I actually got five straight hours of sleep on Thursday morning after writing the last post, which is a huge improvement over the previous three. I’m still feeling a bit raw, but life goes on, and I’ve never been one to dwell. Just turn that shit off and move on.
And when I woke up, I saw both a text message and a Facebook message from Pet, telling me he had a question for me.
I texted him back, asking what the question was, but I knew he was in school (you know, high school), so didn’t expect a quick reply.
When he did reply, he asked, “Would you be my sponsor?”
And I was confused. Immediately my mind went to Sadie and Mal’s play parties. The group is a closed group, and new people can only become members by being sponsored by one of the “leader” figures.
But Pet had already been to their house four times. More than that, Sadie told me she was protecting him. So why would he need a sponsor?
It had to be for something else. I asked, “In what sense?”
It was in fact for the play parties.
Why? And wasn’t Sadie his sponsor?
Apparently she’d told him that he needed a sponsor to continue coming to the meetings. I was still so confused, but I told him I’d be his sponsor, but to talk to Sadie first, to make sure she was okay with me sponsoring him.
He told me he already had. And I trusted him, but I decided to text her myself, just to be sure. I’d rather be paranoid than accidentally step on her toes. I don’t know their relationship.
She assured me that it was fine, that he wasn’t hers, and that I was welcome to him.
So I’m protecting a high school kid now, apparently. Oh, and a gay high school kid, I don’t think I shared that detail yet. He describes himself as homosexual, but panromantic. I owned a boy like that once upon a time (although we didn’t know words like panromantic ten years ago, so trying to explain our relationship to others got complicated), so that’s something I can completely understand.
But I was still confused. Why wasn’t Sadie protecting him anymore? Why wasn’t she his sponsor? And why did he still need a sponsor?
Then I saw a message she’d shared with all the members of the group, reminding everyone of the rules, and stating that the group has enjoyed a rather significant influx of new members, and that they were going to freeze membership for awhile.
And it made sense. Each sponsor is only allowed to sponsor three people at any given time. She likely already had her three. And she wasn’t going to break her own rule. It’s also very likely that he never had an official sponsor. So with her needing to crack down on the rules, it made perfect sense that he’d need to be officially sponsored.
That, and his age and inexperience pose a potential problem. He’s no idiot, and seems quite capable of taking care of himself. But it is her house, and should something go wrong, she’s the one that would be held responsible. Someone needs to keep an eye out for him, to take responsibility for him, and to keep him safe.
He may not necessarily need that, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. If it was my house, I’d make the exact same decision. And if I couldn’t protect him personally, I’d make sure someone I trusted could, or I wouldn’t let him come back.
He’s not unintelligent, and seems extremely mature for his age, and has already impressed me more than once, but there’s no escaping the fact that he’s only 18. He lacks the life experience of a 40-year-old, a 30-year-old, or even a 25-year-old. If I was Sadie, I’d be paranoid about keeping him safe, too. He’d probably be annoyed by that (I know I would be, in his position at 18), but he can just be annoyed. I’ll ask him again in ten years and see if it still annoys him.
So I’m protecting a gay teenage switch. Alrighty, then.
He’s not mine, I don’t know if I could even call him a play partner. We’ve only played once, and that was Sadie’s scene, not mine. I don’t know if that will change at any point. But I’m not looking for another long-term sub (and he’s leaving for college after he graduates, anyway), so right now, he’s just a friend, a sweet little thing who has dealt with a lot in his short years.
He needs someone steady, and dependable, and supportive, with the wisdom and life experience to know what to say, and when to keep quiet when he needs someone to hear him. I can definitely be that for him while he’s here. And cuddling with him feels pretty awesome.
He’s also interested in exploring his Dom side a bit more. At the play party last night, we were watching Mal teach a woman how to flog, and he mentioned that he hasn’t had much opportunity to learn. And I’d be happy to teach him.
The problem is that my boys wouldn’t be great guinea pigs for a lot of it. Kazander isn’t a masochist, so wouldn’t have a lot of patience for flogging/paddling/whipping/caning/whatever.
And Sounder may be a better guinea pig for things like that, but with his current health concerns, I’d be awfully nervous about accidentally hurting him. There’s a lot I’d be able to use him for, but I’m very protective of my boys to begin with, and combining an inexperienced Dom with an injured sub requires a pretty high level of caution.
So for much of it, Pet would have to find his own guinea pig… which, I understand, could be difficult for an 18-year-old high school student.
He mentioned asking Sadie if he could use her sub, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable teaching him on someone else’s submissive. If there’s something he wants to learn that he would need Sadie’s sub for, I’d rather her be the one to teach him, if that’s something she wants to do. But some things, I’m sure I could use either Kazander or Sounder for.
Brings back memories, though. When I was his age, I had a mentor who was much older (granted, the age difference was closer to 25, rather than 12). And now I’m an adult, mentoring a teenager.
Full circle and all.
Oh, and speaking of Kazander, he came to the play party with me last night. He’d only ever been to one before, but it had been months ago, and since Sadie is freezing membership, we wanted to make sure he’d be allowed back.
And Mal was kind enough to let me do fire play again, and let me try out his brand new Kevlar wand, which was awesome. Pet was quick to volunteer to let me set him on fire again. It gave me an opportunity to hurt him, which, I mean come on, I’m not going to let that opportunity pass me by. I couldn’t convince him to let me burn off his chest hair, though, dang it.
Then I looked to Kazander, waved the flaming wand a bit, and said, “Wanna try?”
He’d already seen Mal teach Di how to set her girlfriend on fire, and he’d seen me set Pet on fire, so he shrugged and said, “Okay.”
He took his clothes off and hopped up on the table. Mal was needed back inside, so a longtime Domme friend, Bit (who taught Mal fireplay, incidentally) stepped up to supervise. It was only my second time, and while I didn’t need any help, they wanted to make sure I didn’t make any mistakes.
Both Kazander and I love Bit to death. She’s a tiny little thing, maybe about 4’10”, or somewhere around there. She’s in her 50s, and has been doing this since before I was born. She’s played with Kazander before, and she came to my baby and bridal shower, and I just love having her around.
So Kazander was relieved that she was the one supervising, rather than Mal, simply because he’s known her longer, and, of course, she’s female.
I will never understand what it is with straight guys and being so weird about stuff like that. You hardly ever meet a straight woman who has that hang-up. I don’t give two shits if a straight chick touches my ass (especially if it’s on fire, and she’s touching it to put it out). But Kazander was weirded out by the idea.
But in the end, Mal wouldn’t have had to touch him, anyway. Bit didn’t touch him at all. She simply stood back and watched, occasionally giving me pointers or tips.
And Kazander didn’t mind it at all. He said it felt good, and even when it did start to hurt a bit, it didn’t hurt nearly as much as wax play.
And I want that Kevlar wand! That thing is soooo awesome! And the flames burn higher than the cotton wands, so it just looks cooler.
But it’s expensive. It’s $45, plus freaking $60 to ship it, since it’s coming from Hawaii. So it’s definitely going on my gonna-buy-one-day list. In the meantime, I can still use the cotton wands.
Next I want to learn fire cupping. And isn’t it convenient that I know an awesome Domme with tons of experience with it, who could teach me?
I definitely need to give Bit a call.