I’m a heterosexual submissive woman who has always been simultaneously turned off and fascinated by submissive men, and I was hoping you could maybe shed some light on them, and why you’re attracted to them.
For me, I’m turned on when I see a man in all his glory, strong, powerful, and in control. It’s so hot knowing that he has that strength in him.
And it feels so secure knowing that he has everything. That he can handle everything. All I need to do is trust him and do what he says and everything will be alright.
I’m a strong woman. I love the quote “Don’t look for a princess in need of saving. Look for a queen willing to fight by your side.” I could never take a weak man seriously. I need a strong man. It takes a King to rule me. Nothing less.
I couldn’t imagine a relationship with a man who isn’t capable of handling me.
But I’ve talked to a couple of submissive men and I’m wondering if maybe I’m way off base here and there’s like this whole element I’m missing. Am I missing anything here?
What is it about submissive men that you find attractive? Why do you prefer them over a good Dominant man?
Haven’t you ever just wanted to relax and let someone else take the lead?
No I have not.
I’m guessing you’re a new-ish reader. Welcome to the blog, and thank you for writing.
But I have to ask… Did you happen to notice those tabs there on the left? At the top of the side bar?
You want to know what I love about submissive men? That link is a good start.
As turned off as you are by submissive men, multiply that by a few thousand and you’ll begin to hold a candle to a fraction of how I feel about most Dominant men.
They don’t just turn me off. They literally repulse me. Whenever a guy starts to get all “Domly” with me, it makes my skin crawl. Even thinking about it makes me cringe.
Sounder once described a conversation with a Dom douchebag, who told him,”The king gets to fuck the queen, and all you get to do is lie at her feet.”
His response was, “Any weak, self-absorbed asshole can fuck someone. But to protect and serve a queen requires actual strength and fortitude.”
Now, don’t get me wrong. You’re into Dominant men. What turns me off to them probably turns you on. You and I are apparently on complete opposite sides of the spectrum.
And that’s fine. That’s the kind of man you want, that’s the kind of relationship you want, and more power to you. It’s all about what makes you happy. You seem to know what makes you happy, and that’s a good thing.
But you’ll have to forgive me for raising an eyebrow or two as I read this.
First of all, regarding weak men. There is nothing wrong with weak men. Not everyone can be a hero. Not everyone has that strength of spirit. I have loved my fair share of weak men, and there’s just something so guileless and trusting and vulnerable in the way they love. It’s unique to them, and they have their place. They’re beautiful, their weakness is beautiful.
But I know you don’t think all submissive men are weak (or that all weak men are submissive. I can list a terrifying number of weak “Doms”).
You’re a submissive and you claim you’re a strong person. I believe you. My reasons for believing you, despite the fact that I don’t know you, bear a post of their own, but for now, we’ll just simplify it and say I fully believe you are a strong person.
If you’re a submissive, and a strong person, why would you think that wouldn’t be true for a submissive man?
Have you read any of my posts describing my subs? They’re the strongest people I’ve ever met. The things they’ve endured, the things they’ve been through, the way they’ve come out the other side, stronger and harder, is awe-inspiring. All three of them have impressed and astounded me. They’re absolutely incredible, and I consider myself lucky to own them.
You talk about kings. My subs are the kings in my world. But they do not rule me. I rule them.
My world is like chess. The king doesn’t hold the power; the queen does. The game is won or lost by her decisions. The king lives or dies by her choices. She leads the army, she charges into battle, and she fiercely protects her king.
She’s brutal. And manipulative. And relentless. No one questions her. No one challenges her.
That’s my world. And it takes a strong man to handle me, to handle what I put them through, what I make them endure. I’m not gentle with my boys. And there have been many who simply couldn’t handle what I wanted.
Kazander, Steel, and Sounder are strong men who can handle me, can handle being owned by me and can handle being in a relationship with me.
That asshat Dom claimed he was a king, but he was just a little boy who wanted to boss someone around. And sadly, there are a great number of pricks like him. I could never respect a man like that. I could never take him seriously.
I love Sounder’s response to him. But that Dom wasn’t a king. Sounder is. He deserves every bit of the respect I feel for him. He has the strength and fortitude it takes to serve selflessly, to put someone else’s wants and needs before his own.
It’s like a conversation I had with Steel recently, about why I wasn’t actively looking to have penetrative PIV sex. Because anyone can fuck. But it takes a special kind of man to give me what I want, who can meet my depravity with eagerness, who can willingly follow me down that dark, twisted path.
Anyone can hold a woman down and fuck her. Dominant men and the people who like them are fine, and have every right to have what they want, have the relationship they want. But to me, there’s just nothing special about a Dominant man. They’re a dime a dozen. And I’ve only ever met one I could respect.
Submissive men are special. They’re incredible. They’re admirable and wonderful, and I could fill page after page with words about how much I love them.
My subs are the kings of my world, and they have the strength and fortitude necessary to serve me selflessly and follow me wholeheartedly.