I’m not a jealous person. It’s not my nature. That, and it kind of runs counterproductive to the whole polyamory thing.
In fact, jealousy does more than turn me off. It pisses me off, and nothing short of a long list of recent sexual assaults can turn me off to someone quicker than finding out they’re jealous or way too possessive. I’ve dealt with a jealous spouse before. I’ll never get into a relationship like that again.
And I don’t understand people who are okay with it. One of Kazander’s friends has a girlfriend who gets jealous if he comments on one of my Facebook pictures.
Are you serious?
Because somehow, just because I’m female, I must be trying to steal her boyfriend. And just ewww. Because while he may be hot, he’s homophobic, he has no sense of humor, and I’m 84% sure he’s on steroids.
Girl, he’s all yours. Trust me on that.
So jealousy isn’t my thing.
I’m human. I’m not perfect, and I’m not immune to those occasional (short-lived) spikes of jealousy.
And there’s nothing wrong with those little spikes. As Steel said, “Who wants to be owned but not valued?”
As long as they stay those occasional little spikes, and don’t turn into full-on jealousy, it’s fine. Even flattering.
I’ve felt them before. And it’s expected, really. My boys are awesome. Of course other people notice. Of course other people entertain fantasies about them.
The first time I felt that stab of jealousy with one of my boys was when I found out that Kazander’s boss has a crush on him. Although again, it didn’t last long. And her feelings for him actually worked out to our advantage in a huge way.
Hell, I even felt it when Chevy mentioned that he had a crush on Kazander (particularly when he wears those loose gym shorts during the summer… For all the crap I give Kazander with small-penis humiliation, he’s not small. Chevy noticed). And I’ve actively worked to make that happen. Because it’s hot.
I haven’t experienced it with Sounder yet, but I’m sure I will. He’s fucking hot, he’s smart as hell, and he’s got a fantastically sarcastic, dry sense of humor (his humor is a big part of what initially got my attention in the first place). I have no doubt that at least one woman he interacts with on a regular basis fantasizes about him. Although, the things the average vanilla woman may fantasize about doing with him are…. very different than the things I do with him.
Like how I fucked him with a big dildo and tied his hands above his head and clipped like a hundred (I may be exaggerating slightly) clothespins on his dick and balls last night. I’m pretty sure the average vanilla woman’s mind doesn’t go there when she imagines him without his clothes on.
Just recently, I felt it with Steel.
And again, it was expected. I’m actually surprised that it took this long to happen. I’ve been with Steel damn near a year, now.
And he’s sexy, he’s got the most expressive eyes I’ve ever seen, he’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, and he’s funny as hell.
He also looks damn good sprawled across me while I finger him, or up on all fours while I spank him and fuck him, or curled up in my lap while I absently play with his collar and watch TV.
Or straddling me, his arms wrapped around me, clinging to me, his face buried against my neck, gasping and whimpering while I tease and hurt him, shoving my precum-soaked fingers into his mouth when the constant stream of slutty begging goes from being adorable to being annoying, pinning him down and grinning as he whines while I milk him…
What was I talking about?
So it’s not surprising that another Domme took notice. And it’s not surprising that she has repeatedly expressed her attraction to him, despite knowing that he’s owned and collared.
Of course she’s attracted to him. Who wouldn’t be?
Of course she imagines using him. He’s an insatiable, greedy bitch with a goddamn sexy mind.
Of course she sees in him everything that made me fall for him in the first place. This doesn’t come as a surprise. I’d be surprised if she’s the only one.
And no, it doesn’t make me jealous. Because at the end of the day, he’s loyal, he’s faithful, he loves me, and he’s mine.