Our Contract

Finally ironed out all the kinks (hehe), and it’s ready for a 1-month trial run.  Yay!

You’ll have to forgive the lack of pretty formatting, and just imagine that it looks gorgeous, with borders, and thick matte paper, and pretty Gothic fonts.  It looks super official, yo.

It’s a contract template I’ve had for a million bajillion years, so we tweaked some of the wording to make it applicable, and moved some stuff around, and all that.  I’m pretty happy with the result, and I think kazander is, too.

Mistress/submissive Contract

Entered into between

Jen (Mistress) and “kazander”(submissive)

on July 16, 2015

This Contract

is entered into voluntarily by Mistress and submissive. The parties trust each other and care about one another and have agreed to enter into a power exchange relationship on the terms and conditions set out below:


  • This contract will be in effect for one month commencing on the date of signing (as indicated by the Commencement Date on the cover).


  • Mistress and submissive shall conduct themselves in light of their goals at all times. The goals of the parties are detailed in Schedule 1.

Additional Rules

  • Any term, rule, requirement, or condition which is not provided for in the standard terms of this Contract may be added as an additional rule to Schedule 5 of this Contract and shall hold the same weight as a standard term.


  • The parties shall treat each other with mutual respect and honesty at all times.
  • The parties will never abuse each other, violate each other’s trust, play mind games, or engage in emotional manipulation with one another, other than as part of play between the parties.

Rights of Mistress

  • Mistress shall have the following rights subject to the limitations of this Contract:
    1. to control and dominate submissive;
    2. to do anything Mistress pleases with submissive, whether for Mistress’ amusement, pleasure, or as punishment;
    3. to use submissive’s body at any time, in whatsoever manner, sexually or otherwise, subject to the limits stipulated in Schedule 3 (if any);
    4. to punish submissive for breach of his obligations;
    5. to express tenderness, love, and understanding toward submissive;
    6. to remind him of his submission;
    7. in Her absolute discretion, to grant and later revoke any right or privilege not mentioned in the Contract in favor of submissive, and;
    8. to reward submissive for good behavior as follows:

Being allowed to masturbate.
Being allowed out of chastity cage.
Being able to request specific teasing activities.
Switching for a weekend while keeping him locked in chastity.
Being allowed to orgasm.
Not having to eat his cum.

Responsibilities of Mistress

  • Mistress shall make decisions with due thought and care.
  • Mistress accepts responsibility for submissive’s body and agrees to provide a safe environment for submissive while in Her care.
  • Mistress agrees to train submissive and provide him with all necessary guidance and materials he needs to best serve Her.
  • Mistress must protect submissive’s physical and mental health during play, humiliation, punishment, or any other activity. Mistress shall not be physically or mentally abusive outside the terms of this Contract.
  • Mistress shall not monetarily exploit submissive or attempt to isolate him from society.
  • Mistress shall maintain personal hygiene and health at all times to an acceptable standard.
  • Mistress shall provide submissive with reasonable aftercare following any play/scene. Additionally, Mistress may stipulate what aftercare She requires from submissive, if any.
  • Other responsibilities of Mistress:

To play with submissive often.

To make sure he feels fulfilled

To take active part in putting him in the proper mentality and keeping him there.

Availability of submissive

  • submissive shall make himself available to Mistress during the following times:


submissive’s Behavior

  • submissive must treat Mistress with respect, loyalty, and honesty at all times.
  • submissive must never be rude, demeaning, or condescending toward Mistress
  • In private, submissive must address Mistress as “Mistress” at all times without fail. In public, where there is not enough privacy to use this title, submissive shall address Mistress as “Ma’am or Jen.”
  • submissive acknowledges his behavior is a direct reflection of Mistress and he shall act in good representation of Mistress at all times.
  • Eye contact restrictions, if any:

submissive may not make eye contact during punishment.

  • Touching restrictions, if any:

submissive may not touch Mistress’ breasts or genitals without permission.

  • Other expected behaviors of submissive:

submissive will keep his body available to Mistress at all times.


