the minute he needs to blow another dude, he decides he can’t do it.”

“But he’s bi!  He’s blown other guys before.”

“So he says.  Have you seen him do it?  Have you seen a picture of him doing it?”

………

Oh.

From now on, any boy I have come play will blow kazander during the first session.  No exceptions.

I was really excited about him, man.  And I’ll tell you, this feeling fucking sucks.  Especially since I completely let my guard down, assuming that he was telling the truth when he said he was bi, and that he was “looking forward to” sucking kazander’s dick.

It’s the nerd all over again.

That’s why I haven’t spoken much to the virgin, because I’m so afraid that the same thing is going to happen again.  But to be honest, he was the one that was the most honest about his reservations, and he’s the only one who actually did something with kazander, even though it squicked him out.

So yeah.  If they can’t blow him on the first night, I’m not interested.  I’m not putting myself through this again.

But on the bright side, we’re going out tonight, and I look fucking stunning.  So I’m going to drown my sorrows in alcohol and have a good time.

I look fabulous

I look fabulous

kazander isn’t a huge fan of the dress, because it’s got anchors on it, and he says “plus size women shouldn’t wear shit with anchors on them.”

But fuck that.  Nautical theme is in right now.  So is monochromatic red.  And let’s be honest, I look fucking amazing!

Deflowered

I got to play with the virgin this weekend.  Fun times, fun times.

But omigawd, he’s 20 years old!  And for some reason, this didn’t really sink in for me until we were discussing places to meet.  For any boys I’ve met in person who read my blog, they all know that a bar on a weekday is my standard go-to meeting place.  It’s quiet enough that we can have a conversation without fear of being overheard, but public enough to satisfy that nagging desire to not die at the hands of a serial killer.

But he’s twenty years old.  Before I could even suggest the bar, he reminded me of that.

He can’t go to a bar.  Alright, so where else?  I didn’t want to go to a restaurant, so maybe a coffee shop?  All of the coffee shops in the casinos are open twenty-four hours a day, and there’s enough noise that we won’t have to worry about being overheard.

But wait, he’s twenty years old.  Where the hell am I supposed to meet a twenty-year-old at 9:30 at night?

Thankfully, there is one twenty-four-hour Starbucks in the great city of Las Vegas, that isn’t in a casino.  And thankfully, that Starbucks happens to be about a mile from my house.

So we settled on that, I tossed the spawn in bed and went out to meet him.

It was raining, because God hates me.

Oh, what a world

Oh, what a world

But the virgin was a sweetheart.  He had to drive a bit farther to get there, so he suggested that I wait in my car so I don’t have to deal with the rain.

Well, duh.

But he got there, and walked up to my car, and I was flattered when I got out and he handed me a jacket to protect me from the rain.

By the way, it’s June in Vegas.  Jackets are pretty hard to come by these days.

So that was sweet.

And the virgin really is a sweetheart.  He’s tall, which is awesome (he may even be a smidge taller than kazander) with a great, dry sense of humor.  And he has a career at 20, which is awesome.

I think, looking back, that’s what really made me start actively seeking out older men.  I’d always been attracted to them, sure.  But when I was 18, I worked with autistic kids, and I was damn good at my job.  I had a car, I had cash to blow since I was still living with my parents and didn’t have any bills, I had connections, it was great.

But the guys my age were just so stupid.  No car, no job or a minimum-wage job, they just didn’t have their shit together.  Where the older ones, the ones in their mid-to-late twenties, already had all of that down.  Where were the guys like the virgin when I was 20?

So we hung out and chatted for a bit, then went back to my place.  Since we had the new rule, he was expected to sit and hang out with kazander for awhile.  And that went really well.  They got along fine, which made me happy.  So I took him back to the bedroom.

He stripped and I immediately tied him to the bed, on his stomach, and started playing with him.  And the first thing I noticed was how little it took to get a reaction out of him.  At first, I thought he was just really ticklish.  But then I realized (and he confirmed it later on) that it was just that he’d never really been touched there before.

Of course, I made a point not to touch his dick.  He said no one else had ever touched it before, and I had plans.

So I teased him for a bit, then went for the anal plug and shoved it in.  And he took it surprisingly well.

I kept things really, really mild.  Both the nerd and zane had mentioned how incredibly intense the sessions had been (zane was still recovering two days later), and they both at least had some sexual experience, where the virgin had none.  So I didn’t really push him at all.

It turns out, I probably should have.  He mentioned a couple of days later that it had been easier than he’d thought it would be.  Good to know.

