So I’ve talked about semantics, and how there are as many definitions as there are members in the BDSM community. It’s sparked countless debates, and countless arguments. I always thought those arguments were petty, so I never really paid much attention to labels and the supposed differences between a sub and a slave, or a Domme or a Mistress.
But yesterday, a friend of mine told me about a website, BDSMtest.org, that lists every archetype I can think of, and offers an impressively logical, common-sense definition for each. The test itself is not all that great. It didn’t really tell me anything I don’t already know, but I imagine it would be quite helpful for newbies.
Still, it was amusing to see the results, and I do love those definitions.
== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
100% Bondage Giver
100% Degradation Giver
29% Primal (Predator)
4% Primal (Prey)
0% Bondage Receiver
0% Degradation Receiver
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=315116
So yeah, no real surprises there (although I don’t get the “prey” thing. I’m thinking I must’ve accidentally clicked the wrong button on one of the questions). But according to this site, there is a distinct difference between Dominant and Mistress, sub and slave, and all of that.
“Dominants like to be in charge. Some like to have their partner obey them without questioning, others like some resistance while taking it their way. Some are dominant only in the bedroom, others are dominant throughout their daily life as well (usually with limitations). Unlike the top roles (giving pain/bondage/degradation), being dominant is more about who decides what happens (and takes the responsibility that comes with it) than about the contents of what happens.”
“Masters/Mistresses receive complete control over the life of their slave(s), and all responsibilities that come with it. They go a step further than dominants in the sense that their power exchange is present 24/7 and in all aspects of their life (except for negotiated exceptions such as during their office jobs). Their primary focus is to create a stable and safe environment for their slave(s), to allow optimal servitude.”
So yeah, that’s a great way to describe those roles. I still don’t put a lot of stock into titles or anything like that, and I have no desire to change my own title to Mistress Jen (I like the way Domina sounds better), despite the fact that, according to these definitions, I tend to lean more toward Mistress than Dominant. Still, reading about all those different archetypes has been very educational.
And supposedly, this is a relatively new site, and once they get enough test results, there’s the option to have them email me with much more detailed information, such as how I compare with other people in my gender/age group/location, tips and trivia, what my ideal match looks like and how rare it is, and other stuff like that. Pretty neat.