Addiction

Jen,

Okay here goes. I finally decided to ask you a question. As you know I am submissive. One of my favorite kinks is humiliation. Basically I think I am addicted to it. My question is how far is too far to take this addiction?

I recently posted myself to two various expose cheater sites. With a made up story but real pics of me. The sites have my real name, location as well. There are exposure pics of me on tumblr and Facebook under my sissy name. I know taking it to far could lead to me being connected to these pics. But I can’t seem to stop. Some of my friends or acquaintances know about this and encourage me to do so. To post more go further.

Parts of me want to stop, the other part wants to make it worse on myself. I almost sent you the links and pics so you could see for yourself just how far I am going. I am curious as to what you think of it.

Thanks

Anonymous

Well…

My first reaction is to quote the Wiccan golden rule:  An it harm none, do what ye will.

But that’s not really a complete answer.  Because at some point, is this addiction going to harm you?

It’s entirely possible.  If you’re connected to the photos, how would that affect your life?  That’s something you need to think about every time you post a pic of your face, or your real name.  You need to ask yourself if the rush is worth the risk.

And I mean, I get it.  Humiliation, in its various forms, is fucking amazing.  Granted, I’ve always experienced it from the opposite side of the whip as you, but I understand the draw, I understand that rush.  I can understand becoming addicted to that rush, that particular combination of chemicals released in your brain.

And, as with any other event/substance/whatever that affects your brain chemistry, it becomes an addiction (and a problem) if it starts interfering with your everyday life.  For example, if a regular old background check for a new job brings up a bunch of those photos and sites, you may find yourself having trouble.  Once something is on the internet, it’s there forever.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t do what you love doing.  You’re a grown ass man, and you’re capable of weighing those options and making those decisions.

If you feel like the addiction may be messing with your decision-making ability, it might be a good idea to seek out a humiliatrix to help keep your impulses under control.  And that’s not something that necessarily has to be local to you.

If that’s not feasible, then you’ll have to reign that in on your own.  It may be difficult, but just keep in mind that the difference between a nice rush and a problematic addiction is your ability to control it.

You may always want more.  And you absolutely wouldn’t be the only one to feel that way.  I’ve known quite a few men with humiliation fetishes (or blackmail fetishes) who never feel that kink truly satisfied, no matter how far they go (and yes, I once watched a man completely sabotage his own life, irreparably, and there was nothing anyone could say to stop him from doing it).

But that’s the difference between fantasy and reality, and there may come a point where the level of humiliation you crave would be better left in the realm of fantasy.  I have plenty of fantasies that will never be fulfilled, simply because the reality wouldn’t work/isn’t feasible/would have unacceptable repercussions/etc.  I know I’m not the only one.

So in summation, I can’t really tell you what’s “too far.”  You have to be the one to decide that.  You have to take a good, long look at the possible repercussions of posting that information, and the likelihood of those repercussions coming to fruition.  You may decide that the risk is completely acceptable, and you’re willing to accept the possible repercussions, and if that’s the case, then more power to you.

I can’t tell you how far you can take the addiction.  But if you take a good, long look at yourself, and you decide that maybe this is a problem, and you need help, then you can reach out to people capable of helping you, whether that be a professional, or trusted (level-headed) friend, or someone whose advice and wisdom you respect.

And when I say “friend,” I do not mean the people who will egg you on, no matter the consequences.  I’ve been around enough drunk and rowdy people to know that egging someone on rarely ends well.  Your friends and acquaintances have nothing to lose if you’re connected to those pictures.  You do.

If you’re at a point where you truly feel like you can’t stop, and that this addiction is controlling you, then of course I’ll be happy to help in any way I can.

But, a) I’m not a psychologist, and b) you and I live nowhere near each other.  That may severely limit any truly practical help I could offer.  You may need a local, kink-friendly addiction specialist to help you out.

And keep in mind that I highly doubt you’d have to stop completely.  That’s your kink, that’s the rush you crave, and I’m totally for you being able to satisfy it.  I know how the other side of that rush feels, and I can absolutely understand the craving.  Just make sure that satisfying the craving doesn’t have far-reaching consequences.

2 thoughts on “Addiction

  1. Anonymous Addict says:

    Jen.
    Thank you for your advice. Of course I know you completely right in everything you said it. Its what I have said myself. My need to be humiliated comes and goes. Sometimes I can keep it fully in check. This is the first time I ever went so far as make sure I was posted on websites where removal of my pictures would be a hard task to do . Not to mention having those pics linked to my Real Name not my sissy name. Since the day I posted to those two or three sites. I have controlled the urge to post again or post screenshots of the pics to places like tumblr. whether or not I keep up that control or give in to that thought of oh hell just post it. I’m not sure if that day will come. Then again I never thought I would post myself to those sites either.

    • Domina Jen says:

      It can definitely be a slippery slope, and that control is supremely important. If you feel that “oh hell, just post it” feeling, and are having trouble reigning in that impulse, email me first. Tell me why you shouldn’t post it, and tell me how you feel about those potential risks.

      I obviously cannot reply this often to all emails, but I check my email every 2 hours while I’m awake, and I will make time to help you if you need it.

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