But I had fun tormenting him and playing with him while he was on his stomach, then flipped him over.  I teased him some more, then brought kazander in, to enforce my new rule.

The virgin was seriously hesitant about it.  But then he asked, “Can I cum first?”

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Silly boy.

I told him he had to earn it.  So kazander came in, all awkward as hell (this was his very first bi experience, as well), and I made him stand at the side of the bed, next to the virgin, and drop his pants.

They were both reluctant, but the virgin did what he was told and started stroking kazander’s dick.  And I loved the fact that his first sexual contact with someone else was with another man.  Super fun stuff.

And then, I told kazander to stroke the virgin’s dick.  That was exactly why I didn’t touch it.  I wanted the first person to touch his dick to be another man.  And it was fabulous.

I made them look at each other, which kazander later told me sucked ass (it’ll probably suck even greater ass when I make him look at the guy who sucks his dick).

Oh, but kazander was starting to get hard!  Yay for persistence and base manipulation.

I didn’t get that lucky with the virgin.  He was as soft as he could get.  But then again, he didn’t have five years of me gradually fucking with his head, either.  Five years ago, kazander would’ve been soft, too.

So it was fun.  I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

To be honest, though, I’m still a bit wary of the virgin, and his ability to do forced bi in the future.  He didn’t use his safeword, but he was really, really reluctant to do it, and made the comment later that he’s glad I amended my rule.  He didn’t think he’d be able to suck kazander’s dick.

Which is fine.  I mean, I get that.  He’s brand-fucking-new.  But the memory of the nerd still nags at me.  If the nerd hadn’t gone and proclaimed that to be a hard limit, then the virgin and I wouldn’t even be talking, and zane and I wouldn’t be talking, either.  I don’t want to have to deal with that disappointment again.

So I’m being cautious, now, and not letting myself get too excited about the virgin.  I’ll give him a while and see how he does, and he’s promised to let me know ASAP if the forced bi ever becomes too much.

He’s fun to play with, and fun to talk to, but as far as long-term potential goes, I’m definitely more comfortable with zane and his more open sexuality.  Obviously, with him, there isn’t that fear that it’ll become a hard limit.  He’s done it before.  He enjoys doing it.  He knows for a fact that it’s something that could comfortably be made a significant part of his life.  The virgin isn’t so sure.

Both boys have their strengths, and I like both for different reasons.  Zane is smaller, quieter, and has this vulnerability to him that is amazing, and we share a lot of the same interests.  The virgin is taller, more charismatic, with the kind of personality that I usually gravitate toward, he’s very trusting, and he’s very thoughtful and sweet.  Even the age makes a difference.  Zane is 33, only four years older than I am, so we can relate to a lot of things.  The virgin is nine years younger than I am (when I was 18, I was working in a fourth-grade class, full of 9- and 10-year-olds.  He could’ve been one of those 9- or 10-year-olds), and there were some moments during our conversation where the age difference made itself known.  It reminded me of this Facebook meme I saw a few months ago.

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For the record, I have no idea if he knows that or not, but there were a few things that just made me think of it.  So it makes a big difference.

However, there is a big difference in stamina between a 20-year-old man and a 33-year-old man.  The virgin has youth on his side.  And there have been times when the average 30-something guy has had trouble keeping up with me.  So when it comes to sexual ability and sexual stamina, the virgin’s youth definitely works in his favor.

So we’ll see what happens.

Contestant #2

I’m still on the fence about the nerd.  We haven’t played since the session where he told me forced bi is a limit.  Part of that is because he had a family thing that took up most of his time this week, and part of that is because I still don’t know what I’m going to do with him.

I mean, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, here.  It could just be nerves, after all.  The boy is brand-spanking-new (see what I did there?) and it’s a lot to take in for a newbie.

And he really is so adorable.  His little mewling cries, his gasping, whimpering moans, the way he grinds against the dildo when I fuck him….  Freaking adorable.  I don’t want to have to let him go.

So I haven’t really made any decisions about that.  But on Saturday night, zane came over, and I got to play with him for the first time.

And you know what?  I think I’ll be okay even if I have to let go of the nerd.

I knew zane was into bondage, forced femme, humiliation, and forced bi.  He didn’t have much experience with anal, other than the random self-fingering on occasion, so I knew I’d have to start small.

He came over, we went to the bedroom, and I told him to strip.  And once I saw him without his clothes on, I immediately knew that humiliation wouldn’t be the least bit difficult with him.

As I said before, he’s a good-looking guy.  Well-groomed, well-dressed, well-spoken.  A little on the chubby side, but still attractive.

