Quote of the day

“Wait, what’s happening here?”

“Don’t fight it.”

“Oh honey, I’m not gonna.”

Said as the hot fucking dancer gave me the surprise lapdance Red bought me (it was an amazing lapdance, too).

In between the dancers pouring tequila down my throat (I love being a chick in a strip club) and the guys all calling the phone (set to vibrate, and of course I didn’t know the password to unlock it and take it off vibrate, and seriously, why do they make those phone vibrate so strongly? Phone manufacturers are fucking perverts, man) I’d taken from one of our other friends and hidden down my pants.

I’m going to pretend that I’m annoyed by that, mkay? (The dancers damn sure weren’t annoyed by that, by the way. I fucking love being a chick in a strip club. Like seriously, is there anything better?).

So yeah, the guys kept calling the phone and making it vibrate.

We’ll pretend I’m annoyed by that.

I’m super annoyed by that.

Those motherfuckers…

20160904_004036.jpg

And midget wrestling. This photo was taken on my phone by the dancer sitting in my lap. She says hi, by the way. I kinda love my life.

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