This post is a reply to a post by writingthebody (check him out, his writing is amazing), talking about his first experience with a golden shower.
But, really, apart from the many potential kinky uses, it’s a skill that I think every woman should know about. Sometimes, you’re out camping and don’t have access to a toilet, or maybe you’ve walked into a dingy bathroom and are confronted with a toilet that’s appallingly dirty. It’s not a skill that’s completely necessary, but I learned how to do it years and years ago, and it’s definitely convenient in certain situations.
Still, it’s a tricky thing to accomplish, and takes practice. I suggest practicing it in the shower until you’ve mastered the technique.
Anyway, here are the steps I learned.
First of all, you need to become intimately familiar with the way you look down there. Every woman is different, and I’m constantly surprised throughout my travels to learn that many girls simply just don’t know exactly what everything is down there. Learn about yourself. You need to figure out exactly where your urethra is (it’s very small, so don’t worry if it takes a minute to find it). You need to know the difference between the labia majora and the labia minora. Use a mirror, and just get acquainted with your happy place.
Again, I strongly suggest practicing in the shower. Stand with your feet a little more than shoulder width apart, and push your pelvis forward as far as you can. Yes, you will look ridiculous. Embrace the ridiculousness. If, for some reason, you’re not in the shower, and are trying this at a toilet, I suggest taking off everything from the waist down. If you haven’t mastered this yet, you will likely still make a little bit of a mess, and the best way to avoid getting your clothes dirty is simply to take them off. If you have a dress or low-hanging shirt, you might want to take that off, too. Stand almost directly above the toilet bowl (for the love of God, don’t try to break any distance records. It will only end in heartache).
There are a couple of methods to do this, and different things work with different women. The method I learned is the two-finger method. Hold up your index and middle finger in a “peace” sign, then turn it upside down and basically just, well, spread yourself. You need to pull the labia minora far away from the urethra (yes, it can be uncomfortable for some women at first). It also helps to pull them apart and slightly up, so you’re sure they’re not blocking the urethra at all. You need it to be completely exposed so the urine comes out in a stream, rather than running down your leg (gross). Another way to do it is to use the index finger of each hand to push the labia apart. Either way is fine, it’s just a matter of preference. The point is that you need to get the labia as far away from the urethra as possible. However you choose to do that is your own business.
Start the flow. Sometimes it helps to push the urine out faster than you would if you were sitting, but again, that depends on your body and your preference. After some practice, you’ll find that you can rotate your hips a bit, along with adjusting how much you pull upwards, you can control where the stream goes.
Like I said, it takes practice, but after only a little bit of time, you should be able to figure out how to do it. After awhile, you should be able to stand in a public restroom (or in front of a waiting boy) and aim perfectly, without even having to take your clothes completely off. What I’ve done in the past is pull my pants and underwear down to about my mid-calves, then bend my knees outward so I’m doing a little bit of a half-squat. But I once spoke to a woman who could do it with just pulling her pants and underwear down to about the middle of her thighs.
It’s tricky to learn, but really not difficult once you get the hang of it. And you’ll never again have to stand in front of a filthy toilet trying to decide whether to brave the filth, or whether to hold it until you get home.