But dude, his dick!

It was tiny.  Laughably tiny.  The smallest I’ve ever seen in person.  Like, whoa.

Small-penis-humiliation it is, then.

I had him stand in the center of the room, naked, his hands behind his back, while I walked around him, inspecting my new toy.  When I trailed my fingertips across his butt, he let out this soft, shuddering gasp that made me instantly wet.  So I tied him spread-eagle to the bed and just spent a few minutes lightly trailing my fingers across his body, talking to him and watching him tremble.

Then, I took a short length of rope and tied it tightly around his dick and balls.  By that time, I was just aching to put something inside him, so I got the smallest vibrator I own and lubed it up.  I fingered him for a bit, first, and I loved his reaction.

He didn’t moan (actually, he hardly made any noise at all, through the entire session) but he gasped and started writhing a bit as I slowly fingered him.  I gave him a moment to adjust to being penetrated for maybe the fourth time in his life, and certainly the first time by someone else, and then pressed the tip of the dildo against his hole.

God, he was so nervous!  It was so cute.  As I started sliding the vibe inside him, he gasped again and arched his back, pulling on the cuffs that held him down.  It was freaking adorable.

So I fucked him for a bit, then left the vibe inside him and moved on to the whartenburg wheel, vampire gloves, and nipple clamps.  A little pain is good for the soul, after all.

After a few minutes of that, I reached back down to the vibe and turned it on low.  I guess he didn’t realize that it vibrated.  He was completely startled by it, and it elicited one of the very few moans I got from him throughout the night.  Again, I spent a few minutes giving him a slow, thorough fucking.

But then, I figured his ass would probably need a break.  He was still practically a virgin, after all.  So I took the vibe out, untied him, and tossed him a pair of panties to put on.  I spent some time verbally humiliating him, calling him a girl’s name, reaching into his panties to rub his “clit,” or reaching further down to finger his pussy, and grabbing his tits.  I made him kneel down and kiss my feet, taking the opportunity to reach over and play with his ass some more.

Then, I buckled a collar around his neck and attached a chain with two wrist cuffs and two ankle cuffs attached to it.  It’s great for hogtying, but I used it in the front, cuffing his hands and ankles and effectively forcing him into a fetal position.  I did some spanking, some mild CBT, and then put the vibe back inside him and turned it on as high as it would go, alternating between fucking him with it and spanking him.

I was surprised, though.  I was expecting his ass to be sore by that point, but it wasn’t.  So I left it in and grabbed my vibrating wand, pressing it against his dick.  He immediately started writhing and panting, but I kept asking him questions, making him answer, keeping him distracted and not allowing him to lose himself in the pleasure.  I asked him about his previous play experiences, about the cocks that he’s sucked, I asked him if any woman had ever laughed at his pitiful dick, etc.  I only meant to edge him, but as it turned out, I gave him a ruined orgasm.  Oops.

But I wasn’t done with him yet.  After humiliating him for cumming in his panties, I started playing with the super-sensitive head until he was begging me to stop.  Then I flipped him over, so he was on his knees, ass in the air, and face down on the bed.  He was still cuffed, so he couldn’t move.  I pushed his panties down, and started fucking him again.  And he was doing much better than I anticipated, so I moved up to my next-size-up dildo and put that in him and fucked him for awhile.  He was still doing great, so I decided to try my strap-on (which I didn’t think he’d be able to take for at least a few weeks).

But he took that one like a champ, too.  So, to reward him for being such a good butt slut, I grabbed the wand again and held it against his dick while I fucked his ass.  He came in less than a minute.

And then he collapsed, falling onto his side, panting and breathing hard, goosebumps all over his arms, legs, chest, and butt.  I took the dildo out of him, untied him, and spent a few minutes running my fingers through his hair as he recovered.  I gave him some water and let him get dressed.

He was adorable.  He said he felt like his whole body was buzzing, and he had some trouble remaining upright.  I asked if he was okay to drive, and when he didn’t answer right away, I told him to sit back down and hang out for a minute.  So we chatted.  I asked him what his favorite part was, and he said it was having the vibe in his ass and on his dick at the same time.  His least favorite was adjusting to each new toy as I pushed it in.  But he was surprised when I showed him my strap-on.  He didn’t realize he’d taken something that big.

It took almost twenty minutes before he felt up for driving, so I walked him to his car, gave him a hug, and sent him on his way with strict orders to text me so I’d know he got home okay.  And he did, because he’s a good girl.

I can’t wait to play with him again.