Creating a submissive mindset

One of the things I’ve been asked most often by inexperienced Dominant women is how to create a submissive headspace in their partner.

And yeah, it can be tough.  Real life and its responsibilities can make things difficult, and put a sub’s headspace far from where it should be.

The best way, in my experience, is to appeal to the sub’s lust and desire, and combine that with surprise and humiliation.  This combination creates a firm reminder of his position in the relationship, and the surprise is to jar his head a bit, to break the hold that the real-world bullshit has on him.

Interestingly enough, I was just talking today about something I’ve done to surprise and alter my boys’ headspace, so I figured I’d do it again tonight.

Kazander’s had a rough couple of weeks at work.  Like, rough enough that he may start looking for a new job.  And rough enough that trying to achieve a submissive headspace when he gets home takes a lot of effort.

There are a number of ways to combat this.  But one of the most effective is one of the simplest.  You can’t do it often, or it’ll lose some of the effectiveness, but when it’s done right, it works wonders.

I told him to text me when he was on his way home from work.  As soon as I got his text, I took the kid next door and left her with the SIL, who had agreed to watch her for a few minutes.

Then I grabbed my strap-on.

I was standing there, with the strap-on harness on and lube in hand, when he walked in the door.

I’ve done this to him before, but not for a long time, so he was sufficiently surprised.  After a long day, it was the last thing he expected.

Without a word, I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside.  I bent him over the back of the couch and reached around to unbutton his pants.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” he said.  He’d just gotten home from a long day in a warehouse with no climate control.

But honestly, I don’t care.  So what if it’s a little dirty?  There’s this new invention out, brand spanking new, just hit the market today.

It’s called soap.  And indoor plumbing.

And I felt like objectifying him just then.

“Shut up,” I told him, pulling his jeans down and exposing his ass.  And as soon as I did, his lust took over (I know, it doesn’t take much).  When he felt my hands on his thighs, he moaned softly and pushed his ass out, wanting to be fucked.

Such an eager anal slut.

I didn’t say anything as I started pounding him.  In that moment, he wasn’t a man, he wasn’t a person.  He was just a hole for me to take my enjoyment from, and I wanted to make sure he knew it.

The play didn’t last long.  It didn’t have to.  After I’d had my fill of fucking him, I pulled out, spanked him once, then just walked away and left him there with his pants around his ankles.

He sighed and pulled up his pants, his headspace firmly where I wanted it, the rough day at work forgotten.  After we’d cleaned up, he dropped to his knees behind me and asked to kiss my ass and my feet before we went to get the kid.

All in all, it lasted barely twenty minutes.  And he was in a much more relaxed and submissive state of mind the entire night.  Just twenty minutes, that’s all it took.

It’s so simple, but so effective.

2 thoughts on “Creating a submissive mindset

  1. dave94015 says:

    Reblogged this on dave94015 and commented:
    It’s the little things that a dominant can do…to get her partner into a submissive headspace

  2. dave94015 says:

    Your post nailed it…it’s the little things that you fit into your busy schedule that serve to remind us of our special relationship!

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