  • submissive may communicate with Mistress as follows:

A period of at least one hour will be set aside every Sunday to discuss the relationship and address any concerns or questions. All rules regarding behavior will be suspended during this discussion.

submissive may ask for clarification on an order or request.

Responsibilities of submissive

  • submissive agrees to submit to Mistress in accordance with the terms set out herein.
  • submissive now belongs to Mistress to do with as She pleases within the guidelines of this Contract.
  • submissive must diligently and promptly obey the terms of this Contract and Mistress in every request without question, subject to submissive’s Veto power in clause 34 (if ticked). Questions may be asked about commands only for clarification purposes in a respectful manner.
  • submissive agrees to wholeheartedly serve, and always aim to please, Mistress.
  • submissive will accept Mistress’ training and guidance in whatsoever form, wherever provided to help him serve Mistress and help himself grow into a better person.
  • submissive shall promptly inform Mistress of any wrongdoings that take place while not in Mistress’ presence.
  • submissive will obey all orders, duties, and responsibilities within Mistress’ areas of control as stipulated in clause 31.

Areas of Control

  • Mistress shall have exclusive control over the following aspects of submissive’s life and body.

Body, genitals, sexual slavery, bathing and washing, eating, self-gratification, mind, tobacco use, recreational drug use, alcohol intake, photographs, videos, recordings of submissive, grooming and hygiene, health and fitness.

  • submissive is prohibited from acting on or making any decisions with respect to matters which fall within Mistress’ areas of control. If submissive has any suggestions or requests in respect of such matter, submissive must raise this with Mistress and request to engage in or act on the suggestion or request in a respectful manner. Mistress shall give thought and consideration to submissive’s feelings and concerns when making decisions, however submissive acknowledges that Mistress shall always have the final decision-making power in Her absolute discretion.
  • Where submissive has a right to make a choice in respect of a matter, submissive shall consider whether his choice will please Mistress and shall always be within the orders, boundaries, instructions, and guidelines Mistress has set for submissive.

submissive’s Veto Power

  • submissive may refuse to obey Mistress’ command where such command:
    1. is unlawful or may cause unlawful injury or harm;
    2. is deemed by submissive to be legitimately unsafe;
    3. may cause severe detriment to submissive’s life, such as causing family tension or loss of work;
    4. may cause psychological trauma to submissive; and/or
    5. is agreed to be withdrawn by Mistress.

Terms of Exclusivity

  • The following terms of exclusivity apply:

Mistress may give or loan submissive to another person provided the terms of this Contract are upheld.  Mistress is responsible for ensuring that the Mistress or Master upholds the provisions of this Contract.

submissive may have other lovers or submissives with Mistress’ permission, provided that such activity does not interfere with Mistress’ use of submissive.

Mistress may accept other submissives or slaves, having regard to submissive’s emotional response to such decision.  Mistress must not allow such action to cause submissive emotional instability or to result in ignoring submissive.  submissive shall never compete with, or think of himself as being better than, another sub.

submissive must not interact romantically or sexually with any other person without the express permission of Mistress.


Mistress must never request or require submissive to perform any of the hard limits in Schedule 3.  Mistress and submissive are open to trying and are curious about the play activities designated as soft limits in Schedule 3.  Prior to engaging in a soft limit, a discussion must be held.

Safe Words

  • Either party may use the following safewords at any time without criticism or punishment:
    1. “Red” indicates the party’s physical, emotional, or moral boundary has been crossed and all activity must stop immediately.
    2. “Yellow” indicates that the party is close to reaching their physical, emotional, or moral level of endurance and wishes to continue at a reduced level of intensity.
  • When using gags, instead of safe words in clause 38, submissive may use the following signals:

shaking head three times.

  • Once the safeword or safe signal referred to in clause 38 or 29, respectively, is used and play has ceased, Mistress shall discuss any breach with submissive in a tender and understanding manner.


  • Mistress may punish submissive for breaching this Contract using any of the allowable forms of punishment listed in Schedule 4. Mistress agrees not to withhold any necessary elements such as water, food, shelter, or sunlight for prolonged periods.

