I went back over to Sounder’s last night. I texted him about a week ago and told him I wanted him to do something for me. I wanted him to clean my car.
He said, “Absolutely. But what’s the catch?”
He knows me all too well.
Of course I couldn’t let him clean anything unless he was wearing his French maid costume. With his makeup done, and his hair up. He’s lucky that the Aneros he’d bought wasn’t in yet. Otherwise, that would’ve been inside him, too.
There was something else I wanted to do to him, too. He looks so good in his girls’ clothes, but the chest hair just had to go. So I brought wax strips with me, and was going to wax his chest.
I had him lie down on the bed, and put the first two strips on him. Oh, it was going to be fun. But I wasn’t mean. I didn’t draw it out or anything. I yanked the first strip off, and he took it surprisingly well. Good, so it wouldn’t take long at all.
And his reactions were great. I couldn’t keep myself from giggling as I pulled strip after strip off him. He really is so cute when he’s in pain.
When I was done with that, I got him dressed, styled his hair, and then we went down to the garage (which was closed, I’m not mean enough to make him deal with the possibility of being seen by his neighbors like that) and he got to work.
Not five minutes after he got started, my best friend called, and I started talking to her, more or less ignoring Sounder the entire time.
Sometimes I feel bad for her, though. She’s so painfully conservative when it comes to relationships and sex, and neither she nor her husband are really satisfied.
So I chatted with her and drank my wine while Sounder dutifully cleaned my car. And when he was done, we went back inside, and I bent him over his kitchen island and fingered him for a bit.
Shortly after that, though, I took him upstairs. There was something else I was wanting to do. I was going to let him cum, as a reward for being an obedient boy and cleaning my car. But he was going to eat it, for the very first time.
I told him to lie down on the bed, then pulled out my vibrating wand.
And I learned a couple of things.
First of all, he moves more like a girl now. Which shocked the hell out of me. I wasn’t expecting that. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever consciously registered the way men and women move/writhe/squirm/whatever when they’re being teased before. It wasn’t until that night, watching him writhe as I held the wand to him, that I realized there’s a big fucking difference. Suddenly, every girlfriend I’ve ever had, every girl I’ve ever played with flashed in my head. And yes, there are similarities in the way they moved. And yes, Sounder now moved like that.
He arched his back like a girl, he grinded his hips like a girl, he even started whimpering like a girl, the longer I went on. Over the months that I’ve played with him, I’ve gotten very familiar with his body. I could tell immediately that he was moving differently.
And hell no, I didn’t expect that. That’s not a physical change, like breast growth or rounder hips. That’s a mental, physiological thing. Nothing I’d read about the effects of the birth control mentioned anything about that.
It wasn’t subtle, either. At first, I thought for a minute that he was doing it on purpose, to please me. But the more I teased him, the more I realized that no, this was natural and completely unconscious. He wasn’t even aware of it.
The only thing I can think of is that the hormones are affecting his brain chemistry in some way. I mean, no one teaches a girl how to move like that. It just comes naturally, because she’s a girl. Maybe his mannerisms are becoming more feminine because of the increased levels of estrogen and decreased levels of testosterone.
Maybe? I don’t know, it shocked us both. But I freaking love it.
The other thing we found out is that he can no longer cum from penile stimulation. Like, at all.
I must’ve sat there, teasing him, for 45 minutes, probably longer. And the longer I did it, the more I loved it. I would switch between holding the wand against the head, to holding it down near the base, against his balls while stroking him (that got some amazing freaking reactions, like holy hell).
At one point, he half-gasped, half-whimpered, “God, it just won’t stop.” And that, with the whimpered “Fuck” thrown in here and there (and even those sounded more feminine), along with all the other sexy sounds he made, and the adorable way he writhed, definitely kept me entertained.
I varied the speed of the vibration, I varied the movement of my hands, to keep the intensity up, to keep him from getting used to anything. And it was amazing. He was unbelievably frustrated, horny, completely beyond overwhelmed. Hell, I half expected him to start crying if I kept it up long enough. And I certainly considered seeing if I could push him that far.
Especially once he said, “Hurt it. Please, just hurt it.” I laughed, and kept teasing him, doing whatever I could to keep the intensity up.
I considered it a win, though, when he said, “What do I have to do to make it stop?”
