Slightly incompetent, well-meaning, totally over-helpful night nurse: Oh my goodness, you should be asleep!
Me: but you’re about to give me a breathing treatment.
SIWMTOHNN: But you should’ve been asleep an hour ago.
Me: you gave me all the meds an hour ago.
SIWMTOHNN: Well make sure you get some sleep after this.
Me: Aren’t you drawing blood in an hour?
SIWMTOHNN: …. oh, yeah…..
I swear, the amount of time I spend resisting the urge to roll my eyes should earn me an award.