So I was talking to one of my vanilla friends the other day, and she was lamenting the absence of her husband. This was a long conversation, but somewhere in the middle, she mentioned that she missed having sex with him.

Now, she’s a bit on the conservative side, and has really never mentioned sex before, so I raised a brow at that. I guess she saw my reaction, and picked exactly that moment to ask me how often kazander and I have sex.

Well….

Define “sex.”

Does this count?

I’ve been asked this question before by other girlfriends, and since I’m apparently thick and haven’t learned by now to have an answer prepared, it always makes me pause before finding the right thing to say. I don’t like to outright lie, but certain things don’t need to be said aloud at a children’s playground, either. So I told her that we fool around two or three times a week, and thankfully, she left it at that, moving on to other things that she missed about her husband.

In truth, we probably only have sex a few times a year. But actual sex is such a tiny part of what we do, neither of us really miss it. Last night, for example. I made him give me oral and lick me to two orgasms. Then, because he’s still devolving, we pushed our limits a bit by making him lick me clean after I peed. And then, I let him jerk off on my ass, and made him lick it up.

Both of us were satisfied, but there was no sex. There usually isn’t. And that’s just fine with me.