He’s never begged, he’s never asked me to stop anything, and it had been a goal of mine to get him to that point. Whether through pleasure, pain, or some combination of the two, I wanted to get him to that point.
And thanks to this awesome new side effect, I finally did.
So shortly after that, I turned off the wand and let him recover. He got dressed, and we went downstairs, sat on the couch, and watched TV. And he dozed off with my hand around his throat.
The next day, I told him he could masturbate. I’ve been on a “nice” kick recently, and decided to shock the hell out of him by telling him he could cum.
But I had more reasons than just that one. I wanted to see if he could. He couldn’t with me, but he knows his body better than I do, he knows what he likes, and he may have more luck doing it on his own.
After almost an hour of trying, he texted me to let me know it was an absolute failure. He simply cannot cum from penile stimulation alone.
Which means he’ll have to be milked. Which means he’ll only be able to cum from being fucked like a girl. He can no longer orgasm like a man.
Just another piece of his manhood shriveling away and dying…
And it hasn’t even been a month yet. This whole process is going so much faster than I expected it to, and I absolutely love it. I never thought in my wildest dreams that so much would happen so quickly. He has a history of odd reactions to medications, so there was a wonder about how his body would react to this, but it’s amazing.
Once the Aneros gets in, I’ll use that on him and milk him. The poor thing hasn’t had an orgasm in forever (his last one was written about on the blog, weeks and weeks and weeks ago). And the last two teasing sessions certainly didn’t help.
And I’m not completely heartless. I’ll let him get that release. He’s been a good sissy, and he’s obedient, and just as I want to punish bad behavior, I want to reward good behavior.
So he’ll definitely get that release soon.
In other news, Kazander approached me last night with an interesting question. He had a picture of a fucking machine up on his laptop, showed it to me, and said, “Is this the fucking machine you said you wanted?”
A fucking machine? When did I say I wanted a fucking machine?
Well, sure I want one. I also want a $4,000 BDSM bedframe, a bondage horse, a cage (or two), a suspension rig, and a big house to put it all in, where I could live with all my boys, with a private, soundproof dungeon in the basement, stocked with pretty much every BDSM-related toy on the internet. Sure.
I also want to win the lottery. I don’t expect it to actually happen.
Why don’t I expect it to happen? Because the one he showed me was $800. And the one I want is $2,000.
For those who are new to the blog, I don’t work. I raise my kid, and will be homeschooling her in the fall because Nevada is the absolute worst state in the country as far as public education, and she didn’t hit any of the acceptance lotteries for the charter schools in the area. So I won’t be getting a job anytime in the relative future. Not unless I can try again next year (I’m still not sure how it works for admission after kindergarten), or hope that they build a new one and get her on the list there.
And Kazander makes decent money. He makes enough that we live comfortably on his income alone. But he doesn’t make let’s-blow-two-grand-on-a-whim money. He doesn’t even make let’s-blow-eight-hundred-dollars-on-a-whim money. If he did, I would not have gone the last four months without visiting Steel.
I was also shocked because Kazander is, without a doubt, the most…. What’s a good word? We’ll go with frugal. He’s the most frugal person I’ve ever met in my entire life. He does not part easily with money.
And, while I will always give him shit about it, and while it has come back to bite us in the ass more than once, I have to respect his skill with money. That’s why he runs his family’s household. His parents and sister went bankrupt, and he took over. In something like 7 years, he took them from being so deep in debt, it was comical, to being completely debt-free, and homeowners. He also started a stock account thing that will eventually serve as his retirement fund, and even if he doesn’t put another cent into it, will double his money every eight years. And when the stock market crashed, and everyone freaked out and sold everything, he bought up everything he could.
He started with nothing – less than nothing, technically, considering the debt – and completely turned his entire family’s financial situation around to the point that they could buy a house. Granted, it was through the VA, since my father-in-law is a veteran, and that’ll be tricky once he dies — which the man constantly says is going to happen any day now– because my mother-in-law is not a veteran, and Kazander and I are not veterans, and the VA has been known to require full payment of the loan if another vet can’t take it over, or they’ll repossess the house.
