Kazander and I were discussing my desire to get the spawn a pet. I really wanted her to have a pet. Sure, she’s got the betta fish in her room (she named him Blpblplb, because that’s what happens when a 3-year-old names something). But the kid needs a pet.
I wanted to get her a dog. But we share our backyard with his family, who lives next door, and none of them want a dog. My reaction, of course, was “fuck ’em,” but kazander thinks I’m “too mean” when dealing with his family.
Too mean? Me? How shocking.
So he suggested a compromise. He suggested ferrets. He’d had ferrets back when he was younger, and thought they would be good pets. And, since I also had ferrets back when I was younger, and absolutely adore the smelly, fuzzy, psychotic little critters, I jumped on it.
He would have rather waited until she was a smidge older, but I didn’t want to wait. So we went out this weekend and dropped $900 on two baby male ferrets, a big cage, all the accessories, and some minor modifications to ferret-proof the house.
And omigod, I forgot how much I love ferrets. They’re like perpetual toddlers on crack. They’re amazing. I let the spawn name them and of course she named them Kwazii and Peso, after two characters from her favorite TV show (because that’s what happens when you let a 3-year-old name something). But the names are cute, so it works.
So this morning, I let them run around the living room and bathroom for a bit, and was surprised to look up and see Kwazii, all half a pound of him, dragging a something black and almost as big as he is into the middle of the living room. It was one of kazander’s butt plugs, that had gotten misplaced in the bathroom after being washed months ago. I absolutely could not find it, and just assumed that it must’ve gotten thrown away by mistake.
I have no idea where it was, or where he found it. But hey, cool.