Wish granted

M’kay, wow…

I was stunned by the number of messages requesting that I post a recording.

Y’all don’t understand. I literally don’t own a microphone. I’ve got the one in my phone, and the one in my computer, and that is it.

And just for shits and giggles, I did try out a recording of Habanera on my phone. Ugh, it was painful to listen to. It just won’t work.


I mentioned it to Kazander, who said, “Why not just use that recording of you singing at church? Didn’t you get all ‘opera-y’ in that?”

Well damn, I’d completely forgotten that existed.

A while ago, my church did this little production for their Easter services, and I was asked to sing for it.

Couple things, though.

First, the song is God Help the Outcasts, which is a licensed song owned by Disney, who is not known for being great at sharing. So, while other services at my church are recorded, this one wasn’t, because Disney is just mean like that, and that’s the only way the church could do it legally. Kazander recorded it on his phone (I think he still had an iPhone 2 or something ridiculous like that, I can’t remember, so that may tell you a bit about the quality of the recording).

So it’s not fantastic quality, and near the end of the first verse, you can hear some feedback from the mic, that’s distracting (and I’m not in love with this particular performance. I don’t love how there are some places where I go flat. I was seriously — and still am — out of practice). And it’s not opera, although the original song is fucking low, so we transposed it… I think 3 whole steps?  Maybe 3 and a half? Something like that. So most of it is sung in my non-classical voice (which is solid, but nothing to write home about).  But quite a bit of the refrains are in my classical voice.

For the record, there is a big fucking difference between a classical voice and a non-classical one. It uses a completely different set of muscles, word pronunciation is different, it really is a massive pain in the ass to switch between the two in the same song.

But it does have a F#5, which is pretty damn high. But I can actually go an octave-ish higher, to an F6 (if I’m super warmed up and working specifically toward it, I can hit an F#6). Once upon a time, I could hit a G6, but I don’t sing as often as I used to, and I’m doing any training.

So here you go, a recording of me singing. Because it’s not great quality, and classical singing is hard to understand anyway, I’m posting the lyrics.

And again, I don’t love this performance. I was pretty disappointed in it, actually. But after the Mass, I had dozens and dozens of people come up to me to tell me how amazing it was, and how it made them tear up (and I remember looking over when I was done and saw the priest wiping his eyes). So apparently it’s good enough.

I’m a terrible judge of my own performances, anyway.  All I can hear are the flaws, because I know what I sound like when it’s perfect.  I know what I’m capable of when I’m really on point.  And I just wasn’t in this.  But again, it was good enough to make the priest cry, so I’ll take it.

I don’t know if You can hear me
Or if You’re even there
I don’t know if You would listen
To my humble prayer
They tell me that I’m just an outcast
I shouldn’t speak to You
Still, I see your face and wonder
Were You once an outcast, too?

God help the outcasts
Hungry from birth
Show them the mercy
They don’t find on earth
The lost and forgotten
They look to You still
God help the outcasts
Or nobody will

I ask for nothing
I can get by
But I know so many
Less lucky than I
God help the outcasts
The poor and down trod
I thought we all were
Children of God

I don’t know if there’s a reason
Why some are blessed, some not
Why the few You seem to favor
They fear us
Flee us
Try not to see us

God help the outcasts
Tattered and torn
Seeking an answer
To why they were born
Winds of misfortune
Have blown them about
You made the outcasts, don’t cast them out

The poor and unlucky
The weak and the odd
I thought we all were children of God

It’s being lame and not letting me embed it in the post, so you’ll have to go to this link and listen to it there.

And for the record, no, I’m not worried about anyone recognizing me from this.  Because of the 300 or so people who heard it, they probably aren’t cruising sex blogs.  And if they are, and they remember this, they can’t out me without outing themselves, too.

Besides, my singing voice and my speaking voice are quite different.  Obviously my speaking voice is a hell of lot lower (remember, I started as a mezzo soprano, one of the lowest female voices).  And there aren’t a lot of people I know in person who have heard me sing.  There are maybe 6 people on the planet (who don’t already know I’m kinky) who would be able to recognize me from this recording.  I’m not hugely worried.