I received this gem on a particular website, and it gave me a good laugh.
“I imagine myself kneeling, submitting fully to you, while you whip me til I bleed and stomp on my face with your exquisite black heels. If this is something that appeals to you, let me know. We’ll make it happen.”
Um, no thanks. I’m good. And my heels aren’t black, thank you (although I’m long overdue for a pedicure, so they do look a bit shabby).