God fucking damn it.
Zane was supposed to come over tonight. We’d gotten it all arranged. And I told him that I wanted him to suck kazander’s dick (which he had known I wanted for weeks, and was completely fine with).
Then, this morning, I got a text saying that he wanted to cancel, because he “really needs to think about whether he’s comfortable with the whole poly thing.”
Translation: I need to find someone else.
Twice, now. Twice. And he was the one I thought I was the safest with, since he’s bi!
I told kazander, and he laughed and said, “I knew he would.”
I said, “What? How did you know?”
“He was totally fine coming over to play with you, and he was totally fine going out on dates with you, but the minute he needs to blow another dude, he decides he can’t do it.”
“But he’s bi! He’s blown other guys before.”
“So he says. Have you seen him do it? Have you seen a picture of him doing it?”
From now on, any boy I have come play will blow kazander during the first session. No exceptions.
I was really excited about him, man. And I’ll tell you, this feeling fucking sucks. Especially since I completely let my guard down, assuming that he was telling the truth when he said he was bi, and that he was “looking forward to” sucking kazander’s dick.
It’s the nerd all over again.
That’s why I haven’t spoken much to the virgin, because I’m so afraid that the same thing is going to happen again. But to be honest, he was the one that was the most honest about his reservations, and he’s the only one who actually did something with kazander, even though it squicked him out.
So yeah. If they can’t blow him on the first night, I’m not interested. I’m not putting myself through this again.
But on the bright side, we’re going out tonight, and I look fucking stunning. So I’m going to drown my sorrows in alcohol and have a good time.
kazander isn’t a huge fan of the dress, because it’s got anchors on it, and he says “plus size women shouldn’t wear shit with anchors on them.”
But fuck that. Nautical theme is in right now. So is monochromatic red. And let’s be honest, I look fucking amazing!