Fun with a conservative.

I just find it funny that all you liberals who got your panties in a bunch over conservatives calling Obama names have no problem calling Trump names.  Can’t really take anything you say seriously when you reveal yourself to be a libtard hypocrite.  He’s still your President and he still deserves your respect.  If you don’t want to live your life by honoring this country’s Constitution, then don’t live here.  This country is better off without you gun-hating hippies anyway.

M’kay so this isn’t a political blog, but I couldn’t resist this one.  For, you know, obvious reasons.

Also, just as an aside, I find it hilarious that a) at least one conservative reads the blog, and b) of literally all. the. shit. on this blog a conservative could be upset about, it’s calling the president names that gets the angry “libtard snowflake” letter.

So, dear commenter, I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but did you know our Constitution has more than just the second amendment?

Like, twenty-six more?

I know!  It’s crazy, right?

And one of those amendments, specifically the first one, has a bit to say on exactly this subject.

Like, it says many things about exactly this.

Which you would probably know if you had a basic understanding of how internet search engines work.  Just sayin’…

Anyway, one of the things it says is that, if I want to call Hitler-But-Stupider names, I can.  As often as I want.  As loudly as I want.  Just like conservatives are allowed to call Obama names.  I don’t have a problem with it.

In this case, I’m not a hypocrite because a) I never complained about conservatives calling Obama names, and b) I’m not a liberal.

So I can call Jack-O-Lantern-Gone-Terribly-Wrong whatever names I want.  I can even go further than that if I wanted to.  I’m completely within my rights as an American.  And what’s more, I am honoring and upholding the US Constitution by doing it.

What I cannot do, and what no American can legally do, is to threaten him with violence, or to say anything that would knowingly incite violence against him.

And actually, you know that comment Trump made that all his cult members loved so much?  Oh, it was something about the Constitution, actually.  Man, what was it?  I can’t remember…

OH WAIT…

Now people have been debating what he meant ever since he said it.  I don’t want to get into it here, I don’t care.  Because a) when taking into account his past comments and general character, it’s fucking obvious, m’kay, b) for purposes of this discussion, it doesn’t actually matter that much what he meant, and c) what in the actual hell are “Second Amendment People?”

Just a quick tangent.  Because seriously, what are “Second Amendment People?”

Are there other kinds of Amendment People?  Are there 18th Amendment People?

What I especially love about his comment is that he calls gun-lovers “Second Amendment People,” and the way he says it really kinda implies that he isn’t one of them.  Could it be that your Messiah doesn’t actually support the second amendment?

Gasp!  The horror!

And you know the funny thing about all the psychos who harp on the second amendment (which is the right to own guns, for those who don’t live here)?  I mean, other than the fact that no democratic politician is ever going to abolish it, despite the crazy people screaming that they’ll “Take away our guns!”

And seriously, even if a politician wanted to try and abolish it, it would never work.  Because every Republican in the country would shoot it down, and, contrary to popular right-wing belief, the vast majority of Democrats would shoot it down, too.

Including me, m’kay.  As long as proper precautions are taken by a knowledgeable and responsible owner, I have literally zero problem with guns.  Right now, as I write this, I’m less than 10 yards away from… Oh gawd, I dunno… 8, I think?  But 2 of them are like, crazy old, and I think one of them can still be fired, but it’s not a great idea to test that theory, so I’m not sure if they count.

Oh and my daughter is currently sleeping within 20 feet of them.  And I’m totally fine with that.  Because facts, m’kay.

No one wants to take away your guns.  We just want to make it harder for criminals and terrorists and people with severe mental illnesses to get them.

I mean, right now, literally today, any psycho can go to a gun show, buy an automatic rifle, no questions asked, and then go shoot up a school.  Do you honestly not have a problem with that?

Because, uh, I have a problem with that.

And because I’m not an idiot, I know that outlawing guns, even if it were possible, would be a terrible idea.  Because literally the only people that law would affect are sane, responsible, law-abiding gun owners.  Because they’re the only ones that would turn in their guns.

So what does that leave?  It leaves criminals, terrorists, and people with severe mental illnesses.

The only effect that outlawing guns in this country would have is that only outlaws would have them.

I mean, really?  Is that what conservatives think we want?

Yeah, sure.  We already have like a ridiculous problem with mass shootings.  Like, there have been 121 mass shootings (defined by 4 or more people being shot in one incident) in this country so far.  As of yesterday (so that number is probably higher now).

Sure.  So let’s make it so that only criminals, terrorists, and mentally ill people will be able to get their hands on them.  That’ll totally fix it.  It’s a fantastic idea.

Yeah dude, we’re not that dumb.

Which you might realize if you weren’t so busy screaming about how anyone who isn’t a “Second Amendment Person” wants to take away your guns.

But back to my original point….

So when your beloved Fuhrer said that his supporters should use their second amendment rights with Clinton, he was literally breaking the law and VIOLATING THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION, on national television, because he was encouraging violence toward another individual.

So of course you wrote him an angry letter about upholding the Constitution or not living here, right?  All you “true patriots” did, right?

Oh wait, you didn’t.  You loved it.  No but it’s cool, he’s gonna drain the swamp.

Does anyone know the definition of a hypocrite?