Safety and Compliance with Laws

  • During punishment or any other activity related to the Contract, the parties agree not to engage in any act or inflict any injury or harm which:
    1. is not consented to;
    2. is unlawful regardless of consent; and/or
    3. results in any of the following: death, broken bones, loss of a distinct part or organ of the body, serious disfigurement, loss of mobility or function, incurable sexually transmitted diseases, permanent marks, burning of the body, permanent hair loss, drastic loss of circulations, internal bleeding, loss of consciousness and/or any permanent injury to health.

Collar/s & Name for submissive

submissive has a wedding ring to represent the ownership Mistress possesses.  submissive goes by the name kazander.

Alteration of Contract

  • After signing, the Contract must not be altered without the consent of both Mistress and submissive. To be valid, any such alteration must be in writing, documented in Schedule 6 and initiated by both parties.
  • If the alteration requires a new Contract to be prepared, the old contract must be destroyed upon signing of the new Contract.

Entire Contract

  • This Contract comprises the entire agreement between Mistress and submissive. The parties agree that they have not relied on any prior representations, statements, claims, or agreements not contained in this Contract.


  • Either party may terminate this Contract at any time, for whatever reason, and without notice. If both parties agree, they may hold a discussion about the termination, discuss its reasons, and decide whether there is a possibility of renewing the Contract in the future.
  • Following termination, Mistress and submissive will revert back to the usual friendship or association they had prior to entering this Contract.
  • The parties may renew or re-enter this Contract at any time if both choose to do so. The new end date must be documented and signed by both parties in Schedule 2.
  • Upon termination, submissive shall own his body once again.
  • Unless agreed by both parties, upon termination all evidence of the Contract shall be destroyed.

Necessary Declarations

  • Mistress and submissive acknowledge and declare that they:
    1. are at least eighteen (18) years of age or the legal age of sexual consent (whichever is greater);
    2. enter into this Contract of their own free will and without any undue influence from any other person;
    3. are physically and mentally competent to enter into this Contract;
    4. are not under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or medication at the time of signing this Contract; and
    5. will not engage in any unlawful acts, sexual or otherwise, in carrying out their obligations under this Contract.

Schedule 1

Goals for Mistress

  1. To better communicate with submissive.
  1. To better voice my expectations and desires.
  1. To be a stern, but fair, Mistress.
  1. To keep sessions and other playtime fun.
  1. To follow through with all rules set out.
  1. To play often with submissive.
  1. To keep expectations realistic.
  1. To remain deserving of his trust.
  1. To be gentle and move slowly when pushing his limits.
  1. To make sure his needs are met.

Goals for submissive

  1. To think more before saying no.
  1. To do a better job at communicating my wants, needs, and desires.
  1. To pay more attention to Mistress’ wants, needs, and desires.

Schedule 2


In accordance with Clause 54, Mistress and submissive agree to renew the Contract for the following term:

Schedule 3

Play Activities

and Limits

Tick box “Y” to designate activities you are interested in experiencing.

Tick box “H” to designate hard limits.

Tick box “S” to designate soft limits (activities you are curious about but which require prior discussion/permission.

Strike through activities that are not applicable.

Activities that are not mentioned or are not ticked are deemed as: ☒ soft limits ☐ hard limits ☐ allowed.


Services (Light and Heavy)


☒Y ☐H ☐S: Anal

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Anal Plugs

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Anal Sex

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Anal Beads

☐Y ☐H ☐S: Aromas

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Being Serviced Sexually

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Ben-Wa Balls

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Bottom Worship

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Breast Play

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Breast Worship

☐Y ☐H ☐S: Clit Pumps

☐Y ☐H ☐S: Clit Stimulators

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Chores (Domestic Service)

☐Y ☐H ☐S: Cock Worship

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Cock Rings

☐Y ☐H ☐S: Corsets (Wearing)

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Cunnilingus

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Dildos

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Double Penetration

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Eggs (Vibrating)

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Enemas

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Erotic Massage

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Fellatio

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Figging

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Fisting

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Food From Body

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Forced Dancer (Strip Tease/Belly Dancing)

