Questions Asked

Okay, there are a couple that can be answered with only a few sentences, so I’m combining those into one post.

1. Do you keep your sub in chastity all the time?

No. Most of the time, we use the honor system. I control his orgasms, but I don’t make him wear the cage all the time. Sometimes, though, I’ll put it on for a day or two, to add to his frustration. But I haven’t found one that’s comfortable enough for him to wear 24/7. And he has to walk a lot at his job, so I don’t feel like it’s necessary to do that to him.

2. Do you ever have sex with your husband?

Yes, but not often. I don’t think either of us really miss it, though. We have other ways to get that satisfaction. For me, I can’t orgasm from sex (except for like, twice) so it’s not a big thing. I get that orgasm from oral or my vibrating wand. And he’s such a twisted, depraved little shit, he has trouble getting aroused from sex alone. He likes to be teased and denied, and humiliated. That’s how he gets his satisfaction.

3. How often do you let your sub cum?

Lol, not as often as he’d like. Probably once or twice a week.

4. Do you ever Dominate subs online?

No. I’ve found that long-distance relationships don’t work. And I can’t enforce rules or commands online, so it all just feels fake to me. A boy has to be local, or I’m not interested.

5. Have you ever thought about having more than one sub at a time?

Yes. I’m naturally polyamorous. But since being with kazander, that desire waxes and wanes. He keeps me very satisfied. The other issue is my kid. She takes up a lot of time, and right now, I just don’t have the time or energy to devote to another sub.

6. How do you keep your D/s relationship with a toddler around?

It’s tough. I believe that children can adapt and learn normalcy in pretty much any situation, but I’ve wanted to be a mother all my life, and damn it, I’m going to do this the right way.

And to be completely honest, my sexual drive isn’t what it used to be. Before the spawn came along, I’d play with kazander almost every night. But now, by the time I put her to bed, I’m exhausted. This age is a challenging one. Once she gets a bit older, I think we’ll be back to where we used to be. But in the meantime, we find ways. Sometimes, when he’s lying on the couch, I’ll stand in front of his face and bend over, as if I’m picking something up off the coffee table, and shove my ass in his face. I also sometimes walk around naked, so I’ll give him a quick, discreet tease. Also groping him and playing with him under a blanket is sometimes fun. But really, when she’s around, the D/s aspect isn’t seen much. I want her to have a strong, assertive father. That’s very important to me. And kazander can’t be that for her if I’m degrading him or being controlling of him in front of her.

7. I read that you’re Catholic. How does that work with D/s?

Easily. The Bible says a lot about sex, and Catholic doctrine says a lot about sex. But first of all, I never claimed to be a good Catholic. My daughter born out of wedlock is testament to that. The fact that I want to cuckold my fiance (which translates to adultery) is another testament to that.

So maybe I’m a hypocrite. I’ve been called that before, and probably will again. But for me, it isn’t so much about the rules. It’s about what’s in your heart, and your relationship to your God. I believe in God and Jesus Christ, and I believe in the Catholic Heaven and hell. But I also recognize that the Bible was written by men, not by God. And it was written years after the events it discusses. It’s a guide book, but it’s not perfect.

Secondly, Catholicism is a very forgiving religion. People often make fun of it, thinking that it’s all fire and brimstone, and guilting people into being good. But that’s not what it is. We talk about sins a lot because it teaches that we will all sin, we all are not perfect, we all kind of suck at being what God expects us. But He loves us anyway, He forgives us, He welcomes us into His arms. And all we have to do is ask. Even if it all turns out to be completely false and there is no God (I have faith that this is not the case, but the possibility still needs to be acknowledged) it feels good to know that someone/something out there sees into the darkest parts of my soul and loves me anyway. So in summation, I know that I fall short of what a Catholic is supposed to be, but I believe that God still loves me, accepts me the way He made me, and all that mushy stuff.

8. Are you bi?

I don’t like titles like that. But if I had to label it, I guess I would say that I’m pansexual. I gravitate more towards men, but I’ve played with women and transexuals, too, and like them just as much. To me, as long as you’re a good person, intelligent, and funny, I’m attracted. I don’t limit myself by only accepting one gender as a potential partner.

3 thoughts on “Questions Asked

  1. boipower says:

    I’m really glad I found your blog! I enjoy reading what you write. I like that you aren’t trying to be flashy or bothering to try to impress anyone. That straight forwardness makes for great reading. I look foeward to more, so keep up the good work!

    Sincerely,

    Jacob

  2. Jay says:

    Hey Jen,

    I was just reading a post from a while back about “fairness” and differences in Vanilla relationships as opposed to D/s… physical punishment as opposed to silent treatment. I didn’t want to step on your post so I came here. I’m not sure if that was proper?

    The main point I took from there was there are no happy endings if objective communication is not cultivated. It doesn’t matter if it’s D/s or Vanilla. People tend to have different ways of behaving when they have strong feelings or are not completely trusting. Could you please talk about some of the similarities you run into at the start of relationships and what you do to redirect? How much smoother are things now as opposed to when you first met?

    Sorry if I missed a previous post.

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