I can’t say anything that would knowingly incite violence against him, or say anything directly to him that would knowingly provoke extreme distress.

So you know, if I walked up to him and told him his ass looks fat, and he curled up in the corner crying because he just can’t handle it when everyone doesn’t worship the ground he walks on, and he doesn’t know how to handle a strong woman who isn’t afraid or intimidated by him, then I would be exceeding the limits of my free speech.  Because I’d say it knowing that it would cause him severe emotional distress.

Because he’s a child.

And an idiot.

Interestingly enough, the sex stuff I talk about is less protected than me calling the president A-Fart-In-An-Elevator-But-With-Hair.  Because it appeals to the “prurient interest,” and potentially encourages others to have a “morbid interest in sex.”

Not even kinky sex.  Just regular sex.  Anything that encourages a lot of interest in sex is not protected by the right of free speech. But literally saying, “Trump should be disemboweled, gangraped, fed his own testicles, and then buried alive!” is protected.  Because even though it’s a threat, the Supreme Court ruled that “threats may not be punished if a reasonable person would understand them as obvious hyperbole.”

So I can talk about graphically murdering the president, as long as I don’t mean it (or as long as it’s funny, but only if the person you’re talking about is a public figure), but I can’t encourage an interest in traditional sex between consenting adults.

Because that’s a thing that makes sense to American lawmakers.

Now, I actually am protected in this case because my blog, taken as a whole, has literary and informative merit.  It’s not encouraging sex just for the sake of encouraging sex.

But I’m just saying that I’m like, basking in a sea of American rights by calling Cunty McTwat every name I can come up with.

And no, I don’t respect Trump.  Like, at all.

Could you tell?  What gave it away?

I do however, respect the position of President of the United States, which Daft Drumpf currently occupies.  And as someone who, despite our many, many, many flaws, is proud to be an American, I will protect and defend that position, even when it’s occupied by an orange penis capable of semi-intelligent speech.

Which means, if I were to find out about any threats to him, or anything like that, I would report it asap.  If I were ever unlucky enough to be in the same room as him, I would gladly protest his very existence.  Loudly and passionately.  Right up until someone were to try and attack him or otherwise physically harm him.

And then, because he is the president (and you have no idea how painful this is to write, by the way.  I intend to avoid ever being in the same room as him specifically to avoid the infinitesimally small possibility of this ever happening, because it would scar my soul for life), I would do whatever is in my power at the time to protect him.

Ugh, seriously, my jaw is hurting now from clenching it as I wrote that. Painful.

But I expect that of myself as an American.  And I expect it of any liberal or Trump protestor.  Just as I would’ve expected it of any conservative when Obama was in office.

Whether or not you’re a fan of the embarrassment to our country that the current president embodies, that’s your job.  That’s the terms and conditions, and your continued residency and citizenship implies agreement to all the terms and conditions.

Free speech is part of those terms and conditions.  And I’m gonna take full advantage of that right.

Don’t like it?  Don’t live here.

7 thoughts on “Fun with a conservative.

  1. Coyote from Orion says:

    Exactly. It’s not hatred when they are having fun and are spending other people’s money to look cooler doing it. Hatred is hatred. Symptom of the universe a love that never dies. X

  2. Coyote from Orion says:

    Apparently I am not allowed to be discriminatory towards myself. Will these people ever chill out. They are the biggest tryhard capitalists of the lot. I claiming to have never blown is a line long passed down from father to everyone

  3. mrbillsails says:

    Absolutely wonderful! I totally agree with everything you have so perfectly stated here. So funny and sadly true.

    mrbill

  4. Coyote from Orion says:

    Re read it a day later and still agree. One of the the great things about democracy is that when I don’t het my way I can still be a good citizen and protect the rights of other reasonable citizens who also wish to harm none. I do still wonder if I can take a taser hit but seeing as I don’t do anything criminal or my footy team hasn’t won a premiership in a while, it seems unlikely I will find out soon.

  5. jonah quick says:

    i understand your sentiment but cherry picking a silly comment made from a random conservative doesn’t advance the conversation.
    nutty comments come from both sides – even from high profile elected officials such as maxine waters, too easy.
    what is the best way to run a society ? gov’t ? economy ?
    we’re in kind of a funny inflection point right now , the same people that use to argue for free speech ( the communists at berkeley ) now want to limit free speech for the other side…. or the limiting and heavy taxation
    on peoples right to smoke cigarettes (for their own good) in favor of
    the legalization of marijuana… which are unfiltered and MORE dangerous.
    sure, we get that you had an emotional response to someone using the
    term ”libtard snowflake” .. it’s childish – but instead wouldn’t it be better
    to show off your intellect and wisdom ?

    • Domina Jen says:

      Um… did you read the entire post? I didn’t “cherry pick” anything, I addressed everything he said in his letter.

      Like, I’m so confused by this, I don’t even know how to answer it. Where, exactly, do you get the impression that I had an emotional response to being called a libtard snowflake? Particularly since he *literally didn’t call me that?*

      Also, when I explained what, exactly, the first amendment says regarding his main issue (which was me calling Trump names), that wasn’t emotional at all. That was all intellect and wisdom there, honey.

      The only conclusion I can reach is that you didn’t read the entire post, or you skimmed it and decided to write a reply based on reading only a few sentences.

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