So it’s been brought to my attention recently that sometimes I allow kazander to talk me into letting him orgasm, when originally I may have told him no.
And I already knew that about myself. Sometimes, yes, I do give in. Yesterday was one of those examples (although there was an actual, legitimate reason why I changed my mind, but that’s neither here nor there).
Why do I give in? Sometimes, it’s just to shut him up. Whenever’s he’s been denied for awhile, he nags. A lot.
And the threat (and execution) of punishment doesn’t often dissuade him from the nagging. It’s especially grating just as I’m curling up in bed, trying to go to sleep, and hear him buzzing in my ear like a mosquito. By that time, I don’t have the energy to get back out of bed to beat him into silence. By the time I get in bed, there’s only one thing on my mind.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s a lot I could be doing that would indirectly solve the nagging problem. I don’t play with him as much as I used to. Hell, there was a point in time where we’d play damn near every day. And it didn’t always have to be something long and complicated. A little buttplug in him, groping him while we watched a movie, quick floggings at random points throughout the night, etc. That was a lot of fun, and both of us were satisfied.
Having the spawn around limits us a bit. Obviously, while she’s awake, I can’t make him walk around naked, begging to be allowed on the furniture. And she’s going to bed later now, so there isn’t much time between her bedtime and ours to play with each other. On top of that, half the time I’m just mentally and emotionally exhausted from spending all day coloring with her or practicing her letters or trying to help her grasp the difference between male and female (I’m all about teachings kids to be polite and respectful, so obviously teaching her to say “yes, Ma’am, no Ma’am, and yes Sir, no Sir” is a big deal. But she hasn’t quite mastered the concept of male and female yet, so we’re still working on that).
I know being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t seem like much to some people, but those people are idiots, and by the time she goes to bed, I’m just too tired to do much with kazander.
And that’s a major problem. He’s my sub and deserves better than that. And I’m working on that. But as of right now, when he starts nagging about being allowed to cum, especially when we’ve already lied down, I just don’t have it in me to effectively shut him up. A quick handjob takes a lot less energy, and then I can go to sleep.
But there are other ways to shut him up, too, that I need to consider. I could take my panties off and shove them in his mouth. He doesn’t love that, because it makes his mouth dry. But he could easily avoid the whole thing by shutting up. Or I could drink a Rockstar and spend the next couple of hours pouring hot wax on his dick. I’m pretty sure that would get the message across. And I’m pretty sure it would only take once.
So yes, it’s time for me to start giving kazander more attention. It’s time to put on my big-girl panties and deal with being a little tired. That’s why God invented caffeine.