So I apparently have a “nemesis.”
This woman is someone I’ve known, both online and in person, for… oh gawd, 10-ish years now? She’s a “Domme,” and she’s definitely a member of the “One Twue Way” club.
She and I butt heads on quite a few things. For example, she’s said I’m “not a real Dominant” because I do all the housework and child-raising, and Kazander doesn’t have to lift a finger.
M’kay, first of all, he does lift a finger. Every morning, at 7am, when he goes to work while my ass is still sleeping. Silly me, I guess “real Dominants” have to be entitled, lazy brats who spend all day at the salon while their subs go to work and do all the housework.
Secondly, I love my husband, and there are a great many things he does well. There are a great many things he does significantly better than I do. Raising kids is not one of them. This is the same man who has asked me… repeatedly… how to work a damn sippy cup. I’m not kidding, we’ve actually had that conversation more than once.
So she doesn’t think I’m a “Twue Dommely Domme,” and we also have different ideas of how a submissive should behave at an event.
She expects everyone who identifies as a submissive to use a title when talking to her, and I have actually laughed in her face when she told me she was offended that my ex wasn’t using her title, and that I should correct his behavior.
I reminded her that my ex belonged to me, not to her, and for someone as “into” consent as she is (she’s very much against consensual nonconsent), it was interesting that she would try to force submission from someone who had not offered it to her.
She also has a problem with polyamory, and has recently expressed frustration at the fact that many Dommes don’t have subs to escort them to munches or events, while I have 3.
She’s also left a couple of comments on posts, most recently this one. And just this evening, a friend told me that she’d been badmouthing me to some of their mutual friends, claiming that I’m cruel to my subs and that they would be better off if they left me for someone “sane and responsible.”
Someone, incidentally, like her. And she has actually contacted a couple of my exes over the years, trying to convince them to leave me. For her.
But through all of this, I just have to laugh. I find it amusing that a woman almost twice my age has devoted so much of her time to trying to discredit me.
But it doesn’t really matter. I am not hugely concerned with what others think of me. And I don’t really play the politics game within the BDSM community, so I just don’t care. It’s entertaining more than anything else.
She goes through phases. Most of the time, we don’t interact at all. We don’t hang out in the same circles, we don’t have the same friends, we don’t acknowledge one another on Fetlife, nothing. That actually works just fine for me.
But every couple of years or so, she gets on this “Take Jen Down!” kick, and for, I don’t know, a month or two, she’ll shout from the rooftops about how awful I am. Then, she’ll scream herself out and disappear for another couple of years.
It’s entertaining, it really is.