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Genital Sex

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Golden Showers

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Hand Jobs

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Hot Oils

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Ice Cubes

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Kneeling

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Latex, Rubber, PVC Clothing

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Licking

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Lingerie (Wearing)

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Massage

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Modeling

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Nipple Clamps

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Nipple Play

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Orgasm Control

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Orgasm Denial

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Play Parties (Play)

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Play Parties (Voyeur)

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Pussy Worship

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Sensation Play

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Rimming

Services (Light and Heavy) (… continued)


☒Y ☐H ☐S: Shaving

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Skinny Dipping

☐Y ☐H ☐S: Sex Swing

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Sex Toys in Public (Under Clothes)

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Sexual Deprivation

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Strap-On Dildos

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Suction Cups

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Swallowing Semen

☐Y ☐H ☒S: Tampon Training (Anal)

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Teasing

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Tickling

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Vibrators

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Water Sports

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Whipped Cream

Restraint and Sensory Deprivation

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Arm/Leg Sleeves ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Handcuffs ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Straight Jacket
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Blindfolds ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Hoods ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Stretchers
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Bondage (Light) ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Immobilization ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Suspension
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Bondage (Heavy) ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Leather Restraints ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Suspension (Inverted)
☐Y ☐H ☐S: Breast Bondage ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Manacles ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Table Play
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Chastity Devices ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Rope Restraint ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Thigh Cuffs
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Chains ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Saint Andrew’s Cross ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Thumb Cuffs
☐Y ☐H ☒S: Duct Tape ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Shibari ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Locks
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Gags ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Silk Scarves ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Harness
☐Y ☐H ☐S: Gates of Hell ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Spreader Bars


Y H S: Abrasion Y H S: Flogging Y H S: Racks
Y H S: Ball Stretching ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Hairbrushes ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Riding Crops
Y H S: Belts ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Hair Pulling ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Scratching
Y H S: Biting ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Hot Wax ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Spanking
Y H S: Breast Whipping ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Nipple Torment ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Strapping
Y H S: Caning ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Paddles ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Weights (Genital)
Y H S: Clothespins ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Pain (Light) ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Whipping
Y H S: CBT ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Pain (Heavy)
Y H S: Face Slapping ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Parachute

Role Play & Scenes

Y H S: Age Play Y H S:   Forced Bi Y H S:   Mommy Play
Y H S: Animal Role Play ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Forced Masturbation ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Mouth Bits
Y H S: Bathroom Control ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Gas Mask ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Outdoor Scenes
Y H S:   Crossdressing ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Group Sex ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Prison Scenes
Y H S: Cages ☒Y ☐H ☐S: High Heel Worship ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Punishment Scenes
Y H S: Competitions ☐Y ☐H ☒S: House Work ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Swapping Partners
Y H S: Cuckold ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Human Ashtray ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Uniforms
Y H S:   Education Scenes ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Human Furniture ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Videoed Scenes
Y H S:   Exhibitionism ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Human Puppy ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Voyeurism
Y H S:   Feminization ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Human Pony ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Servant/Maid
Y H S: Fantasy Rape ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Including Others ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Threesome
Y H S:   Fantasy Gang-Rape ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Play Kidnapping ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Triple Penetration
Y H S: Masks ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Wrestling

Heavier, Extreme, & Edge Play

Y H S: Asphyxiation/ Breath Control Y H S:   Flame Play

Y H S:   Knife Play

Y H S:   Speculums

Y H S: Slings

Y H S: Branding ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Medical Scenes ☒Y ☐H ☐S: TENS Unit
Y H S: Catheterization ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Mummification ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Urethral Play
Y H S: Cattle Prod ☐Y ☒H ☐S: Needle Play ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Violet Wands
Y H S: Cutting ☐Y ☒H ☐S: Piercing (Temp/Perm) ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Sounding
Y H S: Electricity ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Sleep Sack ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Water Bondage
Y H S: Examinations ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Saran Wrap ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Fear Play

