Where’s the love?

M’kay, so pretty much everyone I’ve met in the lifestyle knows about the Queen of Spades and what the symbol means.

Super popular

Super popular.

If you don’t, this symbol means that a woman is interested in black men, usually as a bull in a cuckold relationship, and there is usually a level of submission to the black bull implied.

But what most people (that I’ve met personally, anyway) don’t realize is that there are three other Queens, each with their own meaning.

The Queen of Clubs is a woman who is looking for another woman for extra-curricular activities, with varying degrees of involvement from the Queen’s significant other.

The Queen of Hearts is a woman who is interested in one-night stands, usually in a cuckolding scenario.

And the Queen of Diamonds is someone who is interested in a guy for a long-term relationship on the side, with varying levels of involvement from the Queen’s significant other.

I’m a Queen of Diamonds, in case you’re wondering.

What happens is a lot of women will get temporary tattoos on their ankles (or real tattoos, in some cases) or they’ll wear ankle bracelets with a Q charm and a suit charm to symbolize that she’s available for extra-curricular fun, and to show what she’s looking for.

But I cannot find any Queen of Diamonds temporary tattoos, charms, or ankle bracelets.  I can’t find any Hearts or Clubs, either.  It’s all Queen of Spades.  A quick Google search will show dozens and dozens of sites, tumblrs, and blogs devoted to the Queen of Spades.

And that’s all well and good.  I’ve been with a few black guys, and while, in my experience, their skills have been severely lacking, their dicks are big, and come on, they’re just hot.

But I don’t have a racial fetish.  Black guys don’t turn me on any more or less than white guys or Mexican guys or Chinese guys or whatever.  And I damn sure don’t want to submit to any man, regardless of what color he is.  So no, I am not a Queen of Spades.  I don’t want to limit myself to only one race.

And you don’t find websites or tumblrs or jewelry or tattoos for the other Queens.  Where’s the love, man?

7 thoughts on “Where’s the love?

  1. Polthus says:

    I just thought of an idea/possible solution for you but cannot find the website at a glance. They make these ‘swap-out-charm bracelets that are really nice. Not cheap looking at all. If I can find the link I will email or post It here.

    Sorry – that is if you have any interest in the idea. Not trying to presume.

    • Domina Jen says:

      I’m absolutely interested! I’ve seen the charms for the spades suit everywhere (some really look amazing) but no diamonds. If you happen to find the link, I’d love to have it!

  2. Thads says:

    Long time reader….first time commenter. First off thanks for a really hot blog. As an Alpha male in most aspects of my life, it’s refreshing to see the perspective of a dominant female with an alpha sub. I had no idea there were any other “queen card” definitions. I think the definitions are wider though. Just as the labels of domme and sub mean so many different things to different people, I think the “queen” labels are the same. Me and my wife are exploring, ( through hot talk at the moment ), the dynamic of us moving towards a cuckold type relationship. The thought of me being in chastity while she gets pleased by a well hung dominant black man…is soo hot. If….and I mean if, we get to a place where she was black only, and a “queen of spades”, it would not fit the popular definition of that term. I am the Alpha/leader of my house and family, and bow to noone, even though I’m sexually submissive to my wife. I would only do things to my wife or to her bull…at her direction….never his. My wife would also not just submit to someone just because of colour. I could very much see my wife as a queen of spades…..but on our terms…the way we want.
    Having read all of your posts, I know your an intelligent person, and one that understands that there aren’t many absolutes in labels…..I just figured I’d reiterate that point on this comment.
    Keep those sub boys on their toes….and I really hope you cuckold your man one day….soo hot lol.

    • Domina Jen says:

      Thank you for your kind words!

      You’re right about the labels. I’ve known some Queens of Spades that don’t submit to their black bulls. But based on the reactions of various black men I’ve spoken to, seeing that symbol on a woman usually (but not always) implies some level of submission or obedience.

      Although that obviously doesn’t have to be the case. If I were to get a black bull of my own (again, I don’t consider myself a Queen of Spades, because I’m not looking for black men exclusively, and I’ve never, in any of my travels in real life or the internet, seen that symbol on a woman who isn’t looking specifically for a black man. But just because I don’t consider myself that, absolutely does not mean that I’d be opposed to having a black bull or black boyfriend. It wouldn’t be the first time) my relationship would be very similar to what you describe with your wife, and the potential cuckold scenario you two have discussed so far. It wouldn’t follow the popular definition at all.

      And I agree, I would never want ANY bull to have that kind of control over kazander. Those situations I see and hear/read about, where the wife gives the bull her husband’s chastity key, or makes her husband obey him and submit to him, are huge turn-offs for me, for two reasons. First of all, my husband is mine. Absolutely and completely. He doesn’t belong to anyone else, and I’m not going to give up even a modicum of my control over him. He’s my toy, and I was a spoiled little shit growing up, and I’m a spoiled bitch now. I don’t share. Second of all (and perhaps most importantly) kazander is every bit the alpha male I describe him to be. He’s not the leader of our house or our family, but, like you, he’s the leader in every other area of his life; of all his friends, coworkers, and he has more or less adopted the “patriarch” position of his own family, despite the fact that he’s the youngest of his siblings, and he has a father and an uncle who should theoretically have the position over him. He was also brought up in a very bad part of town in Maryland (have you ever seen The Wire? Yeah, pretty much that) and has never really shied away from confrontation. If a bull tried to take control of him, or stepped out of line, it would end in bloodshed and a visit to the bail-bondsman. He would never bow to anyone else, and I would sure as hell never expect him to. I can definitely understand you not wanting to submit to anyone else.

      You know my position on labels in general, and the endless list of definitions and exhausting semantics. You and your wife know what gets you hot, what works for you as a couple, and what you want. It doesn’t matter what anyone else’s definitions are.

      I’d love to know how your explorations go, though!

  3. abezure says:

    It seems you should start your own. Then that would allow you to teach the world of real Femdom.

    • Domina Jen says:

      I would, but I’m not the least bit crafty when it comes to jewelry, and the only person I know who could teach me is kazander’s oldest sister, who knows the Queens system (and is a Queen of Spades, herself, although her husband has no knowledge of her extracurricular activities) So I don’t see that going well….

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