30 Days of Kink: Day 17

What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?


How much time do you have?

Really, the biggest one has to do with the concept of Dominance and submission in relation to masculinity and femininity.  It’s my biggest pet peeve (and one of the easiest and quickest ways to piss me off) when people think that the two have anything remotely to do with each other.

Dominance is not a “masculine” trait, and submission is not a “feminine” trait.

They’re just not.




Whatever argument anyone may have to the contrary is a stupid, misguided, ignorant one, and their ideas of gender and sexuality are obviously stuck in the Medieval era.  I see those people as unevolved, uneducated, narrow-minded, worthless wastes of mass and oxygen.

They’re the same type of people who think that all gay men must be feminine, and that all lesbians must be butch, all MtF trans must be sexually attracted to men, that rape victims who dress “slutty” are “asking for it,” and all those other misguided, prehistoric, close-minded, willfully ignorant notions that we as a culture continue to entertain because we’re too lazy to educate ourselves and broaden our view.

Being a Dominant does not make me “less of a woman,” and being submissive does not make any man “less of a man.”

Furthermore, being submissive does not make someone “weak,” by any definition of the word.  Anyone who’d like to argue that point is welcome to spend an evening in a locked room with my boys.

Tell me how that works out for you.

Dominance and submission have nothing to do with gender, gender identity, masculinity and femininity, or sexuality.  Completely separate things.  That misconception has no place in anyone’s mind.

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