Just a tiny little pill…

It’s almost comically small.  Tiny, white, nondescript, completely innocuous.

So why has Sounder been freaking the fuck out about it for the last three days?

Because that tiny, harmless-looking pill is going to change his life forever.

As in permanently.

It’s never been a secret that I want to feminize him and turn him into a sissy.  And it’s never been a secret that I love a good mind fuck (I mean, we have met, right?).

So I had an appointment with my internist today, and I’d decided that I was going to get a prescription for birth control.

Ohhhh, but not for me.  I don’t need birth control.  I haven’t had sex in… God, I don’t even know how long.  2 years?  3?  I don’t plan on breaking that streak anytime soon.  I’ve always found PIV sex to be boring.

But you want to know what’s not boring?  Turning Sounder into a full-on, permanent sissy whore.

And really, it started off as a passing comment, made almost half-jokingly.  But it triggered a reaction, and created an opportunity that I just had to take advantage of.

had to.  It was a moral imperative.

So all week, I’ve been fucking with his head, making absolute-damn-sure to drive home the fact that he will never be the same again.  After he takes the pill, after the hormones start taking effect, his body will forever be feminized.  Sure, some of the effects might go away if he were to stop taking them, and the progestin stops interfering with his testosterone.

But most effects, like the womanly hips and the boobs, will be there to stay.  From what I read, the effects on the penis and testicles will be mostly-permanent, too.

So some of the possible side effects:

The growth of breast tissue (the biggest reason for putting him on birth control in the first place).

The change in the distribution of fat cells, giving him those soft curves, that feminine figure.  Some men with very few fat cells to begin with will gain a bit of weight as their bodies create those curves.  He has very few fat cells (which makes putting a zipper on him impossible, ugh) so he’ll likely be in that group.

Changes in skin and hair growth.  Body hair will get thinner, finer.  Facial hair will also get thinner.  But the hair on his head may actually start growing more, and getting longer.

Changes in voice.  Some men’s voices get higher.  Sounder is a deep baritone (for now), so it’s likely that it’ll get higher.

Decrease in the size of penis/testicles.  Depending on the interaction between the progestin and testosterone, erectile dysfunction is a possibility, as well.  I have no use for Sounder’s cock, so I don’t need it to function.  It’s eventually going to be stuffed in a chastity cage, anyway.  And when that happens, he’ll be grateful for the erectile dysfunction, because he won’t have to deal with the pain of trying to get hard in the cage (see?  I’m thinking of his comfort here).

And hey, there’s a decreased risk of testicular cancer, prostate cancer, and prostate enlargement.  So it’s super beneficial, right?  It’s all medical and science-y and shit.

So yeah, the last few days have been spent constantly fucking with Sounder’s head.  Pointing out that, once he has tits, he’ll never be able to have normal sex with a vanilla woman again.  Even if his dick still worked, how would he explain the tits?

Although I imagine it would be a lot of fun to bend him over, fuck him doggy-style, and reach around to grope them.  Or having him ride my strap-on, his tits bouncing as he impales himself on my cock.  And I bet a lot of men would agree with me.  Have you seen how popular that fetish is?

So his sex life wouldn’t disappear altogether.

Ooooh!  And I’m so looking forward to taking him to get fitted and buy his first bra.  Because of course I’m not going to let him buy that online.  A girl’s first bra is a significant experience.  And besides, something like 85% of women are wearing the wrong size bra.  He needs to be professionally fitted.

We’re going to gloss over the fact that I know how to measure that and could do so in the privacy of his house.

Because good fucking gawd, why would I do that?  When taking him to Victoria’s Secret, getting him fitted, shopping for bras, and having him try them on in the dressing room is an available option?

Seriously, it’s like people don’t know me at all….

I did find some nice push-up bras to accentuate his cleavage.  I’ll have to wax his chest hair, though.  Hairy cleavage isn’t sexy.  But that’s something I’m more than happy to do myself, in the privacy of his house.  *Evil grin*

And of course, he’ll need to get mammograms.  Because more breast tissue equals a higher risk for breast cancer, and he just turned 40 (and if you remember Pinktober, all women and sissies 40 and older need mammograms) and really I would just love to take him to that appointment.  I’d give up my left tit to watch all that go down.

Luckily, I have an obedient little sissy, and won’t have to give up anything.  I’ll just go with him.

And I love the idea of going to a spa with him, but all the ones I know of are not co-ed, and trying to pass him off as a woman would’ve been difficult.  But with a more feminine voice, a more feminine body, and breasts, it shouldn’t be too difficult.

At least I’m being nice and letting him dress as a man the first time I take him to the salon.  He’s never gotten a pedicure or manicure before, and it’s not uncommon at all for people to get couple’s mani-pedis, so no one would think twice about it.

Unless I decided to say something about it, of course…..

But he’s already nervous about going in the first place, because for some reason he thinks it’s “weird” or whatever for a man to go to a salon.  And when I take him to get his wig professionally styled, that’ll be nerve-racking in itself.  So I’ll shock the ever-living fuck out of him and won’t fuck with him the first time I take him.

