This? This is a thing?

Since when is this a thing?  Where the hell have I been, that I didn’t know this was a thing?

First of all, that looks totally obvious.  The blending is awful.  She looks like she’s got zebra stripes on the tops of her boobs.  And second of all, what was wrong with her tits in the first place?

If I’m playing around with a woman, and decide to suck on her boobs, I really don’t want to get a mouth full of foundation and concealer.  Eww.  Mood killer.  Boobs are much tastier when they’re not covered in chemicals.

Who needs makeup to “enhance your decolletage?”

Do you have boobs, regardless of whether they’re real or fake?  Oh, you do?  Then they look great.  I have never (and will never) kick a woman out of my bed because her tits are too ordinary.

I, for one, like my boobs just the way they are.  They’re one of my favorite parts about my body, and have never failed to garner attention from the members of the opposite sex.  And I’ve recently lost some weight, so now they look even better.  Gotta love those plunging necklines, man.

Yay, boobs!