I’m Ready for My Mom-of-the-Year Award

Okay, so I usually don’t spend too much time on the computer while the spawn is running around. When kazander’s home, it’s a different story. But during the day, I try to give her at least a hefty majority of my attention while she’s awake. I’m not into all that using-the-TV-as-a-babysitter crap.

So today, I was probably spending a little too much time on the computer. I’d just put the last load of laundry in the washer, and was taking a break before tackling the bathroom. So I wasn’t giving her my undivided attention.

I thought I had cleaned all of our adult toys up and put them away this morning before waking her up, but the spawn proved me wrong.

She ran up to me, smiling and jabbering away, and my jaw dropped. She had found kazander’s thick leather collar and had put it around her neck. Obviously she couldn’t buckle it closed, and it looked more like a scarf than a collar, but just the level of pure inappropriateness and what-the-fuckery made me bust out in hysterical laughter. Not only did she somehow know that it was supposed to go around her neck (she’s never seen kazander wearing it) but she just seemed so proud of herself for having it on.

She was pretty disappointed when I took the collar from her and put it away. I told her that I’d give it back to her in 20 years if she still wanted it, and she smiled at me, said “more please crackers,” and dashed into the kitchen to dance impatiently while I got her some crackers to snack on, the collar completely forgotten.

I think I’m going to need to really triple-check for our grown-up toys in the future. And then triple-check again.

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