No, like genuinely.  I’ll be nice, I swear (Stop that.  I can practically see you raising your eyebrows and doing that nod-and-smile thing you do).

The second time I take him will be a completely different story.  And that’ll be an adventure.

But really, it’ll be awesome.  And tomorrow, when he goes to work, he’ll get to sit in all those important meetings with all those important people, knowing that the tiny white little pill is coursing through his system, silently killing his manhood.

Seriously, that’s so many kinds of fucking awesome.  Like, multiple levels of awesome.

And another bright side is that he’ll look even more sexy in all his women’s clothes.  Which he definitely needs more of.  Yay, shopping!

Eventually, the vast majority of the clothes he owns will be women’s clothes.  Sure, he’ll have the suits for work, and all that, but most of what he’ll wear will be women’s.

Because really, how big of a difference is there between a woman’s T-shirt and a men’s?  Jeans?  Pants, slacks?

Not that much.  I’ll probably allow him to have a few pairs of men’s shorts, though, because it gets to be 120 degrees here in the summer, and there is a big difference between men’s shorts and women’s shorts.  So when he goes out dressed as a man, he’ll have a couple of pairs.

Oooooh, it’s going to be swimsuit season soon!  I need to take him shopping for a bathing suit!  He’s got an amazing body, so you know I’m going to want him in a little bikini.  I mean, there’s just no question.  I wonder if his complex has a pool….

So he’ll have a couple of pairs of men’s shorts, some random men’s things here and there, for when family or friends are in town and stay with him, and his work clothes, but the vast majority of clothing he owns will be women’s.  All of his lounge-around-the-house clothing will be women’s.  Yoga pants, or cute bootie shorts, with tight little tank tops, or loose, flowy nightgowns.  Lots of options.

Eventually he’s going to live 24/7 as a sissy.  And taking that tiny little pill makes that goal all the more real.

So that’s the extraordinarily abridged version of what’s been going through his head the last few days.  And I made damn sure that it was never far from his mind for long.

I went to the doctor and got a prescription for a 2-month supply.  That’s all he would give me, and he was reluctant to do even that, since I haven’t been to my gynecologist in forever (because it’s a pain in the ass with a 4-year-old, and it’s a pain in the ass without a 4-year-old, and I just don’t wanna go.  Oh, but I will definitely put up with the pain in the ass for a year-long prescription of tiny little pills).

That’s the awesome thing about an internist, though, and the reason I use an internist as my primary-care physician.  There’s literally nothing he can’t prescribe if you’re really persuasive.  Antidepressants, birth control, Adderall (you know, speed, but legal, if you have ADD….. or are really persuasive), you name it, I can get my hands on it.

Yay, drugs!

But it works, because it’ll give us two months to try out the low-dose pills I got, and see how we (we meaning I) like them.  If necessary, I’ll get something different when I go see my gyno in May.

So I got the prescription and asked Sounder what pharmacy he uses.  I wanted it to be one by his house, because he’ll be the one to pick up the refills (because I just love the idea of him going to pick them up.  It’s unfortunate that I can’t put them in his name.  Or the sissy name I’ve given him.  That makes me sad.  But don’t worry, thinking about him having to pack them on his carry-on when he travels for work this week makes me happy again).

He was hoping and praying for something to go wrong.  Either I wouldn’t be able to get the prescription (it made me smile and go, “aww,” when he hoped that I wouldn’t be able to talk someone into giving me something I want… I never claimed to not be manipulative, y’all), or the pharmacy wouldn’t have them in stock, or the pharmacy would burn down (which is my line).

But everything went smoothly, and I showed up at his door with the pills in hand.

And they really do look so small and innocent.  It’s amazing to think about the drastic effect such a small, tiny little thing can have.

I could tell he was freaking out, really not wanting to do it.

But when I told him to strip down to his panties, his dick was hard.  So at least some part of him wanted it.

I was nice, though.  I didn’t hold it over him for that long.  I gave him the pill, and he took it, and just like that, he said goodbye to being able to call himself a man.

So I’m excited about it.  Every aspect of it is awesome, and hot as fuck.  And really, he’s such a sexy sissy.  It wouldn’t surprise me if the pharmacy starts assuming he’s Jennifer when he goes to pick up the refills.

Oh my gawd, how awesome would that be?  He’d go up to the counter, to the little pharmacy tech, and say, “I’m picking up for Jennifer ——.”

And the sweet little tech could say, “Sure, Ms. ——-.  I’ll get that for you right away.”

I seriously just squealed like a ten-year-old girl.  That would be beyond epic.  Like, epically beyond epic.

But as much as it’s fucking with his head now, eventually picking them up will become a regular errand, just another part of his routine.  Just like taking the pills will become just another part of his routine.

Some people take vitamins.  Sounder takes estrogen.

Because he’s a sissy.

23 thoughts on “Just a tiny little pill…

  1. Candi June says:

    I can’t wait to get on hrt as we trans folks call it. Your post has me jealous, as I wait for the therapist to give me the letter I need to get them.

