30 Days of Kink: Day 10

What are you hard limits?

First I want to point out that there’s a difference between a hard limit and things I’m just not into.  Granted, it’s hard for me to think of a situation where I’d do something I’d rather not do, but still, there’s a difference.  There are plenty of things I’m not into, or would rather not do, but they’re not necessarily hard limits.  Hard limits are things I absolutely will not do.  My hard limits are:

  • Anything involving children
    • I really hope this goes without saying.
  • Animals
    • Again, without saying
  • Excessive/obvious public play
    • Don’t get me wrong… I love putting a vibe or plug in a boy, or tormenting him under the table at a restaurant, or something subtle like that.  But I’m not bending you over and spanking you at Denny’s, and I’m not leading you around by a leash at the mall.
  • Permanent, irrevocable damage or removal of body parts
    • I’m not taking a boy’s vocal chords, having his thumbs removed, or castrating him.  And yeah, I’ve been asked to do all three of those.  Fuck that noise.  Tattoos and piercings, on the other hand, are just fine.  And actual branding (I know a lot of D/s people call ownership tattoos “brands,” but I’m talking about branding, like what they do to cows), I will consider, depending on the situation, severity, and a whole shit-load of other variables.
  • Anything blatantly illegal.
    • Yes, I know that BDSM is illegal in a lot of places, including where I live.  But I’m not robbing a fucking bank.  Oh, and this includes blackmail.
  • Playing while I’m altered.
    • There have been times I’ve had trouble keeping control of my Domspace and my sadism during a session while sober.  I’m not going to attempt that while altered (and I’m talking being drunk or high, not like 2 glasses of wine or anything like that.  I know when I’m in control and when I’m not).  I won’t play if I’m not in control.  It’s too fine a line, and if I cross it, whoever I’m playing with is going to get hurt.
  • Racial humiliation
    • This is the only type of humiliation I’m not into.  I’ve been asked to do it in the past, and I’ve tried it, and I hate it.  I’m not calling you any racial slurs or humiliating you for your race or ethnicity.  Or religion, now that I think about it.  Any other reason is fine.
  • Playing with a male Dom
    • No.  Just no.  A hundred thousand bajillion times no.  I won’t scene with a male Dom.  Another Domme, sure, and I’ve done it before.  I’ve Dommed kazander with another Domme.  But my personal experience (in person, as well as online) with male Doms over the years has not endeared me to the species as a whole.  I don’t want to have to worry about whether or not he’s going to try and cross a line with me in the middle of a scene, when I’ve got a million other things I’m doing and thinking and worrying about.  I’m sure there are respectable, trustworthy male Doms out there.  I’m 100% sure.  But in 13 years, I’ve only ever met one, and he’s dead now.  But wanna know how many douchebag, asshole, boundary-crossing, disrespectful, obnoxious, condescending, arrogant Doms I’ve met?  How much time do you have?
  • Lying to/deceiving/manipulating a sub
    • I’ve heard some really gruesome horror stories about things being done to unsuspecting subs once they’re tied down.  And once, years and years ago, I met a Domme who said she thought it would be a “fun idea” to tie a boy over one of those sawhorse things, then bring in her boyfriend to fuck him.  Jesusfuckingchrist, no.  And while I’m on the subject….
  • Anything truly abusive or that will cause harm.
    • Don’t get me wrong.  I will cheerfully beat, degrade, humiliate, and abuse a boy any time of the day or night.  But at the end of it, the boy knows he’s cared about, knows he’s safe, and knows that I won’t hurt him.  There is a difference between D/s “abuse” and actual fucking abuse.  I will not ever verbally, mentally, emotionally, or physically abuse a sub.  I’ve seen what that can do to a boy.  I’ve seen the damage that can cause.

So those are my hard limits.

8 thoughts on “30 Days of Kink: Day 10

  1. subhubphx says:

    Another example of what makes you a super-cool chick, Er, um, uh, er … a Special Mistress. Thank you!

  2. Mic says:

    Very responsible, very clear and very well said (and done)!

  3. I found your blog while reading subhub in phoenix. I love this post. I will definitely enjoy reading through your archives and following you going forward.

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