Psychological Dynamics, Mind Control, & Humiliation

☒Y ☐H ☐S: Begging/Pleading ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Forced Dressing ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Hypnosis
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Boot Worship ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Forced Nudity ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Homage
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Chosen Food For ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Forced Servitude ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Homage with Tongue
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Discipline ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Humiliation in Private ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Interrogations
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Exercise ☐Y ☐H ☒S: Humiliating in Public ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Lecturing
☒Y ☐H ☐S: Foot Worship ☒Y ☐H ☐S: Mind Games

List of Other Limits, Services, & Activities Interested In: (remember to designate Y, H, or S)

☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text. ☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text. ☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text.
☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text. ☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text. ☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text.
☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text. ☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text. ☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text.
☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text. ☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text. ☐Y ☐H ☐S: Click here to enter text.


Schedule 4


Tick the allowable methods of punishment below:

Additional Chores Figging Panty or Ball Gags
Being Deprived of Privileges ☐ Grounding ☒ Pinching
Bondage/Restraint ☒ Hairbrush Spanking ☐ Silent Treatment
Caning ☒ Hair Pulling ☒ Spanking
Cages ☒ Handcuffs ☒ Stocks
Cells/Closets ☒ Hot Wax ☐ Time-outs
Corner Time ☐ House Work ☒ Water Torture
Crops ☒ Ice ☐ Weights
Feminization ☐ Kneeling ☒ Whipping/Flogging
Fantasy Abandonment ☒ Leg Chains ☐ Writings
Orgasm Denial ☒ Paddling

Other allowable punishments (corporal/non-corporal)

  1. Public spanking in front of lifestyle friends or at lifestyle events

Schedule 5

Additional Rules

In accordance with clause 3, Mistress and submissive agree on the following additional rules:

  1. submissive must not use imperative sentences when addressing Mistress.
  1. When submissive gets home from work, he must spend 5 minutes sucking the dildo, to put him in a submissive mindset.
  1. When submissive wishes to be given attention, he may make the request by kissing Mistress’ feet and asking.
  1. submissive will not argue or protest punishments or any of Mistress’ commands.
  1. submissive is not permitted to ask to be allowed to orgasm.

Schedule 6

Alteration of Contract

In accordance with clause 48, Mistress and submissive agree to alter this Contract as follow:

14 thoughts on “Our Contract

  1. Hapa says:

    What an extraordinary piece of work. From the sub side, rules and framework are the safety net we allow ourselves to fall backwards into. It’s comforting to have a tangible form for a dynamic frought with emotion and hormones. I hope my Mrs chooses to give me her version of this.

    Thank you for putting it out there for us all!

    • Domina Jen says:

      Thank you for your kind words! Yes, we’ve always had rules for him to follow, but this is so much more in-depth, and I think will definitely help us out.

  2. Subhubphx says:

    What a thorough and wonderful contract. May I ask …. Is eating his cum only something you require as a form of punishment? Is sharing something you already practice, or something only considered? Is a public spanking something new?

    I love your blog!

    • Domina Jen says:

      Thank you. Yes, eating cum is a punishment. He can’t stand the taste, and it makes him dry-heave if I make him eat too much of it. I’m afraid he’ll actually puke if I make him eat all of it, and I paid over $200 for my sheets. I don’t want him puking on them. And yes, we have an open marriage. I’ve shared him with other Dommes, he’s had a sub of his own, and I’ve got other boys that I play with. Public spanking is new. He’s very nervous in the public scene, so that will definitely be humiliating for him.

  3. dommeluck says:

    I love this. You are like my femdom Oprah. Is there a place I can download the blank template of this contract?

    Also, you may want to do a ctrl+f for his name, it’s used inconsistently and you may not want it up here.

  4. Thads says:

    I’m with Dommeluck, a downloadable template would be great.
    Love the contract……and very few hard limits.
    Lucky sub and mistress.

  5. Mic says:

    Very interesting! I’m looking forward to read about how it came out after the trial month!

  6. Andrew says:

    I would be so honored to enter such a contract, thank you Goddess

  7. Andrew says:

    How may I belong to you Domina Jen, if it is possible for me


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