He even tried going to a lawyer to see about leaving the house to Kazander, and letting him take over the loan, and the lawyer’s advice was literally — and I’m 100% serious, I was there for this meeting, and I can’t make this shit up — “Tell your family not to tell the VA when you’ve died. Hopefully they just won’t find out until the house is paid off.”
But for all his constant griping about how he’s going to die literally any second now (which was super awesome five years ago, the day before Kazander and I were going to tell his family I was pregnant, and that goddamn bastard left me alone with his father, who I’d only met a couple of times previous, who immediately started lamenting the fact that he’s going to die without ever having any grandchildren, and how that was his one big regret in life. And I had to sit through alllllll of that, because the man never stops talking, knowing that I was pregnant. I still haven’t let Kazander forget that. Fucking bastard), I’m pretty damn sure he’s going to outlive us all, so we should be good.
It’s funny about the stocks, though. Kazander got a life insurance policy and made me the beneficiary. And after he did, he said, “Alright, after taxes you’ll have about X amount of money. I know you’re going to spend Y amount on random life shit. Bills, fuck-around-money, stuff like that. So I want you to take Z amount and invest it, but only in such-and-such stocks, and something about dividends and interest, and a whole bunch of other shit I didn’t even remotely understand.”
I said, “That’s a lot of money, why don’t I just hire an accountant?”
He said, “No, you don’t want to hire an accountant. There’s no need to, and it’s a waste of money, and you run the risk of getting caught in a scam. Just do a whole bunch of technical stock lingo shit that I still didn’t understand.”
I said, “Okay, or here’s a new plan. How about you just not die.”
So I don’t complain too much about it. Unless I see a situation that will come back and bite us in the ass again.
But other than that, I don’t complain. I have to respect his ability. Hell, I couldn’t do that. I keep telling him he needs to get an accounting degree. He’s so amazing with numbers and money (I can literally ask him questions like, “What’s 27 multiplied by 16?” Or “If something is $238 with 20% off, how much is the full price?” And he’ll have an answer in less than five seconds. And it’ll be the right answer. It’s like some autistic prodigy-type shit. It’s insane). He could get an accounting degree in his sleep, and make at least as much as he’s making now, if not more, without having to work the insane hours in a non-climate-controlled environment.
I’m rambling again. Fucking machine. Right.
So I have no idea what bug has crawled up his ass, or what alien parasite has taken over my husband, that all of a sudden he’s looking at an $800 fucking machine, and seriously considering buying it for me. I mean, granted, we won’t be able to buy it soon, it’s something we’d have to plan for, but still, that floored me, when he asked about it. That’s not something I ever expected him to want to buy me.
And realistically, he may have considered the $800 one, but I just don’t want it. It’s not versatile, it’s heavy and huge and loud, and some people have said it’s not strong enough for anal. It’s not worth the money, and I don’t want it.
The $2,000 one is worth the money. It’s called the Shockspot, and I’ve seen it in action, and it’s fucking amazing.
It can fuck in any position, it weighs twenty pounds, it folds up into something just slightly larger than a briefcase, it’s completely programmable, and it’s quieter. We have a four-year-old, and no soundproof dungeon in the basement. We need something that we can fold up into a case and put away. And we need something that won’t be loud enough to wake her up in the middle of the night.
And I want something versatile enough that I can do whatever I want with it. I don’t want to be limited. Not when I’m spending that kind of money. What’s the point in spending eight hundred damn dollars on something I can’t use the way I want to?
If I’m going to spend that kind of money, I want it to be something I’ll use, something that’s top-of-the-line, something that I’m not limited by. I can’t get a fucking machine like that for $800. Not with all the features that the Shockspot has.
And if $800 is our budget, then I’d much rather get a violet wand kit. Kazander loves electrical play, and I love how sadistic it can be, so that’s the much better option for the price. A violet wand is more versatile, there are more options, and it’s something I’ve always been interested in. A fucking machine is goddamn fantastic, for a million and two reasons, and hell yes I want one, but when you really boil it down, it can only do one thing.
Don’t get me wrong, the Shockspot does that one thing damn well, and I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it. But for more than double the price of the one Kazander suggested, I seriously doubt that’s a realistic option.
So we’ll see. Maybe someone spiked his drink or something, and he was high off his ass when he suggested it. Maybe he’ll turn back into the Kazander I know, and rethink the whole idea.
We’ll have to wait and see what happens.