What qualities do you look for in a partner?
Well, it goes without saying that any partner I enter into a relationship with has to be a submissive or slave. I may accept a switch, depending on the situation and the person in question. But no, I will never consider a real, long-term, romantic relationship with anyone who isn’t a sub or slave. And I also need a boy who wants to be submissive more than “just in the bedroom.” It’s not something I do when I’m horny. It’s something I want 24/7. And any boy who enters into a relationship with me needs to be comfortable with that.
Now, hold on a minute. That doesn’t mean that I expect my boys to crawl on all fours and kiss my feet at the mall, or that our dynamic has to be “obvious” when out in public. I’m not going to “out” my boys to their friends, families, or coworkers. The muggles won’t suspect a thing. Other D/s people likely will, but vanilla people won’t.
Along with a strong desire to submit, I need a sense of humor. Anyone with a mastery of laconic wit immediately has a leg up on the competition. But dry, understated, sarcastic humor is awesome. I adore it.
Kinks can be negotiated, but it definitely helps to have a bunch in common. And, for that matter, the same could be said for vanilla hobbies and interests. I don’t want a kinky booty call, I want a complete relationship. That means that we will spend time together doing vanilla things. I want someone I can get along with, a good conversationalist, an engaging personality, someone that I genuinely enjoy spending time with, regardless of the setting.
Intelligence is important, as well. I want someone I can talk to about anything, debate politics/religion, astronomy and cosmology, anthropology and archaeology, or whatever we may share an interest in. I want to be able to have deep conversations with someone who is at my level of intellect (or higher).
I need someone who has a strong sense of self-worth. I value my boys and expect them to value themselves. I want them to be confident in who they are, to have the strength to approach me with concerns, worries, needs, etc. I’ve had quite a few boys through the years who wouldn’t tell me anything was wrong, because they were too afraid of confrontation, too afraid that I’d be angry for whatever reason, too afraid that I’d punish them for speaking out of turn.
It’s exhausting, knowing your sub well enough to know that something is wrong, but pulling teeth to get any kind of response out of them.
Fuck that noise. Know your worth. Respect yourself. Show me that you’re worthy of my respect. Because I refuse to own anyone I can’t respect as my partner, my submissive, and as a man.