    • Domina Jen says:

      Yeah I had an ex go through all of that while we were dating. They really made her jump through a lot of ridiculous hoops. Unfortunately I was sexually active back then and couldn’t get a second prescription for her (I didn’t know my way around the medical field back then). But the effects of birth control will be significantly less than the effects of hrt. The doses in the pills are just too low.

  2. Mic says:

    Sounds interesting yet quite strange to me ;-). But I guess you know best what’s to do to Sounder. As always.

    But some part of me is very glad to be sure, that you are literally a million miles away when it reads texts like this! *g

    • Domina Jen says:

      Lol! I have no doubt you are glad. I wonder if Sounder wishes he were a million miles away, too. But he’s stuck here, and he’ll just have to learn to accept being feminized.

  3. thechastecyclist says:

    Hey, MrsL took me for my first pedicure a couple of weeks back. That turned out to be the prelude for a great weekend!! I was the only guy in the place but really didn’t care once my feet were soaking in the hot soothing water.

    I look forward to reading about Sounder’s journey.

    • It’s not so bad! I once saw a man getting his toenails painted (not a clear coat, an actual color) and getting the design put on them as well!

      Even guys should get pampered!

    • Domina Jen says:

      The salon I go to always has a bunch of men there. Although it’s the same salon that my inlaws go to, so we’ll be using a different one. And yeah, it’s really not a big deal. Guys get pedicures all the time. Even Kazander, who is basically the opposite of the “pedicure type,” went and got pampered before our wedding, at a place called American Male, a men-only salon, and was surprised at how much he ended up liking it.

      Of course, Sounder won’t be going to American Male…

    • Domina Jen says:

      Exactly! Lots of guys get it done. It’s completely normal, and no one bats an eye or thinks twice about a man getting a manicure or pedicure.

      And he’ll yeah, it’s hard to care about things like that once they start. It feels amazing.

  4. Are you sure he is gonna take them while he is out of town?

    • Domina Jen says:

      He’s very obedient, I have no doubt he’ll do as he’s told.

      If you’re asking if I can enforce it, the answer is no, I can’t. I can’t even enforce it when he’s in town. We don’t live together, and I’m not waking my lazy ass up at 5 in the morning to go over there and put it down his throat myself.

      I choose to trust that he’ll obey me, because where’s the fun in not obeying? I mean, what’s the point of serving a Domme longterm if you’re not going to do what she tells you?

      If that’s the case, and you just want the fantasy, go to a ProDomme. Or get an online Domme. Or we live in Vegas, with thousands of tourists coming and going every day. He can find one in town visiting.

      Instead, he chose to serve me. So for the sake of saving time, I’m just going to assume he’ll obey me. I’m not going to hover over him every morning to make sure he takes it, just like I’m not going to show up at his work every day to make sure he’s wearing panties. Unless he gives me a reason not to, I’m going to assume he does what he’s told.

      Is it possible that he won’t take them? Sure, I suppose. But I seriously doubt it.

      • I know, I know. My ‘issue’ is if it will mess with his livelihood (ie work). I know a few fields where it wouldn’t be looked on very kindly.

        I am not saying that you shouldn’t do it because a) you know the whole situation snd I only have what you choose to share here, and b) you have more experience than I do. Just my $0.02.

  5. possiblylost says:

    Well as a relatively recent reader of your blog, this is somewhere between completely hot and terrifying (in knowing where those dark places lead for myself). Thanks for the blog, your writings have made me think about my own submission and how to *be*.

    • Domina Jen says:

      Thank you, and welcome! I certainly love that place between unbelievably hot and unimaginably terrifying. It’s the best place to be. I’m flattered that my writing has helped you!

  6. This sounds incredibly hot, and like a true mind fuck. And it sounds like Sounder really is right there with you. And for all the reasons you mentioned in your last reply, you can totally figure he’s with the program.

    But then you had to go and write something like

    “But when I told him to strip down to his panties, his dick was hard.  So at least some part of him wanted it.”

    I just spent 45 minutes schooling a bunch of 7th and 8th graders on the fact that YOUR BODY CAN NOT GIVE CONSENT, ONLY YOUR BRAIN CAN DO THAT. And even if she’s wet or he’s hard, “no” means “no.” Now, I know you know that, and I know that this is all in the context of a relationship. And *I* noticed that you said “some part of him…” But some clueless wanker is going to read that and feel all justified that it wasn’t assault because she got wet or he got hard.

    So I guess all I’m asking is to please remember that the clueless will read along with the clueful. (I feel like a killjoy leaving this comment andI’m not happy about that but I am feeling all responsible, so I guess I have to….)

  7. I meant to comment when I first saw this post. But I just skimmed it. Now having time to fully reread it. It boggles my mind in a good way. It was something I not even thought about given all I have researched. I say as long as he is consenting more power to you both. I have met many who would like to be in his place.

  8. stan says:

    Why does he want this done? Does he want to be a woman?
    respectfully stan

  9. Adam says:

    I have been BEGGING my girlfriend to give me birth control to kill my sex drive and stop my ability to get aroused. She doesn’t want it, but won’t chemically castrate me either. You just sound amazing

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