What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
For me, it’s keeping it hidden. I hate having to keep it a secret, and throughout most of my life, I’ve been relatively open about it. I never ever tried to hide who I was. Sure, I’ve had people raise eyebrows and ask questions, and I’ve had people who weren’t interested in learning anything about it, and it’s just something we don’t talk about (like how it is with my best friend), and I’ve even had those who claimed I was going to hell, and I was immoral or whatever, and would run from me, screaming into the night.
I didn’t care.
But now, with the situation we’re in with the kid and all of that, and with living so close to his family, I have to hide it. And I hate that. It feels odd having to censor myself, and even after five years, it still bugs me.
And I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I advertise it or anything. I’ve never advertised it. I don’t think anyone I associated with professionally ever knew. It just never came up. But while I didn’t shout it from the rooftops, I never made an effort to hide it, either.
And I completely understand that many sub men would prefer no one know about it. The vast majority of the boys I’ve owned and played with have been very, very secretive about it. So I get it. And I’m not going to out anyone who doesn’t want to be outed.
I also understand that there are still some pretty primitive notions regarding male submission floating around out there, and for a lot of men, it could cause legitimate personal and professional issues if that kind of knowledge came out. It’s not something that I love, but it’s something I absolutely understand, and will absolutely hide it to protect the boys I play with. I’ve gone to many work parties, family dinners, I’ve been introduced to parents, bosses, employees, associates, business partners, siblings, children, all of that. And even if outright asked, I will deny it to protect the boy who serves me.
But that’s always been the hardest part about kink and BDSM being such a big part of my sexuality, and my personality.